soultoast

well there you go....I don't really know what to say at this moment. To tell the truth, I'm feeling a bit lonely. Yeah, I have friends. I have a girlfriend...yadda. None of them are here and I'm a bit out of the loop, so to speak. Today was today...as all days are becoming. It seems as though the big picture is never getting finished.

Wow...maybe I'm a little down.

Let me tell you about my girlfriend.
Her name is Kim. She is absolutely incredible. I mean in every way that I need somebody to be incredible...she's it. Simply amazing. She's dead cute, funny as hell, troubled by life in general.....and a perfect fit. Yep, a perfect fit.(get those minds out of the gutter)

Here's the problem...I'm not used to it. I'm completely accustomed to misery. I'm not anymore. I have everything that I've ever wanted...the problem?..I don't feel like I do enough. I'm so used to drowning myself in the misery, that it's difficult to mantain happy. Yeah, Yeah..you've heard it all before I'm sure....but there it is. Believe me, I am so very much in love with this girl...really. I am quite prepared to spend the rest of my days doing what I can to make her as happy as possible. The problem?...I don't quite remember how to make people happy. there you go...

So I just got through spending some time at the local pub. Not a good scene..not a good scene at all. No allies. It was really an experience that I didn't need...fuck...grrrr.

as always....

anyway. I'm at the point of just not knowing what to say.

IM me ...talk to me.....permission granted