Okay, maybe I'm just not up on the social niceties. I recently moved back to my hometown, officially. Now, there are certain places in my hometown I prefer to avoid. The church I went to growing up is one. People have asked me why, and I told them that I had a bad experience there, and I don't want to go back. When they press me for more information, I explain that my peer group in that church didn't acknowledge my existance at best, and were outright cruel to me at worst. A lot of those people that treated me badly are still regulars at the church. These are people I really don't want to have contact with. So, I don't go to church. This is beside the fact that I'm no longer a Christian in the classical sense.
Now, this is where I seem to lose people, for a reason I really don't understand. People, after hearing my explanation as to why I don't want to go to that church, state that I seem to be holding a grudge against these people who weren't nice to me in the past, and that it isn't healthy.
I don't hate them. I don't wish them any ill. I hope they are all quite happy with their lives. However, I can go my entire life without seeing any of them again, and be very content with that. They have demonstrated to me that they are not nice people, and that they don't like me. Now, going to a place where it is almost guaranteed that I will not only see them, but they will come up to me like they're long lost friends of mine, try and hug me, ask me how I'm doing, etc. all for appearances' sake is a very unpleasant thought. I really detest the falseness of situations like that, but I'm forced by social pretense to make nice as well and hear about their job and their boyfriend and their new house when what I really want to do is walk away. They don't like me, I don't like them, so I'm not going to go out of my way to be around them. I don't hate them, I'm not carrying around a bunch of negativity toward them, but they are not people I want to be around. Period.
How exactly is this concept so foreign?
Now, this is where I seem to lose people, for a reason I really don't understand. People, after hearing my explanation as to why I don't want to go to that church, state that I seem to be holding a grudge against these people who weren't nice to me in the past, and that it isn't healthy.
I don't hate them. I don't wish them any ill. I hope they are all quite happy with their lives. However, I can go my entire life without seeing any of them again, and be very content with that. They have demonstrated to me that they are not nice people, and that they don't like me. Now, going to a place where it is almost guaranteed that I will not only see them, but they will come up to me like they're long lost friends of mine, try and hug me, ask me how I'm doing, etc. all for appearances' sake is a very unpleasant thought. I really detest the falseness of situations like that, but I'm forced by social pretense to make nice as well and hear about their job and their boyfriend and their new house when what I really want to do is walk away. They don't like me, I don't like them, so I'm not going to go out of my way to be around them. I don't hate them, I'm not carrying around a bunch of negativity toward them, but they are not people I want to be around. Period.
How exactly is this concept so foreign?
I've never understood why one is supposed to pretend to be friends with people they never liked in the first place.
That's why I have no interest in going to a high school reunion. I never saw these people outside of school, and many of them weren't particularily nice to me anyway.
Mind you, I might feel differently if I were wildly wealthy and could arrive in a helicopter or something.
And I don't know why people should feel it's their business to try to get you to go to church.
I'm in the same boat as Northern too... I did not go to my first semi-reunion because the people at school made fun of me because i was weird and different. The people that i wan't to keep in touch with were my friends in high school. The others ? i havn't heard about them and don't really care if i ever do.
I have stopped being religious in the full sense of the word.... and why the hell do people care? i don't know... i really dislike when someone tries to put their beliefs on me and try to make me go back to church .... "you'll go to hell", oh really? ok then ill see you there.