To all of my friends,
I am not testing friendships or making a joke. Most of you know I usually lack the ability to be serious, but i have something to say that is very important. This may change how you feel about me, it may not. Either way it must come out.
Many of you would probably consider me to be unique, not like most guys, a little feminine, or maybe even gay. Well maybe this will help ease some of the confusion, although Im sure it will create more. Since I was little I have fought within my mental over many thoughts and hidden many feelings due to fear of embarrassing my family or being shunned as I have lived in such a Conservative city. I am not gay in the Traditional way, I am a lesbian. Again, I am not joking.
Through out childhood I always identified with girls. My ex-step father beat me when I asked why I couldnt dress like my stepsisters. They didnt even know about my questionings, and still dont. As a matter of fact, my mother just found out last year, to her shame of me. Yet again another disappointment. In middle school I had a counselor, the only one i wasnt afraid to tell, who told me it was ok to feel this way. It was called gender dysphoria. She said it might go away, so I did everything I could think of to change how I felt.
Sea Cadets, ROTC, cross country, womanizing, trouble making, military service, even marriage... and nothing changed. I have realized what I am, a woman trapped in a really cute guys body(see humor, you can laugh). I want to correct this, and before its asked...No I dont like men. I am going to transition to become a woman and will be a lesbian (gay out of traditional thinking). No you cant convince me to change my mind. I am happy with myself and I am doing what I know is right for me.
Im hoping I will receive support after you read this. To those that wanna hate, go ahead, Ill be happy. You can hate all you want. A few of you already know and have become distant and I am greatly disappointed in myself for having made friends who are so closed minded. I am Me and that is who I am. I will still be the same person, just different clothes and different body.
Understand that I am 22 now and dont want to be a 30 year old woman in a 30 year old mans body. I thank those of you who already know and are supporting me. It means allot to know you care. And a major thank you to those who have given me clothes, make up, and phone numbers for the help I need. This will be a long process, and I hope many of you will still be there to help me celebrate in a few years when I have completed my transition. I wont forget those who help.
Thank you for your time,
Tony
I am not testing friendships or making a joke. Most of you know I usually lack the ability to be serious, but i have something to say that is very important. This may change how you feel about me, it may not. Either way it must come out.
Many of you would probably consider me to be unique, not like most guys, a little feminine, or maybe even gay. Well maybe this will help ease some of the confusion, although Im sure it will create more. Since I was little I have fought within my mental over many thoughts and hidden many feelings due to fear of embarrassing my family or being shunned as I have lived in such a Conservative city. I am not gay in the Traditional way, I am a lesbian. Again, I am not joking.
Through out childhood I always identified with girls. My ex-step father beat me when I asked why I couldnt dress like my stepsisters. They didnt even know about my questionings, and still dont. As a matter of fact, my mother just found out last year, to her shame of me. Yet again another disappointment. In middle school I had a counselor, the only one i wasnt afraid to tell, who told me it was ok to feel this way. It was called gender dysphoria. She said it might go away, so I did everything I could think of to change how I felt.
Sea Cadets, ROTC, cross country, womanizing, trouble making, military service, even marriage... and nothing changed. I have realized what I am, a woman trapped in a really cute guys body(see humor, you can laugh). I want to correct this, and before its asked...No I dont like men. I am going to transition to become a woman and will be a lesbian (gay out of traditional thinking). No you cant convince me to change my mind. I am happy with myself and I am doing what I know is right for me.
Im hoping I will receive support after you read this. To those that wanna hate, go ahead, Ill be happy. You can hate all you want. A few of you already know and have become distant and I am greatly disappointed in myself for having made friends who are so closed minded. I am Me and that is who I am. I will still be the same person, just different clothes and different body.
Understand that I am 22 now and dont want to be a 30 year old woman in a 30 year old mans body. I thank those of you who already know and are supporting me. It means allot to know you care. And a major thank you to those who have given me clothes, make up, and phone numbers for the help I need. This will be a long process, and I hope many of you will still be there to help me celebrate in a few years when I have completed my transition. I wont forget those who help.
Thank you for your time,
Tony
erinya:
hello my lovely future friend..