FUNFACT: I once stayed up for eleven days straight! I heard somewhere that if you stay up past 6 days with no sleep at all, you die. I don't know how true of a fact this is, perhaps I shall google it up... But when I was in grade 11 I underwent my first and probably most brutal bout with depression. I won't get into the details, but it fucked me up so bad I couldn't stop shaking, eat without puking, or keeping my eyes open... I technically "went to bed" but did nothing other than stare at the ceiling. I was conscious, but not technically awake. I was there, but I was vacant. I don't expect many of you to understand. Maybe when I was in my bed, staring at my ceiling and trying to calm my restless mind, something happened other than sleep - a seperate form of rest - because I am definately alive, and I definately was awake for 11 days. I hallucinated like crazy. I've been up for days-on-end several times (hey, shit happens), and funnily enough, when I reach a certain point, I always hallucinate the same type of things... They're these lizard-like-komodo-dragon-sized-blackish-green-creepy-wall-crawlies! I can only ever see them in my peripheral vision. Whenever I try to stare at one or try to focus on one, it disappears. It's usually pretty fun. Until the fear hits. Then I say shit like (One of my catch-phrases! 
) "I've been up for four days! If I sleep now, I'm done for!"
Well... That being said... I'm on a three-day streak right now. I'm fucking insane right now. Like I seriously don't got my mental-shit together for the first time. Okay maybe that's a bit of an exaggeration... But I'm pretty fucked up... Basically to make a long story short, I had people over, people fucked me over pretty hard, fucked eachother pretty hard, and I got no sleep as a result of blatant-disregard-for-my-feelings.
Nothing I can't recover from, just another bump in life's road of complete hell. Haha! I've made it out perfectly fine everytime before, I don't see why this time shall be any different.
No pictures this post... I'm sorry. I've been too fucked up to worry about anything other than how to not rip a man in two. Teeheehee.
Girl's are fucked up creatures.
Work is fucking eating my soul.
I'm so fucking tired. I'm so fucking "spent", if you will. I put up with a big week of boozing, blatant-back-stabbery, hundreds of dollars blown on useless shit, lack of sleep, and crazy womens.
It's a fucking rarity... But I'm sick of people.
I'm so sick, and so sore, and so deceptively-smiley, and so... just... fucked.
I can deal with fucking anything. Seriously. I've probably been in two situations where I didn't know how to fix, and then carry-through-with-fixing, in my life. This is situation number three.
I just am too fucking exhausted to put a whole lot of mental process of the shit I had to endure this past week.
Again, I don't expect many of you to understand.
I'm just trying to describe the situation as best I can, and I doubt I'm doing a good job. Why? Becuase keeping my head up has become a full-time job. I need R&R. I need down-time. I need some short-lived-solitude.
I just put on SG Radio, to try to cheer me up, wake me up, forget my issues right now, but I dunno if I'll be able to stay awake during the whole thing.
I'm also sick. Did I say that yet, you fucking twatwaffles?!
Work is lame.
Girls fuck my most important internal organs up more than anything. Namely my brain and heart the most.
Fuck 'em. A couple days to myself. That's all I need...
Regain physical health, then quest for mental clarity.
Story of my fucking life. Except what's gonna take me a couple days this time, usually only takes a matter of seconds to fully mentall asess any situation.
My brain is up-side-fucking-down. So I'm gonna pump my music as always, and get lots of sleep (unlike recently).
SG Radio is lulling me to sleep now... And I'm fucking unplugging all my electronics, as to not disturb my slumber.
I wonder how long until I'm un-fucked!
Well SG-lovers... Wish me luck!
I shall be back and bring magical feelings and picture-presents before you even know I'm gone!
) "I've been up for four days! If I sleep now, I'm done for!"
Well... That being said... I'm on a three-day streak right now. I'm fucking insane right now. Like I seriously don't got my mental-shit together for the first time. Okay maybe that's a bit of an exaggeration... But I'm pretty fucked up... Basically to make a long story short, I had people over, people fucked me over pretty hard, fucked eachother pretty hard, and I got no sleep as a result of blatant-disregard-for-my-feelings.
Nothing I can't recover from, just another bump in life's road of complete hell. Haha! I've made it out perfectly fine everytime before, I don't see why this time shall be any different.
No pictures this post... I'm sorry. I've been too fucked up to worry about anything other than how to not rip a man in two. Teeheehee.
Girl's are fucked up creatures.
Work is fucking eating my soul.
I'm so fucking tired. I'm so fucking "spent", if you will. I put up with a big week of boozing, blatant-back-stabbery, hundreds of dollars blown on useless shit, lack of sleep, and crazy womens.
It's a fucking rarity... But I'm sick of people.
I'm so sick, and so sore, and so deceptively-smiley, and so... just... fucked.
I can deal with fucking anything. Seriously. I've probably been in two situations where I didn't know how to fix, and then carry-through-with-fixing, in my life. This is situation number three.
I just am too fucking exhausted to put a whole lot of mental process of the shit I had to endure this past week.
Again, I don't expect many of you to understand.
I'm just trying to describe the situation as best I can, and I doubt I'm doing a good job. Why? Becuase keeping my head up has become a full-time job. I need R&R. I need down-time. I need some short-lived-solitude.
I just put on SG Radio, to try to cheer me up, wake me up, forget my issues right now, but I dunno if I'll be able to stay awake during the whole thing.
I'm also sick. Did I say that yet, you fucking twatwaffles?!
Work is lame.
Girls fuck my most important internal organs up more than anything. Namely my brain and heart the most.
Fuck 'em. A couple days to myself. That's all I need...
Regain physical health, then quest for mental clarity.
Story of my fucking life. Except what's gonna take me a couple days this time, usually only takes a matter of seconds to fully mentall asess any situation.
My brain is up-side-fucking-down. So I'm gonna pump my music as always, and get lots of sleep (unlike recently).
SG Radio is lulling me to sleep now... And I'm fucking unplugging all my electronics, as to not disturb my slumber.
I wonder how long until I'm un-fucked!
Well SG-lovers... Wish me luck!
I shall be back and bring magical feelings and picture-presents before you even know I'm gone!
VIEW 25 of 70 COMMENTS
saraphine:
Oh man, one of my friends from my high school days had the best punk rock mobile--it was a scirroco and you had to crawl in the driver's side bc the passenger side was tied shut with a towel, it had no back seats, he hooked up a water gun to the side mirror and could actually spray innocent bystanders if he felt like it...Oh there's so much more wrong with that car--I can't even remember it all. Oh and my friends van with the chick in the lake airbrushed on the side, and a fake fireplace that lit up, a bar and a bed in the back--hahahaha!That was my ride to school every day. Punk rock mobiles are the BEST! Thanx for reminding me
lokischild:
dude. fucking Jericho, the wrestler, has a show on XM. it's really not that great. sirius is ten times better. they're like 2 different versions of cable radio.
