soraya

its amazing the ways that you learn who you can and cannot trust. when youre fool heartedly going along thinking you know this difference already and something comes along and smacks you right across the face. wakeup call.

i cryptically used this space as one of my own to vent emotions that had exploded as a result of something recent involving me and one other person. i never intended to hurt anyone, and quite frankly, assumed that it would never even be stumbled upon by that particular person. it saddens me to know that there are those who i had nothing but openhearted warmth towards who, not having anything to do with this situation, have taken it upon themselves to intentionally paw through the emotions of my life and drag them out into other arenas that are completely unnecessary and unwarranted. boundaries. personal and professional. you took one and spewed it into the other.

i dont hide my feelings. they are real and i am not ashamed of them. --this is a journal, is it not?-- i tried and tried to understand the motives behind what you did with my emotions, and, in the end, i just cant even begin to fathom any sort of good intentions or reasoning.

the feeling of violation leaves a bad taste in my mouth and an indescribable weight in my heart.

and i wish that i could cryptically apologize to the only one i feel remorse for possibly hurting through all this shit... but i won't even waste the time.... i love you- i'm sorry.