starfior

I almost died.

Really. No shit. Honest to god almost died.

It's snowing like some one shook up a goddam snowglobe outside, and it's not looking like it's going to stop soon. So my ass is stuck at work looking outside and going "Motherfucker... I have bald tires on my car because I'm too ass poor to replace them."

So I'm driving slow on my way home. No shit right? But to get to the top of a hill I had to let my little Impreza's engine wind up a bit, so I hit the top going 35. No problem... No problem...

WRONG! Huge fucking problem. Bottom of the other side of this hill is a stop light. With cars at it. Stopped. Well fuck... I have 150 yards to slow down... plenty of time...

EXCEPT WHEN YOU HAVE BALD TIRES AND YOU HAVE NO FUCKING GRIP ON THE ROAD!!!

So I hit my break, my car tells me to fuck off, and I do some baddass crazy, General Lee can't touch this shit, Duke Boy's style driving. Which involved my car, a curb, a light pole that was 5 inches away from my car, a 540degree turn, and an Escalade barreling down the hill behind me.

Want the punchline? Course you do. It's like rye, you can't turn it down.

There is no damage to the car, and there is no damage to the me. RAh. Fuck everyone. I am the lost fucking Duke boy. Fear my baddass driving skillz muthafucka!