soulblackened

I made a very grave mistake about 5 days ago.. I took two pills of extacsy in a fit of depression and i came within an inch of death.. This experience has changed my life forever. It was great for like 20 minutes, i felt like i could do anything, be anyone, i felt like a goddess.. like the happiest feeling like an 11 year old girl again, before i found out all the horrors of the real world before my innocence was lost... then my head felt all fuzzy and floaty i bit my lip till it bled, i closed my eyes and everything went black as i rocked back and forth, then i saw my friend Melanies face, my friend who was murdered 4 months ago..... i saw her lips whispering somethin i could not hear.... then something inside my head popped and with a snaoplike the snap of fingers my eyes flared open and i knew something was wrong, the buzzing stopped and i felt so weird, i was instantly coherent again but i felt my heart racing, i felt like any second my heart would stop, i got really hot and then i got ice cold my friends skin felt fiery to me, i could literally feel the heat leaving my body i was terrified, i could feel my body shutting down and i started trying to fight it, and i my eyes got so heavy i just wanted to sleep.. i knew if i did i wouldnt wake up.. my friends were shaking me and tryin to keep me up, i could feel myself dying! i cant even describe it to the extent i felt.. i kept seeing my little boys face and my boyfriends and kept fighting it and after about 2 hours it started to subside and i knew eventually id be okay. Never again will i tempt fate like that... i learned so much that nite.. i want to be there for my son.. iam still depressed yes but wow... i have something to live for..