soraya

why is it always so hard to make rent each month.
once again i've spent virtually all my money until the next paycheck.
i thought i learned this years ago. shit.

new years eve i danced on top of the bar.
walked in the rain in a miniskirt. ended up with sopping wet legwarmer sponges and freezing cold thighs. mellow houseparty, good friends, laughter, and rum.

watched the movie midnight cowboy. i love it. if you havent seen it, do it.

two nights ago i went to a super secret hush-hush outdoor hot tub in the back of someones yard. its surrounded by huge redwood trees. its just there for others to use, BUT the premise is that you have to know someone who knows the secret code to get in and you have to be completely utterly silent. no words at all.
its amazing. sitting there in that moment i came to realize how much mindless useless chatter is in my brain that i, like others, spew out all the time. about how much content is not even worth opening your mouth to talk. how much noise we make in order to fill in the void.

you think a whole hell of a lot more when you're forced to be silent. you savor time and value your thoughts so much more. words just become so much more valuable.

and yesterday i went to the original conservatory of flowers. and i fell in love with these creatures. after being closed for damage for years i finally was able to go to this fucking amazing completely glass enclosed building. the architecture itself was breathtaking. now i want a house filled with tropical carnivorous plants and orchids.

tonight is sushi.