Wow, it's been 4 months since my last post, and a lot has happened. First and foremost, my Boyfriend bought a house in Mid-September, and I moved in with him. I love it. I get to spend every spare moment with the man I love, and we take very good care of each other. It is the first time in my life that I have lived with anyone that I was romantically involved with, and it was the same for him, so it was an adjustment, but things have been pretty smooth for us. I went from a person who was used to sleeping alone in my own bed my whole life, and now I have trouble sleeping if I can't feel him in bed with me or hear him snoring. What a difference 2 months makes! We also celebrated our first anniversary. Neither of us could pin down exactly when we started seeing each other - either the last week in October, or the first week in November- so I suggested we split the difference and celebrate on Halloween. I've always loved that holiday anyway. 
We stayed in, and I made homemade lasagna for dinner. It was low-key, and that suited both of us just fine. Things are going very well between us, and my family has commented on how I'm "glowing" 
I didn't think I could glow. All I know is that he makes me very happy.
My beloved grandmother was diagnosed with breast cancer about 3 months ago. I was a basket case because we are very, very close. Apparently, radiologists had found suspicious spots in her annual mammograms, but hadn't seen fit to mention it. She went 2 years without any action being taken before she saw for herself that they were spreading, and after her doctor still didn't want to do a biopsy, she went and got a second opinion. It was a good thing she did, because the spots were cancerous. She underwent a mastectomy a few weeks later. Weeks went by, and the family agonized over her prognosis before the tests came back conclusively. They had completely removed all the cancer with the mastectomy, and thankfully, the cancer had not spread to her lymphatic system. She was given a dose of radiation, and is now halfway through an abbreviated round of chemotherapy as a preventative measure. During the entire ordeal, however, I was blown away by her spirit. She stayed very, very positive, and was determined not to let her diagnosis get in the way of her living her life to the fullest. She is a very, very strong woman. I am so grateful she is on the road to recovery, and doesn't have a long, drawn-out fight ahead of her. We were blessed.
My car- a 1990 Chevy Lumina- finally gave up the ghost after getting me around for close to 8 years. Something went wrong with the coolant system for the third time since I had it, and I determined that repairing what was wrong with it would probably cost more than the car was worth at this point. So I began a slow process of finding a new car. Fortunately, my boyfriend let me drive his truck to work for over a month while I scouted dealerships and fiddled around with the bank applying for a loan. I picked my car up Saturday. It is a 2004 Chevy Malibu, the newer body style. It is a sharp-looking little car, has plenty of zip and low miles. And, thanks to me shopping around, I have a great interest rate on my loan and payments that are definitely manageable. I love driving it.
Work has been really stressful lately. I am beginning to suspect that my boss has either lost her mind or is trying to make me lose mine. I work 3rd shift, alone, and the workload on my shift is massive. For months and months, I would come to work, hit the ground running, fly through my night, and when I came to the end of my shift- exhausted and flipping out, I still wouldn't have everything done. The vast majority of my shifts would end with me so stressed out I was physically shaking because there was so much to do in so little time. I have a history of depression, and because of that, I have to be very careful about my stress levels. This went on for months and months, and I was terrified that I would relapse. If not for my job, I might be unmedicated by now. My moods had been very stable for nearly 3 years, but with the stress I have been experiencing over the last several months, I don't dare go off my antidepressants. My boss is beginning to make noises like she is unsatisfied with my job performance, but I have come to the conclusion that though I will come to work and work hard for her, I will not drive myself into the ground or wind up having a nervous breakdown. If things don't get done, I no longer beat myself up over it. I took that job knowing it would be weird hours and that it would be difficult at times because I would be working alone, but I didn't agree to be superwoman. We may wind up having a bit of wake-up call when my next performance review rolls around. I never agreed to this level of stress. I do not get paid enough for this kind of shit.
We stayed in, and I made homemade lasagna for dinner. It was low-key, and that suited both of us just fine. Things are going very well between us, and my family has commented on how I'm "glowing" I didn't think I could glow. All I know is that he makes me very happy. My beloved grandmother was diagnosed with breast cancer about 3 months ago. I was a basket case because we are very, very close. Apparently, radiologists had found suspicious spots in her annual mammograms, but hadn't seen fit to mention it. She went 2 years without any action being taken before she saw for herself that they were spreading, and after her doctor still didn't want to do a biopsy, she went and got a second opinion. It was a good thing she did, because the spots were cancerous. She underwent a mastectomy a few weeks later. Weeks went by, and the family agonized over her prognosis before the tests came back conclusively. They had completely removed all the cancer with the mastectomy, and thankfully, the cancer had not spread to her lymphatic system. She was given a dose of radiation, and is now halfway through an abbreviated round of chemotherapy as a preventative measure. During the entire ordeal, however, I was blown away by her spirit. She stayed very, very positive, and was determined not to let her diagnosis get in the way of her living her life to the fullest. She is a very, very strong woman. I am so grateful she is on the road to recovery, and doesn't have a long, drawn-out fight ahead of her. We were blessed.
My car- a 1990 Chevy Lumina- finally gave up the ghost after getting me around for close to 8 years. Something went wrong with the coolant system for the third time since I had it, and I determined that repairing what was wrong with it would probably cost more than the car was worth at this point. So I began a slow process of finding a new car. Fortunately, my boyfriend let me drive his truck to work for over a month while I scouted dealerships and fiddled around with the bank applying for a loan. I picked my car up Saturday. It is a 2004 Chevy Malibu, the newer body style. It is a sharp-looking little car, has plenty of zip and low miles. And, thanks to me shopping around, I have a great interest rate on my loan and payments that are definitely manageable. I love driving it.
Work has been really stressful lately. I am beginning to suspect that my boss has either lost her mind or is trying to make me lose mine. I work 3rd shift, alone, and the workload on my shift is massive. For months and months, I would come to work, hit the ground running, fly through my night, and when I came to the end of my shift- exhausted and flipping out, I still wouldn't have everything done. The vast majority of my shifts would end with me so stressed out I was physically shaking because there was so much to do in so little time. I have a history of depression, and because of that, I have to be very careful about my stress levels. This went on for months and months, and I was terrified that I would relapse. If not for my job, I might be unmedicated by now. My moods had been very stable for nearly 3 years, but with the stress I have been experiencing over the last several months, I don't dare go off my antidepressants. My boss is beginning to make noises like she is unsatisfied with my job performance, but I have come to the conclusion that though I will come to work and work hard for her, I will not drive myself into the ground or wind up having a nervous breakdown. If things don't get done, I no longer beat myself up over it. I took that job knowing it would be weird hours and that it would be difficult at times because I would be working alone, but I didn't agree to be superwoman. We may wind up having a bit of wake-up call when my next performance review rolls around. I never agreed to this level of stress. I do not get paid enough for this kind of shit.
Big HUGE congrats to you and your man. I know very well what it means for another person to make you that kind of happy.
And I'm very glad for you and your family that your grandmother is going to be ok. My step-father just got diagnosed with stomach cancer. Best case scenario; he "only" has to have 2/3rds of his stomach removed and then get the preventive does of radiation and chemo like your grandmother...and probably change his diet big time too. Worst case scenario; the cancer has spread to his lymph nodes and he has the surgery, then has full-force does of chemo and radiation. The are no scenarios that fall in the middle.
And I don't like his chances if the worst case scenario turns out to be a reality. He's about 60 or so, with chronic high-blood pressure and an artificial heart value to fix a problem that was life-threatening in and of itself. I can't imagine him pulling through any aggressive cancer treatment.
I won't lie and say we've always been close, we most certainly have not. But he was the one who served as a father figure for me, better or worse, since my birth father ran off to another state to try and avoid making child support payments following my parents divorce. More than anything I guess, I cry over the pain my mother will go through if her husband dies. They have been married for almost 30 years, the latter being fairly happy years as my step-father has grown more docile in his old age. My mother's first two marriages were extremely violent and brief, respectively.
I'm very sorry to hear about the stresses in your current job too. You are right about one thing for sure, you can only do so much. Working hard does not mean accomplishing the impossible, at least on a regular basis. I do hope that "reality check" moment gets you some relief with continued employment.
Congratulations on moving in with your boyfriend.
Hope it works wonderfully.
In that case, sorry I sent your Christmas card to the wrong address.
And congrats on getting a new car.
Sorry your job has become more stressful. Hope it eases.
Glad your grandmother is doing well.
Happy New Year!!