Oh boy did I fuck up! It's been so long since I had a post! You know, I had a huge "NotePad" file open on my other computer, and I'd keep adding notes as to "What to put on my journal in my next entry". And last night, my shitty computer started wheezing and coughing, and in a heat of passion with a friend of mine, I beat the shit out of it just to make it stop distracting me... I never saved the file... So this entry is gonna be not-as-long as I could have been, I'm gonna try to remember my topics to cover, and I'm gonna try to un-bore you as much as possible. (Disclaimer: Not by much 
! )
FUNFACT: I am nineteen years of age and I have never tried a drug in my life. No ganja. No pills. No nose-candy. Nothing. It's not something I'm fascist about either. I got a lot of chemical-ridden friends. It's just a personal choice. Did Jesus convince me not to? Fuck Jesus. I just don't wanna fuck with the chemicals in my head that already make me feel infinite euphoria non-stop. Go ahead, pass me the bong. I'll hold it for you, light it for you, load it for you, but I'll just keep passing it along. Funny, because a lot of people who meet me say I act like "the biggest stoner they've ever met". These people associate adventure and playfulness with drugs... How shitty for them...
Fuck... I already can barely remember what I was gonna write about... Let's start with the obvious:
I enrolled in the lovely Jackie's "Imaginary Rock School". I think I'm top in my class so far, let's take a look at my presentation, shall we? (If you have no idea what I'm talking about: CLICK HERE!)
(Please Note: I just got off work when I did this, so forgive the sweat-stained uniform. I work hard! I get dirty! But I play harder and get dirtier on my own time!
)
Fuck real instruments!
One of my "Rock-Faces"
Another one of my "Rock-Faces"
I choose bass, because I'm familiar with the old-four-string oh-so-well. So here is my "Pursed Lips" pose...
You couldn't break this focus with a focus-breaking machine! And yeah, the inanimate object of choice is the Kill Bill Katana that PinkPunk13 gave me.
The hardcore bass-solo:
Quite possibly the worst photo ever taken of me. I love it!
No, I'm not trying to overcompensate my small penis with a phallic-pose, I'm simply playing up high! You know, rockstar stylie?
And finally, to conclude my assignment: "The Jump". A little on the "graceful" side, I know... But out of 25 takes and trying to get the fucking timing down for that fucking camera's self-timer, this is the best I could do...
Well Jackie, grade me! I feel pretty confident on this project... I was up all night studying!
I just discovered the beauty that is Tiger Army. They fucking rock!
I got paid double vacation pay today, so I'm fucking estatic! I was planning on saving up for my next tattoos for months! But now I pretty much just gotta save up for weeks! Still gonna be hard for me though, because I think only twice have I ever not gone broke by the end of payday... Hmmm... But New Ink! Yaaaay!
The weather's been both absofuckinglutely gorgeous, and extridulously gross. Both of which I blame amberlie for. I don't think I'll ever be able to forgive you. Stop fucking around with my weather, damnit!
Let's seeeee...
They're filming a movie in this shitty little town, it's porn-quality acting, and none of the intercourse. It's a courtroom drama done by a company that's done buttfuck-nothing since 1984. Meh.
PinkPunk13 was over lots. One of the nights she was over, we had buttsex and sushi. The buttsex was a lot better than the sushi... I just don't like seafood much, unless it's drowning in some flavour I like...
Hmmm... What else...
I'm sorry that I haven't been SG-active all that much lately, I've been working a whole lot more than usual to get more moolah for tattoos. My social life was deeply impacted and stuff too! I've been so lonely, and so not at the same time. Haha! Oh well, shit's back to "normal" anyhow, so I'm good!
It snowed (read: "snowstormed") yesterday, and I threw a couple snowballs. It's funny how some people take a soft-snow-explosion to the back so fucking seriously. Uggy B, I'm referring to you, dude. Lighten the fuck up. Best friend for year or not, you need to chill the fuck out brotherman. Go get laid. Have a fucking milkshake or something. Gee Willickers!
Lube Review: Durex Play
Fucking useless. It cost me like 9 bucks, and I want my money back. It's a jelly, so it's thick. It's supposed to be "non-greasy", and it is. Unfortunately, where it lacks in greasiness, it more than makes up in having no stamina. You have to use shitloads of this stuff to lubricate properly, but after about 15 minutes (when I first noticed it, anyhow), it becomes really dry. Think hair-gel, but stickier. I dunno, it might be awesome for rump-sex, but not my bag. The only way this stuff made me happy, was the bottle itself. It comes with a pump that "locks" to the side so you can't accidentally get it anywhere. I love this function because many a time, in the heat of the moment, has myself or my partner pressed down on the part of the bed that had the tube-of-lube on it, and it ends up EVERYWHERE. AstroGlide, I'm looking in your direction! Overall, I give it a quarter-erection out of a full-boner... Its awesome bottle design doesn't make up for a shitty product. I'm sorry, but if your consumers can last longer than your product in one session, there's a problem.
Another Lube Review: Pink
Seriously, go fucking buy some right fucking now. It's the most natural feeling, longest lasting, smoothest, softest, most "female-aware" lubricant I've ever used. It's fucking amazing. I just can't stress this enough, or swear about it any fucking more! It's incredible for every single sexual act that requires lubricant. Seriously. I wish I worked for Pink, because I'd be pushing this thing harder than a coke-dealer (and shitloads of free lube! :love! It comes in an "Italian-Hand-Blown" glass bottle, uses a pump-nozzle and comes with quite a fair bit for how much you need to use per session. Unfortunately, I believe it ran PinkPunk13 up about 60 bucks for one bottle. I hafta double check this, but trust me people: It's fucking worth every penny! I give it a massive-fucking-erection out of... well... a masive-fucking-erection! Definately worth obtaining for your arsenal of awesome sex instruments!
Dude, I wish I had my fucking list right now... I'm leaving out so much, I just know I am.
Oh shit! I went to a party the other night at a good buddy's place... I got rather tanked, played that faaaaaantabulous guitar-game. You know, the white-boy's version of DDR? I can't remember the name of it, for I was drunk, or "crunk" if you will... But I stumbled into the hostess' bedroom and layed on the bed for a while. I rolled around and played with her pet cat for a while until I bailed off the bed and landed on a bottle of lube... It hosed me down far worse than Peter North ever could, and I had to place it back to where it's supposed to be and look all innocent and shit... I opened a shelf-thingy (read: "drawyer") to put it away, and I found an army of dildos! It was awesome! I grabbed the biggest one I could find, put it in my sock and planned on going out to show it off and share a laugh with a bunch of people. But I was drunk... So I forgot. I ended up going home with a massive dildo in my sock. I still have it. I use it to point at things when I feel like pointing. For example "Hey James, pass me that sandwich please?" It's usually "Dude, put down the giant rubber cock for five seconds and point with your finger, will ya? Shit dude... Shit..." Hahahahahahaha! Love it! I am not able to return it for quite a while because she lives like 100 miles from me and I'm not available to return it anytime soon! But I think she said I could keep it... It's apparently "too big" for her... Wuss.
Teeheeeheeeheeee.
Alright homies, the other day, my trustee band of merry Robot-Fucking-Space-Pirates and myself ran into some old friends. We haven't seen them in a while, so we invited them out for some dinner. One of said homies decided to fling some dessert at me. I'm a champ at catching things in my mouth, so I ate his whole strawberry shortcake in an airborne fashion. We then decided to go about town searching for a place to purchase a pie or sorts at 3am. After about an hour of searching, we finally found a "Triple Chill Cake". Close enough to a pie I suppose. So I launched it into the air as HARD as I could, and took it to the face.
I got some gnarly fuckin' videos too! But I dunno where to put them or how to give them to you. If you want my MSN, just ask and I could send it to you personally, but I'd prefer an easier more convenient way...
I'm not into local music much, I'm pretty mainstream with most of my shit, but there are some bands that nobody knows about that I fall in fucking love with. Los Furios is one of these phenomena.
My band finally has our shit together, practice schedules a semi-solid line-up and a gimmick. We're gonna punk-cover a lot of rap, R&B, and hip-hop. Kanye West, Biggie, Tupac perhaps, Snoop, you name a famous toe-tappin'-ditty by a rap-artist and we're probably gonna punk it up. Think Richard Cheese, if only he were hardcore and had a mohawk and did nothing but "Oy!" in his spare time...
We're also doing some porno-style funky-fat-grooves type of shit... It's "phat" with a "ph"! (Wow! Haven't heard THAT word in a while! )
We're also gonna do some original shit too! Nothing serious, just fun.
I wanna get naked.
One sec...
I am now naked.
This is the first night I get the whole house to myself.
Albums I must purchase and not download:
The new Slackers disc.
City and Colour.
Eagles of Death Metal - Death by Sexy.
Oh fucks yeah!
You know the girl to the left in my avatar? I'm going to her four cabins in the middle of nowhere one week from today! It's gonna be so fucking rad! Drunk! Punk! Nudity! Oy!
March 31st, go to Sacred Heart, discuss my new ink.
March 17th/18th/19th, somehow juggle long-lost-friend-from-out-of-town and cabin-adventure and shitty-work at the same time...
Oh fuck, I'm bringing my camera with me. But I seriously need to know how to show you guys videos, trust me. They're much better. But camera for sure, because it's the best I can do without taking you all along with me! (And I would if I could, trust me!)
The night is young, and I'm hungry. Journal and the homies who read said journal, I must bid you adieu...
But not before I say you're all fucking rad! Seriously! I'm clocking up like 9 pages of comments per entry these days! Thanks guys! You're definately the fucking raddest fulfillment an attention whore like me can get! I love you all! Lovies! Kissies! Puppies! Kitties! Unicorns! Candy! Boobies! Rumps!
Take it fuckin' easy guys! I less-than-three you all!
! )
FUNFACT: I am nineteen years of age and I have never tried a drug in my life. No ganja. No pills. No nose-candy. Nothing. It's not something I'm fascist about either. I got a lot of chemical-ridden friends. It's just a personal choice. Did Jesus convince me not to? Fuck Jesus. I just don't wanna fuck with the chemicals in my head that already make me feel infinite euphoria non-stop. Go ahead, pass me the bong. I'll hold it for you, light it for you, load it for you, but I'll just keep passing it along. Funny, because a lot of people who meet me say I act like "the biggest stoner they've ever met". These people associate adventure and playfulness with drugs... How shitty for them...
Fuck... I already can barely remember what I was gonna write about... Let's start with the obvious:
I enrolled in the lovely Jackie's "Imaginary Rock School". I think I'm top in my class so far, let's take a look at my presentation, shall we? (If you have no idea what I'm talking about: CLICK HERE!)
(Please Note: I just got off work when I did this, so forgive the sweat-stained uniform. I work hard! I get dirty! But I play harder and get dirtier on my own time!
)
Fuck real instruments!
One of my "Rock-Faces"
Another one of my "Rock-Faces"
I choose bass, because I'm familiar with the old-four-string oh-so-well. So here is my "Pursed Lips" pose...
You couldn't break this focus with a focus-breaking machine! And yeah, the inanimate object of choice is the Kill Bill Katana that PinkPunk13 gave me.
The hardcore bass-solo:
Quite possibly the worst photo ever taken of me. I love it!
No, I'm not trying to overcompensate my small penis with a phallic-pose, I'm simply playing up high! You know, rockstar stylie?
And finally, to conclude my assignment: "The Jump". A little on the "graceful" side, I know... But out of 25 takes and trying to get the fucking timing down for that fucking camera's self-timer, this is the best I could do...
Well Jackie, grade me! I feel pretty confident on this project... I was up all night studying!
I just discovered the beauty that is Tiger Army. They fucking rock!
I got paid double vacation pay today, so I'm fucking estatic! I was planning on saving up for my next tattoos for months! But now I pretty much just gotta save up for weeks! Still gonna be hard for me though, because I think only twice have I ever not gone broke by the end of payday... Hmmm... But New Ink!
Yaaaay!
The weather's been both absofuckinglutely gorgeous, and extridulously gross. Both of which I blame amberlie for. I don't think I'll ever be able to forgive you. Stop fucking around with my weather, damnit!
Let's seeeee...
They're filming a movie in this shitty little town, it's porn-quality acting, and none of the intercourse. It's a courtroom drama done by a company that's done buttfuck-nothing since 1984. Meh.
PinkPunk13 was over lots. One of the nights she was over, we had buttsex and sushi. The buttsex was a lot better than the sushi... I just don't like seafood much, unless it's drowning in some flavour I like...
Hmmm... What else...
I'm sorry that I haven't been SG-active all that much lately, I've been working a whole lot more than usual to get more moolah for tattoos. My social life was deeply impacted and stuff too! I've been so lonely, and so not at the same time. Haha! Oh well, shit's back to "normal" anyhow, so I'm good!
It snowed (read: "snowstormed") yesterday, and I threw a couple snowballs. It's funny how some people take a soft-snow-explosion to the back so fucking seriously. Uggy B, I'm referring to you, dude. Lighten the fuck up. Best friend for year or not, you need to chill the fuck out brotherman. Go get laid. Have a fucking milkshake or something. Gee Willickers!
Lube Review: Durex Play
Fucking useless. It cost me like 9 bucks, and I want my money back. It's a jelly, so it's thick. It's supposed to be "non-greasy", and it is. Unfortunately, where it lacks in greasiness, it more than makes up in having no stamina. You have to use shitloads of this stuff to lubricate properly, but after about 15 minutes (when I first noticed it, anyhow), it becomes really dry. Think hair-gel, but stickier. I dunno, it might be awesome for rump-sex, but not my bag. The only way this stuff made me happy, was the bottle itself. It comes with a pump that "locks" to the side so you can't accidentally get it anywhere. I love this function because many a time, in the heat of the moment, has myself or my partner pressed down on the part of the bed that had the tube-of-lube on it, and it ends up EVERYWHERE. AstroGlide, I'm looking in your direction! Overall, I give it a quarter-erection out of a full-boner... Its awesome bottle design doesn't make up for a shitty product. I'm sorry, but if your consumers can last longer than your product in one session, there's a problem.
Another Lube Review: Pink
Seriously, go fucking buy some right fucking now. It's the most natural feeling, longest lasting, smoothest, softest, most "female-aware" lubricant I've ever used. It's fucking amazing. I just can't stress this enough, or swear about it any fucking more! It's incredible for every single sexual act that requires lubricant. Seriously. I wish I worked for Pink, because I'd be pushing this thing harder than a coke-dealer (and shitloads of free lube! :love
! It comes in an "Italian-Hand-Blown" glass bottle, uses a pump-nozzle and comes with quite a fair bit for how much you need to use per session. Unfortunately, I believe it ran PinkPunk13 up about 60 bucks for one bottle. I hafta double check this, but trust me people: It's fucking worth every penny! I give it a massive-fucking-erection out of... well... a masive-fucking-erection! Definately worth obtaining for your arsenal of awesome sex instruments!
Dude, I wish I had my fucking list right now... I'm leaving out so much, I just know I am.
Oh shit! I went to a party the other night at a good buddy's place... I got rather tanked, played that faaaaaantabulous guitar-game. You know, the white-boy's version of DDR? I can't remember the name of it, for I was drunk, or "crunk" if you will... But I stumbled into the hostess' bedroom and layed on the bed for a while. I rolled around and played with her pet cat for a while until I bailed off the bed and landed on a bottle of lube... It hosed me down far worse than Peter North ever could, and I had to place it back to where it's supposed to be and look all innocent and shit... I opened a shelf-thingy (read: "drawyer") to put it away, and I found an army of dildos! It was awesome! I grabbed the biggest one I could find, put it in my sock and planned on going out to show it off and share a laugh with a bunch of people. But I was drunk... So I forgot. I ended up going home with a massive dildo in my sock. I still have it. I use it to point at things when I feel like pointing. For example "Hey James, pass me that sandwich please?" It's usually "Dude, put down the giant rubber cock for five seconds and point with your finger, will ya? Shit dude... Shit..." Hahahahahahaha! Love it! I am not able to return it for quite a while because she lives like 100 miles from me and I'm not available to return it anytime soon! But I think she said I could keep it... It's apparently "too big" for her... Wuss.
Teeheeeheeeheeee.
Alright homies, the other day, my trustee band of merry Robot-Fucking-Space-Pirates and myself ran into some old friends. We haven't seen them in a while, so we invited them out for some dinner. One of said homies decided to fling some dessert at me. I'm a champ at catching things in my mouth, so I ate his whole strawberry shortcake in an airborne fashion. We then decided to go about town searching for a place to purchase a pie or sorts at 3am. After about an hour of searching, we finally found a "Triple Chill Cake". Close enough to a pie I suppose. So I launched it into the air as HARD as I could, and took it to the face.
I got some gnarly fuckin' videos too! But I dunno where to put them or how to give them to you. If you want my MSN, just ask and I could send it to you personally, but I'd prefer an easier more convenient way...
I'm not into local music much, I'm pretty mainstream with most of my shit, but there are some bands that nobody knows about that I fall in fucking love with. Los Furios is one of these phenomena.
My band finally has our shit together, practice schedules a semi-solid line-up and a gimmick. We're gonna punk-cover a lot of rap, R&B, and hip-hop. Kanye West, Biggie, Tupac perhaps, Snoop, you name a famous toe-tappin'-ditty by a rap-artist and we're probably gonna punk it up. Think Richard Cheese, if only he were hardcore and had a mohawk and did nothing but "Oy!" in his spare time...
We're also doing some porno-style funky-fat-grooves type of shit... It's "phat" with a "ph"! (Wow! Haven't heard THAT word in a while!
)
We're also gonna do some original shit too! Nothing serious, just fun.
I wanna get naked.
One sec...
I am now naked.
This is the first night I get the whole house to myself.
Albums I must purchase and not download:
The new Slackers disc.
City and Colour.
Eagles of Death Metal - Death by Sexy.
Oh fucks yeah!
You know the girl to the left in my avatar? I'm going to her four cabins in the middle of nowhere one week from today! It's gonna be so fucking rad! Drunk! Punk! Nudity! Oy!
March 31st, go to Sacred Heart, discuss my new ink.
March 17th/18th/19th, somehow juggle long-lost-friend-from-out-of-town and cabin-adventure and shitty-work at the same time...
Oh fuck, I'm bringing my camera with me. But I seriously need to know how to show you guys videos, trust me. They're much better. But camera for sure, because it's the best I can do without taking you all along with me! (And I would if I could, trust me!)
The night is young, and I'm hungry. Journal and the homies who read said journal, I must bid you adieu...
But not before I say you're all fucking rad! Seriously! I'm clocking up like 9 pages of comments per entry these days! Thanks guys! You're definately the fucking raddest fulfillment an attention whore like me can get! I love you all! Lovies! Kissies! Puppies! Kitties! Unicorns! Candy! Boobies! Rumps!
Take it fuckin' easy guys! I less-than-three you all!
VIEW 25 of 51 COMMENTS
oren:
Best.pics.EVAR.
riot:
if you hugged me from the back our tattoos would be kissing!