spazzing

i think i might actually be moving out soon
i have lived in the same house for my entire 23 years of life. my room is a cave of wonders. there was a few years where i was itching to move out sooooo badly and couldn't stand my parents but i never did and now ive grown quite comfortable with still living here with them. i like my house. i like my quirky, crafty clutter filled room. i love my well stocked kitchen. i love my sunny backyard and giant jacuzzi. i love my dog and cat. i love my free internet access. but of course, there's still that bit of me that knows, i really really really need to move out.
there have been a lot of things holding me back. mainly financial things. i could go on and on. and in general, moving is really scary to me. the whole concept boggles my mind. but now it looks like i might actually be moving.
my very good lady friend wants to move out of her current condo, and she really wants me to live with her. she recently found a 5 bedroom place in town. 5 bedrooms for Her, her man, her brother, her 5 year old son, another of our friends, and myself. we are all pretty excited. she has applied for the house, and there's a good chance we'll get it (cuz yay children) she wants to move in asap, and even though me and the other friend moving in do not currently have the jobs required to fund such rent, she is allowing us to move in early and just pay whatever partial rent we can until we have our real job monies. she is the most generous and i love her a million (and her son)

i currently have literally zero monies for such things. i dont know how the fuck ill be able to move in. BUT if all goes accordingly to plan, i will be taking a fancy teacher test on saturday, and passing (thats pretty key) and then i can register as a substitute teacher. id prolly register in a town with a bit of a commute, but id have better luck getting gigs there as i have good connections. and THEN ill have the job monies to live with my best friends. its super exciting. and super stressful. im super worried about it all. i really hope this all works out.
and did i mention moving is really scary to me? the thought of getting to decorate a new blank space keeps me going. having a fresh work space and all that. god, its going to take FOREVER >.<

also. if i am getting on this teacher train, i'm prolly gonna have to say goodbye to my dreadlocks (and medusa piercing). and that makes me really really really sad :/ i hope i look alright with short hair

now here's a picture i did recently and quite like