My father and I just got done talking on the phone for almost an hour, and to put this in perspective our phone conversations have never been more than 5-10 min. A month ago just before my birthday he found out my step mother and the woman he loves dearly had been cheating on him. Now without getting into a whole back story the relationship had been rocky lately due to her son being a little shit more often than not and he had considered taking a break with her until her son either grew up and stopped acting a fool or moved out. He didn't get much say in his life just because he was a mama's boy and would get anything he wanted so it created a rift in their marriage. But my dad still loved her and didn't want to separate forever, until he found out. The man's wife came and told him about it. He was utterly heart broken and until today I didn't realize how much. I'll be honest when I say I'm to tears about this. It breaks my heart to know that they are in this situation and that he hurts so bad. He opened up to me a lot and I could tell he needed it badly. I love my dad more than anything in this world and I wish I could do more for him but I'm half way across the world. If I were a better daughter I would call more. Hell I even forgot my mothers birthday a few days ago and only just called her. I probably wouldn't even have remembered it now had it not been for my ex being all butt hurt that I didn't wish her a happy bday either(its on the same day as my mom's). But thats a story for another day. My dad and step mom have been seeing each other every now and again to get things finalized and to talk. He was so angry and betrayed and needed to tell her his feelings about everything. They have even made love a couple of times since everything went down. They still love each other so much. My dad plans on keeping his distance for a while but he misses her like crazy and she still loves him and cares for him and misses him too. For the past two years they didn't touch, weren't affectionate because all it took for them was a caress and all there feelings for each other were there. The stress of their lives made it hard for them to cope so they just didn't deal with it. When they got together these few recent times he told me just holding her brought everything back for both of them. He doesn't know how he will ever trust her again and he doesn't know if keeping his distance will cause them to drift apart or if they will just miss each other all the more and want each other back but he misses her so much right now. It breaks my heart knowing he hurts so much.
And on to the girlfriend since this whole situation with my dad is bringing it up she recently wrote me saying she no longer had respect for me because I just pretended to care, because I "got over her" so easily. There are a lot of reasons we broke up, one being that she was possesive, jealous and angry and I can't live with that in my life. The others are complicated and even I am still unclear on them but I was the one to break up with her. And we tried to be friends but I realized that wouldn't work because she wasn't over me and the possesiveness and jealousy and drama were all still there so I decided that we should stay away from each other. She thinks that because I don't outwardly tell her or anyone else that I hurt or that I think of her a lot or that I miss here that it must all be fake and I never cared for her. I didn't wish her a happy bday because I forgot(and forgot my mothers too) but even if I knew I would have just left her alone and not brought it all up again because I want her to get over me. I need to get over her. I miss her but I don't want to spend my life like that. I don't want to spend it with that part of her so I can't spend it with her. It hurts though when she accuses me of not caring and says she doesn't respect me anymore. This has happened a few times with other relationships and I have a few people that hate me because of it(and because admittedly I wasn't a great girlfriend) but I learned a lot and have changed a lot and it hurts so much to think that she thinks the same way they do. It makes me feel like maybe I am shit and I hate thinking like that. I try to be kind and genourous and I like to be helpful and good but I don't know what to think when people legitimately hate me. I just can't stand it. :'(
And on to the girlfriend since this whole situation with my dad is bringing it up she recently wrote me saying she no longer had respect for me because I just pretended to care, because I "got over her" so easily. There are a lot of reasons we broke up, one being that she was possesive, jealous and angry and I can't live with that in my life. The others are complicated and even I am still unclear on them but I was the one to break up with her. And we tried to be friends but I realized that wouldn't work because she wasn't over me and the possesiveness and jealousy and drama were all still there so I decided that we should stay away from each other. She thinks that because I don't outwardly tell her or anyone else that I hurt or that I think of her a lot or that I miss here that it must all be fake and I never cared for her. I didn't wish her a happy bday because I forgot(and forgot my mothers too) but even if I knew I would have just left her alone and not brought it all up again because I want her to get over me. I need to get over her. I miss her but I don't want to spend my life like that. I don't want to spend it with that part of her so I can't spend it with her. It hurts though when she accuses me of not caring and says she doesn't respect me anymore. This has happened a few times with other relationships and I have a few people that hate me because of it(and because admittedly I wasn't a great girlfriend) but I learned a lot and have changed a lot and it hurts so much to think that she thinks the same way they do. It makes me feel like maybe I am shit and I hate thinking like that. I try to be kind and genourous and I like to be helpful and good but I don't know what to think when people legitimately hate me. I just can't stand it. :'(
jay_son:
It really sucks to see the ones you love hurting. I think that its special that your dad could talk to you about it for an hour no less. You showing that you care and worry that much about him proves that your not shit! I've always felt you couldn't help who you loved but who you love may not be who or what's best for you. You know that you loved her and in the end that's all that matters. If she can't see that you loved her then that's for her to deal with. Sounds like to me you did what you had to do for you. Remember stay positive and you will find someone that loves you as much as you love them.
underthesea:
Its good you had an ear for your dad. You should think about a visit maybe. Just saying. Also plug the bdays into your cell phone. Your ex is just being hurtful to you because she is hurting because she lost you. If I were you I won't worry to much. Its just part of her letting go. Well I hope I helped. Maybe I could steal Dr. Phils job? lol