Seeing-Eye Hobos
I was walking up Oxford street to Good Vibrations last month, my mind walking ten steps behind me (he's embarrassed to be seen with me) when I traipsed past the set of traffic lights at Taylor Square. Amongst the people waiting to cross the road was a lady with a guide dog. I figured she was most probably on her way to the Tool Shed* so I smiled as I walked past, seeing as how I love Braille porn as much as the next red-blooded male. But as I walked past I noticed her dog. Now, I know guide dogs aren't the most outgoing of canines - they're not allowed to be because they have to keep their minds on the job of getting their owners around safely - but this poor pooch looked like he wanted to be *anywhere* else. I mean it was a Saturday afternoon and all his mates were probably out chasing cats, catching Frisbees or humping people's legs, but this unfortunate bugger was working. It then occurred to me that guide dogs probably don't get many days off or even get paid weekend rates, and that they must have a really lousy union.
Anyway, a few metres behind the queue waiting to cross there was a homeless person asking people for money (as I presume he also wanted to visit the Tool Shed). He made his way around the blind lady and her Labrador, and when the lights changed he made his way across with the rest of the people. It was then that my mind came running up the street to meet me and an idea suddenly popped into my head. The more I thought about it, the more it made sense.
What if hobos could be trained to help those with impaired vision?
They would be far easier to teach (the sane ones anyway) and perhaps even cheaper to maintain. All they would need is three or four longnecks of VB a day and a quick scratch behind the ears to remain healthy and happy. They could then jobshare with the Labradors on weekends, so that the guide dogs could go visit family, catch up with friends, or go to the Tool Shed on their own time.
The blind person might not even be able to tell the difference, what with the similar smells between hobos and Labradors, the comparable numbers of fleas, and the having to stop every so often by a lamppost so the hobo can relieve his/herself. They wouldn't even have to go out and buy special food as most hobos aren't picky and are content to eat anything. The homeless person would get the benefit of a loving companion for the weekend, a roof over their heads, be wormed and vaccinated for free, and get to rise up the social ladder to be "man's best friend" for 48 hours.
It's a win-win situation!
*The Tool Shed is a well known sex shop in Sydney
I was walking up Oxford street to Good Vibrations last month, my mind walking ten steps behind me (he's embarrassed to be seen with me) when I traipsed past the set of traffic lights at Taylor Square. Amongst the people waiting to cross the road was a lady with a guide dog. I figured she was most probably on her way to the Tool Shed* so I smiled as I walked past, seeing as how I love Braille porn as much as the next red-blooded male. But as I walked past I noticed her dog. Now, I know guide dogs aren't the most outgoing of canines - they're not allowed to be because they have to keep their minds on the job of getting their owners around safely - but this poor pooch looked like he wanted to be *anywhere* else. I mean it was a Saturday afternoon and all his mates were probably out chasing cats, catching Frisbees or humping people's legs, but this unfortunate bugger was working. It then occurred to me that guide dogs probably don't get many days off or even get paid weekend rates, and that they must have a really lousy union.
Anyway, a few metres behind the queue waiting to cross there was a homeless person asking people for money (as I presume he also wanted to visit the Tool Shed). He made his way around the blind lady and her Labrador, and when the lights changed he made his way across with the rest of the people. It was then that my mind came running up the street to meet me and an idea suddenly popped into my head. The more I thought about it, the more it made sense.
What if hobos could be trained to help those with impaired vision?
They would be far easier to teach (the sane ones anyway) and perhaps even cheaper to maintain. All they would need is three or four longnecks of VB a day and a quick scratch behind the ears to remain healthy and happy. They could then jobshare with the Labradors on weekends, so that the guide dogs could go visit family, catch up with friends, or go to the Tool Shed on their own time.
The blind person might not even be able to tell the difference, what with the similar smells between hobos and Labradors, the comparable numbers of fleas, and the having to stop every so often by a lamppost so the hobo can relieve his/herself. They wouldn't even have to go out and buy special food as most hobos aren't picky and are content to eat anything. The homeless person would get the benefit of a loving companion for the weekend, a roof over their heads, be wormed and vaccinated for free, and get to rise up the social ladder to be "man's best friend" for 48 hours.
It's a win-win situation!
*The Tool Shed is a well known sex shop in Sydney
but would you pet a hobo?
If you would start a career as an animal activist you would definitely get me to vote for you.
there's another thing, ever heard of the story woman-dog-peanutbutter?
Yes, i would work with hobos as well, but honestly - i guess these ladies would still choose the dog over the hobo.
anyway, your little story: top of the day!
thanks for commenting