sparkle

things just had to get heavier
more confused
mixed up messed up fucked up
and he was slowly begining to realize
he wasnt just digging his own hole here
his own grave even
that he was also falling deep down into it
but it was a ride he wanted to see to the very end
bitter or otherwise
whatever the end might be
so she picked him up ...
and they went to go sit at the church
...they drank some red wine and chatted
not for the first time she asks him why
he wants to meet her like this
he isnt sure if she is naive, blindly oblivous
or whether she just wants to hear him say it
hes wearing his emotions on his sleeve
so he tells her he wants to know who she is
inside, or if shes the same on the inside
as the outside
and how is that she asks
...he replies,
she absorbs his reply that doesnt preferable deny anything
he likes that he can perfectly keep his distance from her ...
trying to forget all around him
maybe he needed the beat to hit him where it hurts
all of a sudden she comes to stand at his side
and tells him he wants to put his arms around her
but he knows he cant
her reply is to get very close and ask him
why not
he tells her it was her idea
the distance does not arrouse suspicion
they go to sit on a bench beside the dancefloor
and they talk about music or bands
nostalgia and such things
the music is loud so their faces are very close
straining to hear each others words
and she puts her face next to his
and their cheeks touch
and they offer breaths
...
and they say like that for a long long time
an eternity
so long he feels the blood rushing through her cheek
so long he feels...
so long he feels the warmth pass from her to him
then she slowly turns her face towards his
there were just three gentle, delicate
lips to lips kisses
he counted them
afterwards he remembers each one of them
like 3 different books he might have read
all abrupt she backs up to release him from her face
i guess shes just realized what they were doing
he wants to make sure
she knows why he was resistng
the impulse to pull her close
so he tells her he wants to kiss her
so much
and it was very disturbing for them to talk in public
she nods and asks him to go away
he waits untill she asks him again
he wants to make sure she knows hes going
...
he moves away and goes to dance again
he isnt hearing music now
he just feels something cold in the morgue inside him
afterwards they go back to his place
as the car pulls up to the door he looks at her
without a word she says yes shed like a coffee
so in they go
she hates coffee
he knows that
she knows he knows her
it is all part of the game
she insists he turns all the lights off
so they remain like that in the dark
with the dog trying to come in through the curtains
she gets closer to him
still closer untill she rests her head on his legs
he is stroking her hair
when she starts to run away again
she has to leave
they listen to some music
the song comes on and she asks him
to translate the words for her
words the he doesnt yet know he wrote for her
she slowly realizes the song that
they had danced to just days before
was about her
they sit in silence for a moment
eventually the thought of her running away wins
and they head for the door
in the dark hallway she kisses him again
and she lowers her head
stuck in the noman's land
not sure whether she is going or staying
he strokes her face
says the things we all want to hear
he wants to kiss her
and he tells her so
he kisses her cheek
brushes her lips with his
delicately tries to graze her face
it is very dark
his hand is on the side of her face
she takes in hers
slowly pulls it down
untill it is gently cupping her breast
he feels frozen to the spot
silence darkness just their breathing
she turns and they kiss for one breif moment
then she opens the door
and slips off into the dark without turning around
and without a word
he later sended her a message
the more i know you
the more confused i am
but not about what i want
he knows she has to ask
he wouldnt have said it
if he didnt want her to ask
and of course she does
what do you want
what can he say
what should he say
what did he say
he writes
you

that was a song by this italian band called xp8....very very cool, the elipses were for parts i didnt understand. yes wrote that all down from listening to it, because the lyrics were not posted on the site. but it is a great song. such a buildup. damn. hooray for procrastination!!!!