spooki

[.happy.new.year.]


everyones been reflecting back on their year... and yea, i dont think i can really do that. not by month or anything at least. the only things i can really think of from this year are breaking up with javan and losing teren... and those are both fairly recent. but they were both really hard for me. shouldnt there be good things that im remembering? most of them have to do with javan, actually... i guess in some ways i still hate myself for falling out of love with him because it doesnt seem fair, at all. ive always been with terrible people that treated me bad and i found someone worthy of that kind of love and just lose it. ... not that it was my fault... but i still feel bad. i dont like to hurt people. and so i try to avoid it now by refusing commitments and then realize that wether i call it that or not, subconsciously... you make commitments... your body makes commitments. ::sigh:: intricate little webs i spin for myself. [.oh.no.i.see... a.spider.web.is.tangled.up.with.me.] this year was also good because me and brandy spent a lot more time together than usual. cherisse got pregnant. and in a lot of ways its really exciting for me to see her going through that. although the timing could maybe be better for her, im excited for the baby and glad that we've spent time together and got over another one of our stupid... but i guess important... arguements. helps you to realize that some things just really arent that important... no matter how badly you want to hold onto them and make a point. its not worth having the last word.


but anyways... for new years i really didnt do much drinking. it didnt sound that great for some reason. me and josh hung out and played games and watched family guy and had the house to ourselves. made several trips to quik trip? mmmm fountain drinks and cold ravioli. we also went to walmart to buy a game and mad gab was intercepted by two extremely ditzy girls who were talking about how they repeatedly drop their cell phones and they think they broke it and yea, i dunno what else. i felt dumber after listening to their conversation. me and josh picked on each other all night and called each other mean names but it was still fun. i dont think either one of us really meant it... *most* of the time... heh. but yay, pictures.





i like this picture. i think its really cute...



oi! candyland! definately better than playing life...



yea, we only completely suck at scrabble. but i had really crappy letters... like... all vowels... and he was just trying to make me feel better, i think. its bad when you cant even *let* someone win.