sonofapunk

Happy Saint Fucking Patricks Motherfucking Day...

I'm fucking serious, when I mean I'm not coming back.

I'm gonna get so drunk, I'm going to fall off...

I'm REALLY going to fall off...

Want to hear some of the shit I'll be slurring tonight?

Here you go...

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I play in a band, we're the best in the land
We're big in both Chelsea and France
I play one mean guitar and then score at the bar
There's a line of chicks waiting for their chance
So come on now honey, I'll make you feel pretty
These other gals mean nothing to me
Let's finish these drinks and be gone for the night
"Cause I'm more than a handful, you'll see

So kiss me I'm shitfaced
I'm soaked I'm soiled and brown
In the trousers, she kissed me
And I only bought her one round

So kiss me I'm shitfaced
I'm soaked I'm soiled and brown
In the trousers, she kissed me
And I only bought her one round

I can bench-press a car, I'm an ex-football star
With degrees from both Harvard and Yale
Girls just can't keep uo, I'm a real love machine
I've had far better sex while in jail!
I've designed the Sears Tower, I make two grand an hour
I cook the world's best Duck Flambe
I'll take the pick of the litter, girls jockey for me
I don't need these lines to get laid

So kiss me I'm shitfaced
I'm soaked I'm soiled and brown
In the trousers, she kissed me
And I only bought her one round

I'm a man of the night, a real ladies delight
See my figure was chiseled from stone
One more for the gal then I'll escort her home
Come last call I'm never alone
I've a house on the hill with a red waterbed
That puts Hugh Heffner's mansion to shame
With girls by the pool and Italian sports cars
I'm just here in this dump for the game...

So kiss me I'm shitfaced
I'm soaked I'm soiled and brown
In the trousers, she kissed me
And I only bought her one round

I'm a pitiful sight, and I ain't all that bright
I'm definitely not chiseled from stone
I'm a cheat and a liar, no woman's desire
I'll probably die cold and alone...
...but just give me a chance, 'cause deep down inside
I swear I've got a big heart of gold
I'm a monogamous man, no more one night stands
Come on honey, let me take you home.

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You'll have to excuse me, I'm not at my best
I've been gone for a month, I've been drunk since I left
These so-called vacations will soon be my death
I'm so sick from the drink I need home for a rest.

We arrived in December and London was cold
We stayed in the bars along Charing Cross Road
We never saw nothin' but brass taps and oak
Kept a shine on the bar with the sleeves of our coats

CHORUS:
You'll have to excuse me, I'm not at my best
I've been gone for a week
I've been drunk since I left
And these so-called vacations
Will soon be my death
I'm so sick from the drink
I need home for a rest
Take me home....

Euston Station the train journey North
In the buffet car we lurched back and forth
Past old crooked dykes through Yorkshire's green fields
We were flung into dance as the train jigged and reeled

By the light of the moon, she'd drift through the streets
A rare old perfume, so seductive and sweet
She'd tease us and flirt, as the pubs all closed down
Then walk us on home and deny us a round

You'll have to excuse me, I'm not at my best
I've been gone for a month
I've been drunk since I left
And these so-called vacations
Will soon be my death
I'm so sick from the drink
I need home for a rest
Take me home....

The gas heater's empty, it's damp as a tomb
The spirits we drank now ghosts in the room
I'm knackered again, come on sleep take me soon
And don't lift up my head 'till the the twelve bells at noon

You'll have to excuse me, I'm not at my best
I've been gone for a month
I've been drunk since I left
And these so-called vacations
Will soon be my death
I'm so sick from the drink
I need home for a rest
Take me home....

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You got your hair permed,
You got your red dress on,
Screamin that second gear was such a turn-on.

And the fog forming on my window
Tells me that the mornings here
And youll be gone before too long...

Who taught you those new tricks?
Damn, I shouldnt start that talk...
But life is one big question when your starin at the clock.

...and the answers always waiting at the liqour store 40oz to freedom
So I take that walk

And I know that
Ooohhh.... Im not goin back
Ohhh, not going back
Ohh, God knows, Im not going back
Oooohhhh, not goin

(hey man, anyone wanna make a run down to am/pm with me? its like quarter-to right
Now bro. shit, can you like, loan me like, a buck or two dude? jai said he was gonna be
Here around 2:00 I havnt even seen him. just totally broke, man owes me twenty
Bucks man. get over it, fuck, sorry! Im not dealin with that fuckin chince no more.
Take those bottles back eric? )

And you look so fine
When you lie, it just dont show
But I know which way the wind blows

A 40oz to freedom is the only chance I have
To feel good even though I feel bad

And I know that
Ooohhh... Im not goin back
Ohh, Im not goin back
Ohh, God knows, Im not going back
Ohhh, im... not goin

Ooohhh....Im not goin back
Ohh, Im not goin back
Ohh, God knows, Im not going back
Ohhh, im...not goin

I got a whole one left in the freezer

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Have you ever stopped to think about what rats do for fun?
Sure they crawl around and scurry,
yeah they're always on the run but a rat sure likes a good time
just like you and me
I'll prove it with a tale about a rat-infested brewery

It started with a little lad named vermin McCann
who fell upon a drink that made him feel like quite a man
he gathered up his furry boys,
though some wore a frown
they quickly changed their tune and they slammed a couple down.

Chorus:
One, two, one-two-three-four!
Come on all you good rats
we'll send you to heaven you'll find the pearly gates in the froth and the foam
'cause in these vats you've made quite a creation
a potion that turned the Guinness to gold!

Like mice behind a piper,
rats from all around soon headed for this factory in old Dublin Town.
They surely heard the news about this fancy new rat-brew they come,
they saw, they had a taste and knocked back a few

The rats were in a tizzy
addicted to the bone the hairy lugs were giddy
they were never going home
like a bunch of drunken pirates prepared to walk the plank they drank,
they sang, they took a plunge and in the beer they sank!

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When you grab a hold of me
You tell me that I'll never be set free
I'm a parasite,
creep and crawl I step into the night.
Two pints of booze
Tell me are you a badfish too? Are you a badfish too?
Ain't got no money to spend
I know the night will never end
Lord knows I'm weak
Won't somebody get me off of this reef

Baby your a big blue whale
Grab the reef when all duck diving fails
I swim but wish I never learned
The water's too polluted with germs
I dive deep when it's ten feet overhead
Grab the reef underneath my bed
Ain't got no quarrels with god Ain't got no time to grow old
Lord knows I'm weak
Won't somebody get me off of this reef

Ain't got no quarrels with God Ain't got no time to grow old
Lord knows I'm weak
Won't somebody get me off of this reef

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I don't drink too often.

But when I do.

I drink to not come back.

And I'm gonna fall off.

I swear I fucking am.

Be safer than me, lovelies!

Fuck tryin' to remember! Let's drink to forget!Live. Love.
- PunkerSlut