spqremp

today is a day that just plain was awkward. in a fit of plain boredom i decided to drive around, and in passing i have the wonderful idea to call a former friend who i dont talk to on principle that she is well the crazy bi-polar co-dependent of this bastard travis who is a petty manipulating sociopath, but becides the fact that katy (that is my former friend) is sick and differed to travis at every turn she was a cool girl. so back to the story, i call katy after passing her former place of employment i find out latter with the excuse that i found an old cd of her's. so i call her--now the idea of just calling and not answering, i figured that the number would no longer be in service--so instead of breathing heavy into the phone i say hello and tell katy that i have found her empire records cd and wonder if she wants to get toghather--im neglecting the fact that im leaving for flagstaff sunday--so we meet and have well not the classic awkward conversations but the kind of conversation that you would have if someone woke you up in the middle of the night and forced you to talk to some one you didnt really know or would want to know. so after about ten minutes of that i left after giving her my number (you know, call me and we'll hang out). so then later my ex-girlfriend i.m.s me and has one of thoughs detached conversations (i still like her {maybe love her} and my hypothesis is that she just detached herself from me because she was afraid) we had the...hi how are you, oh that is nice, what have you been up to, oh that is nice, um yeah iv gatta go so um yeah...but the thing is that i havent talked to her since the mid of september or so.
immediately after this two conversations i pretty much felt like one big lonely piece of poop. <sigh>

i just have had a rather not happy holiday weekend, oh well