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starburst

Sacramento

Member Since 2005

Followers 17 Following 82

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Saturday Mar 25, 2006

Mar 25, 2006
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Life sucks, i'm getting ready for school, which is supposed to be the most exiting time of my life, yet i'm soo scared because i'm a drug addict who can't get through the day without getting high, how am i ever going to make it through school?? it's not like i can just quit using, i've been an addict for 9 long years, i want to quit, but my mom, dad, sister, there addicts too!! i know it was my choice to start using, i can admit that. Now i need it to be produtive in life. And my family thinks i'm worthless, even though they use too..they make me feel like i'm nothing, a piece of shit, sub human, and they've been telling me this my whole life. yeah yeah poor me, whatever!!! and the sad thing is, i'm sometime think they're right...but i'm trapped, i feel helpless, i feel like i have nobody to guide me through this....wtf am i going to do?? i wish someone would put me out of my misery, before i hurt anyone else...I've been trapped in my own little world latley bieng stand offish twards everyone who comes in contact with me, including my family, hoping that maybe different people will come into my life, and show me how to live without this disease. But it's not working i'm just pushing away everyone, because sadly everyone i know is sick too...hope is a fairy tale, hope is a fairy tale...no one cares but me....right??....right...HAHAHA!!! i'm alone now.... frown

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