spazzing

Dear Ziggycash,

I had a dream about you last night. It was kind of ridiculous. Please understand that I am not responsible for any misguided accusations my subconscious projects. Also, it was a dream so the plot doesnt really make any sense and I cant remember much of it.
Ok, so in my dream I was finally visiting you. There was something about this visit that I already knew was going to be disturbing. I had plans to kill you after our romp and I had a feeling you did too. Really badass visions of me pointing your very own gun at your head kept flashing through my head in preparation. But we also both knew that the fateful end had to wait, cuz first we were gonna have some awesome fucking fun together.
So, we arrived at your house. You were very excited to show me in, bouncing around and chatting with me heatedly, both of us grinning stupidly. Looking at your house from the outside I realize now it sorta resembled one of those fun house maze things at county fairs, like a haunted house one. It was some strange cross between a a long flat trailer and a two or three story old ass mansion. Anyways, you let me into your house. Have you ever seen The People Under The stairs? Well its a lot like that, dark, old, dusty, and a lot of crazy locks with a difficult and secret way to enter.
So we talk a while and you leave to go do something, probably something bad because its about now that I frightened, suspenseful feeling. This is about the time a movie would start playing the creepy music. I decide to explore your house on my own, find the skeletons in your closet. I cant remember everything I come across, all I know is my dream was teetering on the edge of nightmare cuz of that frightened feeling I had. I walked along the long corridor of the upstairs of your house. I find the last room, your bedroom, which has a very large bed in it taking up the majority of space and on the bed there is a pile of blankets that I am positive has someone under them. Whether they are sleeping or dead I am not sure and I dont make an effort to find out (after all, Im smarter than the idiots in scary movies).
Now Im not entirely sure of this dreams chronology but I am pretty sure this is when the zombie/demon/aliens start attacking me. They crawled out of closets and other dark corners of our house. You know the martians from sesame street that make the funny noises? Well some of them were like that except made out of bloody, chewed up, and rotting flesh. And there were also a lot of zombie hookers. You really had a thing for killing prostitutes and making them your attack zombie slaves. So needless to say I evaded all the monsters in your house, I wasnt really fighting them off so much as running away from them until they went away. I assure you it was really badass nevertheless.
When they were all gone, you appeared again. You had a twisted congratulatory smile. You werent actually trying to kill me yet, this was just something that happens in your house if you are not carful. It was something I had brought apon myself by exploring without you. You were genuinely glad I was alive and I was genuinely glad to see you again. We were still buddies after all. You told me how you normally have something to fend off intruders and you wanted to show me how it worked. You went over to a control box located in disguise behind the wooden panels of a wall. There was a flurry of mechanical whirs and ticks and sputters. You giggled as a robotic version of yourself wearing a bathrobe and all came jittering over towards us on a metal track in the floor, which I hadnt noticed before. Your mechanical clone slid slowly on the track to the top of the stairs and slowly ticked into position into the middle of the hallway facing the open area that looked down on the first floor. I knew some more dangerous shit was about to go down. The ziggy robot lifted a gun out of it fluffy pink bathrobe and began shooting towards the front door and moving towards the start of the stairs. The robot arm pumped up and down sending bullets ricocheting wildly all over the house. I ducked and ran barley missing the bullets. It kept firing the gun, hundreds of rounds in that one pistol. It was aiming more on the second floor where it and I stood, shooting down the hall towards your bedroom where you somehow managed to get to with me noticing while I was still dodging bullets. I thought to myself, ziggy you are one crazy bastard! A crazy awesome, sick and twisted, genius!
When the robot was done and clickety clacked back into his closet I went to your room to chill with you. We both felt like getting on chat and saying hi to peeps. I asked where your computer was and you pointed to the corner end of the bed where it was set up. I was in awe of how different things looked on your cam to how they really were. Suddenly the things under the blankets on the bed started to move. I was frightened at first but as soon as the creatures revealed themselves I was just plain shocked and confused. You had children! I young girl and a younger boy. You were already naked in preparation for v and e chat and I was like WTF akwaaard! The kids wanted to know who I was and talk to me. And I, liking kids and being a nice person answered their innocent questions. I sat at the computer trying to get on SG and you sat behind me, ignoring your kids. I was getting kind of annoying with all the kids badgering as your computer was frustrating me since it was really tricky trying to get on SG. The kids told me to look at some video first and I did. The video showed you doing something but I dont remember what now. Somehow I had the epiphany that you were basically beetlejuice. I told you dude! You are totally beetlejuice! and you chuckled and were like yea, I guess I kinda am (how I made the comparison I have no idea but in my dream it totally made sense)
Finally the kids went away out of the room and I was in chat. We were both so horny and ready to get down on cam. We started making out when suddenly there was this big crash that sounded like it came from the basement..now this is where the dream becomes extremely cloudy and while a lot happened, this will basically be the end. Unfortunately big awesome dreams like these never seem to have a concise end and just turn into other dreamsso we hurried to the basement to see what all the commotion was. We opened the door and instead of walking down steps like expected we fell on our asses and slid down this metal slide. We landed in this strange industrial land lit up with neon lights and were surrounded by what looked like huge erector set constructions. You were yelling some name and cursing angrily. It sounded like there were cars racing around us. We heard another big crash and saw a heap of junk with a smashed car under it. You know the taxi from Who Framed Rodger Rabbit? Well it was that taxi. This dream fades off as I watched the taxi rebuild itself after his crash
Sothat was my dream, I think. It may have continued to the part where we actually do try to kill each other but I dont remember anything now. Anyways, we should totally hang out.

Love,
Spazz