Well now for another update for all interested parties 
--It's official now my brother is going to have to have surgery---It's been over 2 weeks since he was admitted the longest since 4 years ago when he almost bled to death--They have to take out about 8 (and possibly more) inches of his small intestine--All of us are very scared even though we knew he would eventually have surgery such as this--But that doesn't take any of the fear away and though he hides it well my brother is scared shitless as well---So now all we can do is be there for him and pray the surgery goes well because if it does it may put the Crohn's Disease into remission which in turn will hopefully give back his life--Of course this is the best case scenario and we figure it will probably end up somewhere in the middle--He only wieghs about 100 lbs right now and being almost 6 feet tall you can imagine how emaciated he looks--Looking at him hurts--He's my baby brother and he should be out doing what other men his age do--Living,loving,laughing,and enjoying fatherhood--As for me my sleep cycle is so screwy I'm awake at almost all hours of the day if your able to catch me lol--I start physical therapy next week and while I'm excited there is some trepidation inside of me because I know how much it's gonna hurt--And I'm so tired of hurting *sigh*--My writing is off kilter but below is my newest--Hope you all enjoy--Anyways my sis is now a proud member of SG haha--Her SG alias is "phechaos"--She's a lot like me but she definitely has her own personality --Gotta love her lol--So I'll end here now when I have something more to say (the words aren't flowing just yet)--Thank you to all of my friends for their comments and support--It's very much appreciated especially on bad days 
lol--And here it is another poem.....
I huddle atop this small hill,a temporary refuge
And at my feet lies the carnage of my life
So many pieces,I wonder sadly what I have left inside
But here now I decree I will no longer
Be shackled,by your cruel subterfuge
You whispered in my ear and I believed
That it was my fate,it was my due
To bleed for you as you forced your pain into
my life
And how could my innocence endure your hate and your lessons of humility?
It was mine,it was fucking mine you thoughtless creature
Your excuses fail and die in the light of day
So let the wind erase you from my memory
And the scars of your malevolent kiss
I was overwhelmed when I sat in your shadow
And though you still exist I shout into the bedlam
of my life "What you thought you destroyed has
triumphed to survive in the hail of your storm"
And now I can see the pitiful remnants of you
Contrary to the image you had once forced on to me
And now perhaps I can stand and reclaim
The staggering and infinite beauty
Of the child who survived with such ageless grace
Lexi
FractalTelepathy@aol.com
--It's official now my brother is going to have to have surgery---It's been over 2 weeks since he was admitted the longest since 4 years ago when he almost bled to death--They have to take out about 8 (and possibly more) inches of his small intestine--All of us are very scared even though we knew he would eventually have surgery such as this--But that doesn't take any of the fear away and though he hides it well my brother is scared shitless as well---So now all we can do is be there for him and pray the surgery goes well because if it does it may put the Crohn's Disease into remission which in turn will hopefully give back his life--Of course this is the best case scenario and we figure it will probably end up somewhere in the middle--He only wieghs about 100 lbs right now and being almost 6 feet tall you can imagine how emaciated he looks--Looking at him hurts--He's my baby brother and he should be out doing what other men his age do--Living,loving,laughing,and enjoying fatherhood--As for me my sleep cycle is so screwy I'm awake at almost all hours of the day if your able to catch me lol--I start physical therapy next week and while I'm excited there is some trepidation inside of me because I know how much it's gonna hurt--And I'm so tired of hurting *sigh*--My writing is off kilter but below is my newest--Hope you all enjoy--Anyways my sis is now a proud member of SG haha--Her SG alias is "phechaos"--She's a lot like me but she definitely has her own personality --Gotta love her lol--So I'll end here now when I have something more to say (the words aren't flowing just yet)--Thank you to all of my friends for their comments and support--It's very much appreciated especially on bad days lol--And here it is another poem.....
I huddle atop this small hill,a temporary refuge
And at my feet lies the carnage of my life
So many pieces,I wonder sadly what I have left inside
But here now I decree I will no longer
Be shackled,by your cruel subterfuge
You whispered in my ear and I believed
That it was my fate,it was my due
To bleed for you as you forced your pain into
my life
And how could my innocence endure your hate and your lessons of humility?
It was mine,it was fucking mine you thoughtless creature
Your excuses fail and die in the light of day
So let the wind erase you from my memory
And the scars of your malevolent kiss
I was overwhelmed when I sat in your shadow
And though you still exist I shout into the bedlam
of my life "What you thought you destroyed has
triumphed to survive in the hail of your storm"
And now I can see the pitiful remnants of you
Contrary to the image you had once forced on to me
And now perhaps I can stand and reclaim
The staggering and infinite beauty
Of the child who survived with such ageless grace
Lexi
FractalTelepathy@aol.com
VIEW 14 of 14 COMMENTS
jenigurl23:
my thoughts are with your brother. i wish him and u the best. he sounds like a strong man.
quasi_sean:
very much update time for you. 