Thursday Oct 19, 2006

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Well, I'm gonna get all the redundant shit out of the way, and then I'm going to rant on and on and fucking on about how we ended, because a lot of people are asking, and I'm yet to vent in a creative/expressive manner. So here goes:

The new fucking Deftones fucking slays. Every song reminds me of someone I've met within the last two weeks.

I'm part of a new group of friends and it feels awesome. I got more in common with one person right now than I ever have in my life. It's something special.

I think I'm gonna slap a few pictures here and there, I might not. I might just put them in a folder. I don't know.

I got fired. Which is bullshit. I was a slacker, yeah. But then they warned me. And I snapped into place and became the hardest worker there. I was working at 330%. I wasn't necessarily just working harder, but smarter as well and did exceptionally well. Then out of fucking nowhere, I get another warning for talking. I tell them it's bullshit because I have killer tonsilitis and it hurts to breathe. "Well, that's your opinion." What?! Hahahaha! Bullshit! They say "Well, we don't mind if you talk as long as your numbers are up." My numbers were fucking sailing, sales were at a record high, I was number... fucking... one in Canada for sales (ratio, mind you. One mens pricer's numbers against men's sales, and at other stores it goes two ways, whatever the fuck - I was number one.) Then on Friday, they fuckin' call me into the office.

"Christoph, we have reports that one team members exposed themselves last night during cleanup, to another team member. Would you like to tell us what you know about this?"
"What?! Like nudity-exposed?!"
"Possibly... You tell us."
"Well I sure as hell didn't expose myself, and I didn't see any exposure. So..."
"And that's the story you're sticking with?"
"Yes!"
"Alright, that'll be all..."

And I go back to work. On my way out, manager one to manager two goes "That's not gonna work."

Twenty minutes later, and not one word spoken. I get called into the office again.

"Nevermind about that other thing Christoph, we settled that. But now we'd like to talk to you about your disruptiveness in the production room. You talk too much. We warned you once. We warned you again. And still your voice and vulgarity are beyond anyone's here. We can't have it, and since you're on probation, we're going to terminate your employment here. Please give me all your gear. And we'll walk you to your locker."

I didn't say a single word. But the look on my face and the way I was standing, I suppose, made them say "Please don't make us call the cops". Good to know I got the fear in them. They didn't think the nicest, friendliest guy in the store could also be this pissed off. The fuckin' screwed me. I talked the fucking LEAST in the whole fucking store because of my tonsils-touching-eachother. I didn't fucking talk. And when I did it was fucking work related. And the whole able-to-talk-as-long-as-you're-productive-thing? My numbers for a single person were number fucking one out of 220 stores in this country! Sales were fuckin' top fuckin' notch! I was breaking fucking records. Still, they canned me. They fucking canned me. Vulgarity?! What the FUCK?! The only thing I spoke about was work and every now and then a chuckle or two at another persons jokes, usually vulgar. Usually pretty fucking vulgar. As a matter of fact, as much as I liked some of the girls there, the majority of them were THE most vulgar people I've met. I was the only male on the "team". I am young and stupid, and the people I work with, all being females, obviously poked fun and teased me. But if I want... "Sexual Harassment" instead of fun. "Discrimination" instead of teasing. But did I? No. Because I thought we fuckin' enjoyed eachother. But fucking someone somewhere sold me the fuck out. They knew whatever reason they told me was bullshit. They weren't telling me the truth. I've been canned a number of times for several reasons and I know for a fact that when they "let you go" they make you sign papers saying you know why. I didn't get this luxury. Isn't that illegal? I'm looking into taking legal action.

I'm really good friends with some of the girls I worked with. They're telling me of rumours flying around.

Rumour one: Christoph got fired because he was still on probation and it was now or never. He was working way harder and more productive than the boss's sister who was on his level, and the boss' mother-in-law, also at his level. He talked at first, but smartened up after a warning and was a model worker. So they took the only half-assed excused they could have found and ran with it. He was one of the few people that didn't suck dick and brown nose and hang out with management after work and listen to country music and all bow-the-fuck-down to management, begging for "the quirks" of being friends with them. Of which there were many.

Rumour two: Christoph slept with too many employees. They knew Christoph was friends with many of the younger more attractive girls in the store, and they didn't like this. It has been heard that he had sex with several female employees in the womens washroom in the employees-lounge. This is unacceptable behavior and ends in termination.

I never fucking gave them any reason to think that. Did I? That's none of their fucking business. If I did it wouldn't have been on store-grounds. I needed that job and I did nothing to fuck it up. I was close friends with several of them, yeah, but it's fucking lame to assume shit like that. We flirted a little at work. So fucking what? I'm allowed to do that as much as I fucking want. It wasn't crude and it wasn't obnoxious. I didn't give them ANY REASON to think that I'm sleeping with employees there. If they somehow found out that I did, say, two at the same time, several times over... and then another two at the same time two days later, several times over (hahaha, yeah... so what? love ) who fucking cares?! Seriously. It's not fuckin' harming anyone. We're ALL still REALLY good fucking friends and it's not like anyones feelings got hurt and it did not disrupt a single aspect of work. Fuck them.

Anyhow...

One of my new best friends is one of the raddest people I've ever come to meet... And said friend's father is hooking me up, or friend is going to hook me up, because they're both rather immersed in the film industry. I'm so excited for this. love It's a new feeling of dreams coming true...

Plans for moving out are fuckin' skewed due to breaking up with you-know-who and lack of job at this moment.

Well... I guess I better vent...

DO NOT READ THE FOLLOWING IF YOU DON'T LIKE LOUD RANTS ON DRAMA!

SPOILERS! (Click to view)


I'm not one to dish out every little detail of drama. It's my fucking life. But way too many people are asking why it happened and whatnot. I suppose I could only give you my side of the story. I know some of the things she's said to me about this, and she pretty much agrees. So fuck it. Here goes.

She was the one who fucking fought for me. She lost me. She fought for me. She fucked up. She fixed it. Time and time again. I know how to forgive, but I never forget. I was putting 200% into this relationship, because I was pretty much the only one there. It's heavy shit when you gotta put all the effort into it.

It came down to the night where I almost overdosed on drugs I didn't know where in my drink (I don't fuck with chemicals (refer to previous posts)), for me to open my eyes. I almost fucking died. I needed consolation. I needed attention. I needed affection. It was the scariest thing that's ever happened to me. I needed to talk to someone. I needed mental rest. I needed someone to hold me.

Now don't get me wrong, I'm not a fucking needy person. But this is one of maybe a handful of times in my life where I absolutely needed to feel loved. I almost fucking died for fuck sakes.

And guess who the only person who wouldn't talk to me was?

I tried so fucking hard. For the next three days I needed to fucking tell her what happened. She ended up finding out through other people, beyond a week later. And this supposed to be the person I'm in love with?

So I took a step back and evaluated my situation. Turns out it was a lot better than I thought. Since work was consuming all of my time, and all of her time, I never really assumed anything was wrong other than a drastix schedule difference. Besides, relationships can survive those with ease, right? ...Right?

Turns out no. She stopped calling me "her boyfriend". I, out of nowhere, became "her friend Chris". When we talked about this, she "thought nothing of it, and didn't really mean it badly". Which is a whole lot worse, because it means it was such a subconscious thought. If she put thought into it at all, she could have at least given me reasons and justified this course of action. But no. She doesn't think. Just acts.

One thing about this girl, she's a very set, predictable person in how she acts and thinks. Not necessarily a bad thing at all. But one of her quirks is that there is either 100% or nothing at all. There are no levels of relationships, it's either practically-married or nothing at all. There is no calling you every now and then, it's either call you once a month when she's drunk or nothing at all. There is no middle-grounds. I don't even think she means to do this on purpose. I think it's more of a personality trait that she doesn't even notice.

That's kind of tough for me. I acknowledge each individual and situation as a completely new one, and take it for what it is. Where as with her it's one way or another. Always. It's hard to explain, really.

But I guess our work schedules didn't add up. And that lead to either of us not being able to give what we once considered "100%". We went to highschool together, came out together, and now we were starting our lives together. I guess I have to assume here, but it's an educated assumption (based on things she's said to me), but since we weren't able to wake up with eachother everyday, call eachother everyday, hang out with eachother everyday, and go to sleep with eachother everyday like we were once used to, I guess she basically thought we were nothing. If she didn't, then she must have thought we were at least not worth working/fighting for.

Sucks pretty bad. Every year of my life that ends in "teen" belonged to this beautiful woman. And now she's done with it.

Hmmmm... Maybe one day. Maybe never. I wish it were so simple as knowing. That's life, I suppose.

I'm gonna miss the little lady.

Well, we talked about it. And we decided to remain friends. I don't know about you, but my "friends" at least give a shit about me and would like to hear my voice every now and then. But again, this probably has something to do with that whole "100% or nothing" complex. I don't fucking know.

So yeah, pretty much hitting it up single.

(I can go on, and on and on and on, but that's basically the gist of it. That's all that you need to, but not really need to know, type thing. I'm done.)

Fuck it. I'll live. I always do. Invincible. Hero. Live. Love.



Now that that's out there... And done with, I can move on.

I guess after all that garbage, I owe you some eyecandy. Not much of that around here lately. Usually when the fun shit happens I'm too busy immersing myself in it to take pictures or videos.

That video that's out there where I fucked up a gangster, is being put onto a DVD. I want the video now so I can share it with you guys. I'm greedy like that. It was a good fight. Punk versus gangster. Punk wins. Those are my favourite fights.

I'm in "Alternative Lifestyle Erotica". Illegally. That's all I'm going to say about that.

I started a band. So far we're like "F-Minus" meets "Horrorpops" meets our own little style. Tomorrow we jam with a new girl on guitar. It's fucking fun! smile Once I get some recorded, I'll play it for you on here! Don't expect a good recording, this is punk rock. Tape recorder quality at BEST, I assure you. Haha! biggrin In the past three days we've written about 5 or 6 songs, and clash so fucking well. I just met our guitarist on day two of jamming, and I just met the drummer a few weeks ago when he took part in saving me from said overdose. He's a gnarly motherfucker. And tomorrow we have a new guitarist trying out with us. She's rad. smile

Oooooooh shit! So excited!

More couples I know are breaking up as the days go on. I'm gonna miss them as a package. All of 'em.

Fright Night tomorrow! (CANCELLED BECAUSE MICHELLE AND HANNAH ARE BITCHES! Kidding.)

love biggrin

I'm losing it. I've been in and out of my house like 6 times since I've started writing this, so I better just end it all, and get on with lame pictures. They're nothing special, but they sure as fuck ain't more text!

Haha!

Emily


Kirstie


Josephiend


Ashley


Bonnie Bones


Party (Bonnie Bones and Robin and Josephiend to the far left)


Bonnie Bones


Kara and Meagan


Robin and Bonnie Bones


Kara and Kara


Madame Sindi


Madame Sindi


SV


SV


Josephiend


Kylie


Kylie


Josephiend


Kara


Ninja Kara


Sadie (Refer to previous entry)


Brayden


Andrew


Secondrate Rejects (Here ya go, Willie!)


Alley


Dolly Kara


Kitty Alley and Kitty Kara


Kylie


Josephiend and Kara




I showed you a few of the shiny girls I know. Fuck off now. You can't say it wasn't worth the read. tongue

Pretend you're with us in some of those photographs, even! Hangin' out, drinkin', jammin', sexin', gettin' totally rad...

You're more than welcome to. smile

Thanks for the ear, SG-Folk! Always a pleasure! Take care!

Live. Love. PunkerSlut.
skull

VIEW 25 of 40 COMMENTS
tipyngdi50rd3r:
duuuuuuuuuuude
i was lookin at you sgburlesque pics...YOUR HAIR IS STILL SOO BADASSS..
you shoul dbe like an action hero/figure or something....your poses and the hair are magical!

elgrandragon:
dud i hope that filming job works out... and hope you're doing well.. but i can see you will friends always help there!

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