Ever get the feeling that you are just genetically disposed to feeling bad. I know its not healthy to dwell on things that are impossible to change, but it seems imposible not to get into another winter depression. Of course, anyone who reads this blog with any sort of regularity will know that there hasn't been a time where things have been just simply okay. It's not that I intentionally set out to be whiney, it just sort of happens that way.
I am a little sad that one of my friends, one of the only people I can truly call a friend, is leaving after this semester. She will only be about a few hours away and of course will come visit her people here, but I can already tell that it will spent mostly with her boyfriend and I probably will be at work when she comes down so I won't get to spend much time with her anyway.
I just wish I had more friends. It wouldn't matter because even if I did, I would have to work whenever people generally do things (ie: the weekend) . Yeah, I make the choice to not seek a more convenient employment,, yeah there are aspects of my personality which make it unpleasent for people who would hang out with me. For example, there is this group of people who for ages I wanted to be a part of their clique but it never really worked out because I would get drunk and start getting emotional and killing peoples buzzes and not to mention I dated/hooked up with a few of them, so apparently I am the "town slut" or some shit, because I had casual relations with 2 or 3 people in a social circle.
It just makes me angry too...angry and depressed, seems like the story of my life.'
I am a little sad that one of my friends, one of the only people I can truly call a friend, is leaving after this semester. She will only be about a few hours away and of course will come visit her people here, but I can already tell that it will spent mostly with her boyfriend and I probably will be at work when she comes down so I won't get to spend much time with her anyway.
I just wish I had more friends. It wouldn't matter because even if I did, I would have to work whenever people generally do things (ie: the weekend) . Yeah, I make the choice to not seek a more convenient employment,, yeah there are aspects of my personality which make it unpleasent for people who would hang out with me. For example, there is this group of people who for ages I wanted to be a part of their clique but it never really worked out because I would get drunk and start getting emotional and killing peoples buzzes and not to mention I dated/hooked up with a few of them, so apparently I am the "town slut" or some shit, because I had casual relations with 2 or 3 people in a social circle.
It just makes me angry too...angry and depressed, seems like the story of my life.'
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Depression is a totally uninvited participant in a person's life. If another person is empathetic they can at least sense the tip of the iceberg in you but you are battling something on a scale they probably cannot imagine.The expression 'Pull yourself together' is sometimes directed at sufferers though for them there is no 'handle' to pull on. You have to be patient with yourself and use your inner strength, the remaining friends and Sparkle to overcome it