spyder_doll

wow i am super blue taday just feeling down and out *insert twangy blues rift here* eh i need a huge hug and no one will give it to me ...my sweety was supposed to come with me to a 2 month massage class reunion party tonight and he convienietly made other plans just like my business' grand open house he never came to, i was sad before i found out he couldnt make it once again but now i am on the verge of tears i am the only one there whose significant other remains vertually unknown...they are all gonna think that i pretend he is all wonderful and so special to me. they will think i just make it up because if he was so special and great and loving he would show up for his girls important events. i called my dad to be my date and his lady is being psycho and he is stuck in too...i dont think i will even go to the reunion now ho hum sigh i miss being single ...no one had the authority over my life to let me down or disapoint me i never felt that i had to bring someone into my social events it is kinda scary to imagine how close i am to actually asking for my independance back i dont want to clean up after someone anymore. i dont want to be let down anymore i dont want to worry about someone else i want to worry about me i want to hog the bed i want to play with whom ever when ever i want to run away from the best relationship i have ever known.....eh ..i am making a mistake i need to talk to him and straighten things out if they can be.....sorry for the rant i was just feeling the urge to purdge my mind ...i feel less blue atthe moment thanks sg till later