soulessone

This is going to be a REAAALY long entry. Because it's interesting.

My friend, Danielle, got the oppurtunity to tour Trent Reznor's (of Nine Inch Nails, of course) house. She emailed me a description of the whole thing when I asked her to - and I thought I'd share it with you guys.

Heh. Rockstar digs. Muahahah. Yees.

Danielle says -
"Trent's house. His gas lamps were on in broad daylight which is expensive & stupid. Green painted verandah, no furniture out front.

The entrance hall is painted a dark red & marbleized. Pretty cool effect, actually. I liked it although a little dark. The staircase is right there when you walk in. It goes straight up. I did not go on the second floor.

The first front room had the Christmas tree in it. Real tree. Standard decorations, nothing out of the ordinary whatsoever. Looked like he bought them from Target, lots of lights, no gifts. Oriental carpet on the floor & a couple of uncomfortable looking chairs. Original medallions with a crystal chandelier. Tasseled, beaded tiffany lamp. There will be one in nearly every room, various sizes.

There are two "parlors". They are both basically in the same room with no wall to separate them. The one in the front, next to the front door is the media room. Lots of Asian doo dads. Buddha's, a dragon on top of an antique chest. A dark khaki green leather couch with a large square black table. The television is a flat screen against the wall. Overhead projector with a screen that comes down from the ceiling. Original fireplace at the side wall. Original artwork from "The Downward Spiral" on the wall above the fireplace. Heavy, heavy, heavy black velvet drapes with gold tassels. Several art books on table along with book titled, "Everything You Ever Learned Is Wrong" which Jane & I thought was funny. Big bowl of the most beautiful red roses I've ever seen on the mantelpiece. They look like they are made of red velvet.There will be red roses in nearly every room.

Second parlor. Another dark khaki green leather couch, backed up to the one in the front parlor. This, I assume is that is supposed to create the illusion of two different rooms. Original artwork for the "I'm Afraid Of Americans" cd, drawn by David Bowie. More heavy duty black velvet draperies with gold tassels. Pretty in December but wouldn't be pleasant in August. Faded, frayed Oriental carpet. Fireplace with tapestry Christmas stocking hanging from it that says, "Santa's Favorite Dog" on it.. Two tacky tapestry pillows on couch with a flower design that looks a great deal like Pac Man. Two large velvet tapestry looking pillows on floor next to the fireplace. A brass hookah in the corner. More red roses. A really cool painting done in black & gold with a blurry sheet music motif. A large pecan round table in the center of the room with a enormous silver hookah in the center. A large garish painting of a Spanish looking woman, modern.

Music room. Large black baby grand piano in center of the room with a stiff looking antique chair sitting next to it, tapestry cushions. Light blue/green paint on walls with a rough surface that looks like sponge painting. Not good. A cream colored thick carpet on the floor. A dark red/rust colored leather couch against the wall. Big stereo unit & speakers. Built in shelving with framed family photographs. More Asian doo dads. And the Grammys are on the top shelf. Sheet music on piano is classical, nothing I've heard of & I doubt if he's ever played it.

Dining room is long & narrow. More heavy velvet curtains. A 12 person table, dark wood, looked like maple. The chairs are monk's chairs. Heavy on the carving on the back. Stiff cushions. You wouldn't linger over dinner in these chairs. Asian china, heavy & beautiful. Off brand crystal. Heavy silver. Modern chandelier with bowl filled with red roses. Ornate Asian antique sideboard, heavy lattice work carving in sideboard's cupboards. More original artwork from TDS on the wall. Stunningly ugly if you ask me. An antique mirror hanging on the wall.

Breakfast room. Entirely different from the rest of the house. Completely done in Haitian art, Large Haitian paintings hanging on the wall. More casual. Wood ceiling fan. Bright colors. Lots of Haitian collectibles in the cabinet on the wall. Bright & pretty. All courtesy of Denise from Haiti.

Kitchen. Amazingly small. All black appliances, all older & fairly run down. Stove located on the island with a older range. Stainless steel double sink, unremarkable faucet. Black 'fridge. Older oven, sized smaller than usual. A fair sized turkey wouldn't fit in it. The broiler was semi damaged. Looked like it had caught on fire at some point. Tiny tiny microwave. Looks cheap enough where it would take 10 minutes to pop corn in it. Little shelf under it, crammed with junk, including Emeril's spice & two ceramic pigs fucking. (I assume they were salt & pepper shakers). A really cool spiked thing hanging from the ceiling with good pots & pans hanging on it. Small pantry next to the oven. Larger closets/cabinets across from island. Good carpentry, poor quality wood. Another wood ceiling fan. Voodoo art work on a wall. Two walk ways from the kitchen into the second parlor. One is a bathroom. One is a bar. Unimpressive glassware, no booze visible. Small sink, lots of cabinets. Dark. Photographs of.....I don't know what that was but they were framed & on the wall. Second staircase upstairs at the back of the kitchen. Large plant at bottom of staircase.

French double doors leading out to the patio. Unbelievably tiny. Shitty patio furniture in dark greens that have seen better days. A tall patio table with tall chairs up against the house. Flying stone gargoyle on the ground. The tiniest jacuzzi I have ever seen in my life. I didn't even know why he bothered. My mother's bathtub is bigger. And the pool, good god almighty. I guess you call it a lap pool. It is a somewhat long rectangle. No shallow area in it, its all deep & nasty looking. It is maybe the length of a car & a half. Maybe. I don't know why anyone bothered with this either. There are two stone lion's heads that have water coming out of their mouths into the pool. The pool needed a good cleaning. Lots of shitty looking plants. There is a verandah upstairs with three massive pots of ferns hanging from the overhang. More patio furniture but didn't get a good look at it. Cheap wooden wind chimes.

The garage was a scream. The back of it which is accessible from the pool area does not have a wall any longer. Just a heavy black piece of material. I didn't look in. The side of the garage is almost completely rotted, probably from New Orleans' infamous starving, aggressive termites. They have feasted to the point where I'm surprised it's still standing. Two fairly new forest green garage doors.

The yard is a mess of poorly maintained vegetation. The house itself has clearly been pressure cleaned but the yards are wrecks. Whatever he's paying his garden service is too much. They aren't earning their money.

All the rooms were super small with the exception of the double parlor. The dining room was amazingly tiny. So was the kitchen. It's roughly the same size as mine in my townhouse. The house looks so enormous from the outside, I was literally stunned to see the size of the rooms. It wasn't half as tacky as I was expecting although as I said before, I think heavy velvet draperies in a house where the humidity is so high 90% of the year is a real poor idea & only makes the house seems stuffy. I really preferred the Haitian areas. It had a lighter, island feel to it & was put together very well. Plus it was the only area of the house that felt lived in. I wasn't impressed with his Oriental carpets & they need some salvaging work if he plans to keep them another ten years. I was impressed with his china. It was beautiful & very unique but if I invested that kind of cash in china & heavy silver, I would have invested in Waterford or Steuben crystal stemware. No sign of the dog's residence except for the Christmas stocking.

~Danielle."

Too funny. Just had to share.