I'm back like a vertabrae motherfuckers!
FUNFACT: When I was about 5 years old, I was one of those take-lots-of-Flinstones-vitamins kids. Apparently they were keeping me strong and healthy. I asked my mom why I had to take vitamins. She said that it would make me strong and live longer... What?! It made perfect sense! All I had to do was slam the whole bottle, and BAM! I was fucking unstoppable, nobody would be able to escape my wrath... A hella-frothy mouth, and 2 hours of convulsing later, I get my stomach pumped and learn a really healthy lesson in life... (But to be honest, it still doesn't make much sense to me... One pill, one day, little bit stronger... Many pills, one day, crippling pain?! Whatever... Haha!)
Well, my bout with depression is officially fucking over, even though some depressing events are still underway.
You guys curious? Ask Amberlie, she was my shit-filter (you know, where you bleed your heart on someone so much, that they hear all the garbage and have to put up with your stressful bullshit? Yeah, go over there and thank her for me!
). She's fucking gnarly. I heart that girl.
So yeah, I endured the biggest wave of bad things this past month... In point form, I guess I could go through it all...
- Some bitch played Yoko and broke up my band.
- All of my closest friends fell victim to one man's deceit, and all took turns stabbing me in the back.
- I renovated my social life as a result of previous point.
- I found out who my true friends are.
- Work has been trying to can me for false accusations.
- Some people wanted my blood.
- Work's switching me over to graveyards (not a bad thing, just a drastic change of pace).
- I get called in for surgery, just 2 weeks before my date.
- My bass breaks.
- My clothes fall apart.
- Persons who owe me over 600 dollars (collectiveley) fuck right off.
- Work tries to can me for having a mohawk.
- One "friend", met my other friend, and harsh took advantage of her.
- I got like 6 hours of sleep from March 19th to March 27th.
- I've been broke as a joke, and thus, starving.
- My plans to move into a new house with people I really care for backfire in my face, and result in yet another backstab.
- (I'm one of 10 punk kids in my little town, and I'm 6-and-a-half-feet-tall, and stand out like herpes on an albino, so) I'm kind of a reject-celebrity and anybody who knows me here, which is basically everybody, falls victim to lies, stories, tales and exaggerations of negative quality put out by some "friends" with alterior motives.
- I fought several viral infections all at once (brought on by stress). Sinus infection, one-eye infection, an ear infection followed by an other-ear-infection, tonsilitis, an inner-ear-infection (I get infected in ears I didn't even know I had!), and then a bronchial infection.
- In my state of poor physical health, my closest loved ones (excluding family), decide to have a quasi-intervention for me, (where I was not allowed to speak) and they all take turns calling me a terrible person due to rumours they heard about me that were not true. I was not able to defend myself in any which way.
- I couldn't afford spraypaint, which is my medium of choice when I am stressed out. I fuck this town up.
- The girl I've been in love with for 6 years thought I was a whore, a liar, a cheater, a thief, and a munipulative asshole... All because of my "friends".
She walked out of my life.
I got used, abused, and left for dead this past month. It was definately a bad point in my life. I found out who my real friends were. I found out that nice guys do NOT finish last, because I ended up the victor out of all the shit that happened. I got a big fucking knife in my back (and through my heart), and all of my loved ones' hands were on the handle. I owe some people a knife up to the throat for the knife in my back, but it turns out Karma took over.
I was able to mend the most important of negative events that took place recently. Jax, the love of my life, no longer thinks the opposite of what I was doing. Unfortunately neither of us are in any position to be in a relationship with eachother anytime soon, so "To Be Continued..."!
I spent 26 hours straight writing her a "Sorry & Goodbye" letter. My arm felt like it was gonna fall off. Then I had to trick her into listening to reason and hearing the truth. She's done hating me now. But we're still a little "iffy" on the details, and that's why she's still gotta come over to discuss some more in the near future.
Well, fuck SG-boys-and-girls. I appreciate all the kind fucking words. I'm getting back to each and every one of you who said something kind. Thank you. Sincerely, it's the little things that people say that matter the most in the darkest times of your life. Again: Thank you.
Well, in happier news, shit is not "Back to normal" but "Better off". I know who my true friends are now. And I am happy, once again. Seriously SG-peoples, I never get down like this. In my whole life, that was the second or third time I've ever sincerely felt like dying. I'm usually so up-beat and positive, but sometimes people envy you for that or get very jealous, and do not want you to be happier than them. So they drag you down. It's hard to fight them off, but keep your chin up and come out fucking swinging. Show the bad people that just because you wear a smile more often than a fucking lunatic, you're not to be fucked with.
If you'll excuse me, I must play "entourage" with a local punk band. They invited me to come watch them play and hang out with them and shit, and it'd be nice to see some old friends. So I'm gonna go get pumped on some music, drink a little beer, and enjoy a fuckin' punk gig and drive off in the band's van. Haha! I'll see what I can do for pictures.
And remember:
Nice guys do not finish last. I'm living fucking proof.
FUNFACT: When I was about 5 years old, I was one of those take-lots-of-Flinstones-vitamins kids. Apparently they were keeping me strong and healthy. I asked my mom why I had to take vitamins. She said that it would make me strong and live longer... What?! It made perfect sense! All I had to do was slam the whole bottle, and BAM! I was fucking unstoppable, nobody would be able to escape my wrath... A hella-frothy mouth, and 2 hours of convulsing later, I get my stomach pumped and learn a really healthy lesson in life... (But to be honest, it still doesn't make much sense to me... One pill, one day, little bit stronger... Many pills, one day, crippling pain?! Whatever... Haha!)
Well, my bout with depression is officially fucking over, even though some depressing events are still underway.
You guys curious? Ask Amberlie, she was my shit-filter (you know, where you bleed your heart on someone so much, that they hear all the garbage and have to put up with your stressful bullshit? Yeah, go over there and thank her for me!
). She's fucking gnarly. I heart that girl.
So yeah, I endured the biggest wave of bad things this past month... In point form, I guess I could go through it all...
- Some bitch played Yoko and broke up my band.
- All of my closest friends fell victim to one man's deceit, and all took turns stabbing me in the back.
- I renovated my social life as a result of previous point.
- I found out who my true friends are.
- Work has been trying to can me for false accusations.
- Some people wanted my blood.
- Work's switching me over to graveyards (not a bad thing, just a drastic change of pace).
- I get called in for surgery, just 2 weeks before my date.
- My bass breaks.
- My clothes fall apart.
- Persons who owe me over 600 dollars (collectiveley) fuck right off.
- Work tries to can me for having a mohawk.
- One "friend", met my other friend, and harsh took advantage of her.
- I got like 6 hours of sleep from March 19th to March 27th.
- I've been broke as a joke, and thus, starving.
- My plans to move into a new house with people I really care for backfire in my face, and result in yet another backstab.
- (I'm one of 10 punk kids in my little town, and I'm 6-and-a-half-feet-tall, and stand out like herpes on an albino, so) I'm kind of a reject-celebrity and anybody who knows me here, which is basically everybody, falls victim to lies, stories, tales and exaggerations of negative quality put out by some "friends" with alterior motives.
- I fought several viral infections all at once (brought on by stress). Sinus infection, one-eye infection, an ear infection followed by an other-ear-infection, tonsilitis, an inner-ear-infection (I get infected in ears I didn't even know I had!), and then a bronchial infection.
- In my state of poor physical health, my closest loved ones (excluding family), decide to have a quasi-intervention for me, (where I was not allowed to speak) and they all take turns calling me a terrible person due to rumours they heard about me that were not true. I was not able to defend myself in any which way.
- I couldn't afford spraypaint, which is my medium of choice when I am stressed out. I fuck this town up.
- The girl I've been in love with for 6 years thought I was a whore, a liar, a cheater, a thief, and a munipulative asshole... All because of my "friends".
She walked out of my life.
I got used, abused, and left for dead this past month. It was definately a bad point in my life. I found out who my real friends were. I found out that nice guys do NOT finish last, because I ended up the victor out of all the shit that happened. I got a big fucking knife in my back (and through my heart), and all of my loved ones' hands were on the handle. I owe some people a knife up to the throat for the knife in my back, but it turns out Karma took over.
I was able to mend the most important of negative events that took place recently. Jax, the love of my life, no longer thinks the opposite of what I was doing. Unfortunately neither of us are in any position to be in a relationship with eachother anytime soon, so "To Be Continued..."!
I spent 26 hours straight writing her a "Sorry & Goodbye" letter. My arm felt like it was gonna fall off. Then I had to trick her into listening to reason and hearing the truth. She's done hating me now. But we're still a little "iffy" on the details, and that's why she's still gotta come over to discuss some more in the near future.
Well, fuck SG-boys-and-girls. I appreciate all the kind fucking words. I'm getting back to each and every one of you who said something kind. Thank you. Sincerely, it's the little things that people say that matter the most in the darkest times of your life. Again: Thank you.
Well, in happier news, shit is not "Back to normal" but "Better off". I know who my true friends are now. And I am happy, once again. Seriously SG-peoples, I never get down like this. In my whole life, that was the second or third time I've ever sincerely felt like dying. I'm usually so up-beat and positive, but sometimes people envy you for that or get very jealous, and do not want you to be happier than them. So they drag you down. It's hard to fight them off, but keep your chin up and come out fucking swinging. Show the bad people that just because you wear a smile more often than a fucking lunatic, you're not to be fucked with.
If you'll excuse me, I must play "entourage" with a local punk band. They invited me to come watch them play and hang out with them and shit, and it'd be nice to see some old friends. So I'm gonna go get pumped on some music, drink a little beer, and enjoy a fuckin' punk gig and drive off in the band's van. Haha! I'll see what I can do for pictures.
And remember:
Nice guys do not finish last. I'm living fucking proof.
VIEW 25 of 37 COMMENTS
spooki:
hehe. glad you liked my comments. i wasnt trying to say you *need* to shave, i was saying - i think it looks nice when you do. and also just when you clean up the goatee. lol. i wouldnt honestly say im fat. i have a very warped sense of what i actually look like and so i think im fat when im really not all that big. i finally figured out that im not as big as i think i am because i started comparing myself to other people and showing my friends who i thought i was a similar size as and i was a wee bit off. but also. i lost a lot of weight last year and then gained it back. haha. so that makes me feel kinda fat too. but the creepy part is ... i lost... about 35 lbs and couldnt see the difference except that my clothes fit a little bit better. *weird*. im a strange girl. nice metaphor by the way - the cervical cancer thing. lol. NICE.
jordan:
how are you??
