My baby cousin seems very, very excited that I'm having a baby so close to when she had hers. She seems to already be planning things for us to do together with the little ones. I have kind of mixed feelings about this. On one hand, I do love my family very much and want to be accepted and welcomed by them, and I REALLY want that involvement and acceptance for my child, but.... It just seems kind of messed up that I have to spit out a kid to be a part of the family. I'm not sure I should expect it to last. I'm very paranoid that when my little one is no longer so cute and little, it may be right back out we go. They did that to my parents and myself when I was a kid and, I've gotta say, that messed me up pretty bad. I don't know how much I want to risk that for my kid.
![confused](https://dz3ixmv6nok8z.cloudfront.net/static/img/emoticons/confused.9b1223c913e4.gif)