squeak

I went down into the city to visit my close friends, George and Andrew. Upon arriving at Andrews house I expressed my interest in getting a cheeseburger. When he asked me whether I would rather have Wendys, McDonalds, or Burger King I was faced with a problem. All three of those restaurants have burgers that are uniquely delicious. I could not choose.
It was at that moment that I decided that we must conduct a scientific experiment. And that day, the Moo Moo Massacre was born!

Below is a brief rundown of the research methodology that led to the invention of Bovinious Maximus Triumvirate; affectionately referred to as a "Moo Moo Massacre":


Question: Can a perfect burger be created if one takes the best aspects of a Wendys, Burger King, and McDonalds burger and merges them into one specimen?

First, we had to gather our tools for this experiment. A quick run through the Wendys and Burger King drive-thru provided us with a sampling from each establishment.


Then we were off to McDonalds to purchase the final ingredients needed and to find a quiet, isolated area to conduct the experiment.




Our hypothesis was that by dismantling each of the three burgers and re-assembling them in a way that was both structurally sound and absolutely delicious, we would invent the perfect fast food burger. One that would satisfy even the most fervid of appetites, as well as appease a craving for all three of the mega-franchises.


We began by deciding which of the buns was going to hold this enormous creation. After some quick deliberation it was unanimously decided that the Wendys bun was the most structurally sound bun and could withstand the weight and greasiness of the other ingredients. After that it was a simple matter of removing the buns from the other two burgers and stacking the rest of their components on top of the Wendys burger.



The result-

Finally, the taste test!

(cheers)

Initial tasting revealed that the Burger King hamburger meat easily overpowered the seasoning of the other two. We made note of this and hope to come up with a solution to this problem during the retesting period. Our theory is that stacking the meats differently might better distribute the flavors. I shall publish that data when it becomes available.
Another issue is the size. This was not a problem for those of us with larger stomachs or high metabolisms, however, the Moo Moo Massacre proved too much for some researchers:


Overall, I would call the experiment a success!


Despite the small issue with Burger Kings overpowering taste, the burger was indeed satisfying and delicious. I felt that it truly did satiate my craving for all three restaurants burgers. We are all looking forward to retesting this experiment in the near future and encourage other researchers to do the same.