sonofapunk

What have I done wrong that I should be sorry?
You broke my heart you left in no hurry.
What I'm sorry for is all those wasted days...
And all those wasted ways that I loved you.

What didn't I do that made you want to leave me?
My life was so full now it seems so empty.
What I didn't do is love you every night ,
Like I wanted to be alive if I couldn't love you...

Well I'll find another before this night's over.
She may not be you, I might not be sober.
But I'll make love with her until the morning light...
Thinking all the while how I could love you...

Now what have I done wrong that I should be sorry?
What have I done wrong that I should be sorry?
What have I done wrong?
What have I done wrong... That I should be sorry?
...I should be sorry.

The song I just quoted is fucking beautiful. And it hits me like a bullet to my stomach when I hear it. It's pretty blunt, and I'm sure it's meant to be that way, because it fulfilled its purpose on me. It tweeks emotions. Triggers memory. Incites feeling.

"Well I'll find another before this night's over.
She might not be you, I might not be sober..."

I've come to terms with who and what I am. Did I do something stupid? Nope.

But who's to say what is stupid? Who is to judge. I don't feel like I do anything wrong when history repeats itself, time and time again, sometimes many times an evening, sometimes with more than one person. I can sleep at night if this history continues to repeat itself for the rest of my life. In fact, it might make me sleep better, if you know what I mean...

The only thing I feel bad for in any situation like this is when one person just simply cannot let go of the fact that the world happens each day, with or without them. I don't like hurting anyone's feelings. Ever. So that, right there, makes things complicated. But still, I'll do what I'm gonna do anyhow. Difference is, in this situation, is it's followed by an awkward conversation, a few tears, and even fewer chuckles.

Not that I did anything. Would I normally? Yes. Have I yet? Not this time. Do I want to? I don't know.

All I know is who and what I am.

...

Hmmmm...



In other news...

We played our first show. First time I played live. We didn't do too well by our own standards, but according to everyone else that heard us, we fucking killed. We got a high demand for more now... One show and we're big shots... Haha. I saw it coming. You can always feel these sorts of things.

Unfortunately, yet fortunately, some dumbasses recorded us... (My little brother, coincidentally!) Which means, hooray for something we have done being recorded for people to enjoy... But the three of us have sat there and shitkicked ourselves with a shit-eating grin for all our little mistakes. "Everyone is their own harshest critic." It's fucking true. But hey, they more we dwell, the better we'll be next time, right? Even thought we sucked compared to our own standards, we still had so much fun, we made people dance, skank and mosh and scream and sing and smile. I couldn't have asked for a better crowd... I made alot of friends that night.

I am happy.






Live. Love.

- You Know Who The Fuck I Am.