Hey dudes and dudettes! Sorry I've been MIA this last li'l while, I've been busting my balls off to force fun down the throats of some of my friends. But alas, fear not! An update is afoot! (I'ma try my hardest to get back to each and every one of you! If I miss one of you, or you just simply crave attention - yell at me for it, and I'll be more than happy to say hello!)
FUNFACT: I am seriously the God of videogames. I am not fucking kidding here. As pathetic as it sounds, I am practically undefeated at almost every game I own/enjoy. The ones I really take to heart (like Halo 2 for example), I enjoy so much, I perfect my skills and accept any challenge that crosses my path and remain a God. Ironically enough, I can not stand competing online for said games. Given, a guilty pleasure of mine is CounterStrike: Source, I just can't stand internet-games. I prefer the "everybody-system-linking-in-one-or-two-rooms" type of gameplay. The "couch experience" if you will. When you go online, there's too much crap and risks. You don't know who you're up against, which is shitty because the truth is it's usually a "gangsta" nine-year-old using words his mom dare not hear him utter, or the inbred fatass with the redneck lingo who willingly goes against every objective for laughs. Oh, don't forget the fact you hear "fuckingfaggotkillmeI'mgoingtocometoyourhouseandfuckingsnipeyourfaggotasssuckmydickbitchfaggot" every thirty seconds. Then there's laggers, hackers, you name it... It's just not worth the effort... (This was all proven with the time I competed in the Halo 2 nationals and got ripped off, haha!) I like to laugh with everyone in the room. Enjoy the company and competition of friends. It's better than anyhting the internet can offer! I'm not a nerd. I'm not an introvert. I'm not any form of lame. I was just raised on the old NES instead of a babysitter, so my hand-eye-coordination is fucking insane. Videogames are wicked worlds to escape to, blow some shit up, exercise your mind, piss some people off, and share a laugh. Fun times... But still, you cannot beat me at Halo 2. I'm sorry, but I haven't heard of anyone that can stack up to me at it, and I'm always welcoming challengers...
Wow, what a long fact! A nerdy one too! Haha! I got even that stereotype out with some adventure! I'll post some pictures in a bizzle! But for now, there are a few things I'd like to mention...
I fucking missed the fucking Vancouver fucking International fucking Burlesque fucking Festival... Fucking stupid fucking work... Fucking stupid fucking friends bombing fucking out of naked fucking women... Oh well... I got to hear all about it from the ex. Sorry girls! I promise to make the next one!
I did a little re-modeling of my living space. I got this wicked couch that's fucking magical I swear. It's a big squishy sectional, and when you sit on it, you go to a different place. A happy place. A place where you can't feel anything other than euphoria. I swear to God... All of those who have encountered said couch can not disagree. There truly is something special about it. I'll hafta post pictures of it another time, when I have batteries for my camera... (I'm thinking of giving the motherfucker a name! Any suggestions? I was thinking something like "Cosmonaut" or "SpaceBoy"... Something spacey! Or piratey! Or robotic!
)
Final Destination 3 has a lot of good laughs in it. Some brutal kills too. I enjoy everything so don't take my advice, but I liked it.
XBox 360 is a little over-rated.
Girls are still fucking nuts in the head, but at least I'm surrounded by the better kind of "fucked in the head" girls...
Death From Above 1979, Rancid, NOFX, Sublime... Wow... Words can't describe what they do to me...
I'm broke as a joke these days, so my adventure meter is running on empty lately, but still I manage to squeeze some fun in there.
On the weekend, we got some good weather, so we went out and had a good time, cruising around, acting like morons with some friends I see not-so-often, listening to some good music (Dropkick Murphys, DFA'79, NOFX, Rancid, etc.), and taking pictures. Let me share some with you...
This is Emily and Kylee. They, like you, are rad.
"Objects in the mirror are closer than they appear." It's true! In Jusassic Park, did you NOT see how close that T-rex was compared to how the jeep's mirror depicted?! It's crazy! Haha!
"Rock the fuck on!"
If I had to choose one picture to describe how homo-erotic yet heterosexual me and my best friend can get at times, this would not be that picture.
My shirt reads "Unicorns are Kickass" but, the trainee at Bang-On effed up the "A". Haha! (Pleae note Uggy B, (the fat one on the right) designed this shirt for me. Not shown: A giant sparkly unicorn on the back of said shirt.)
You know those pictures where wiggers throw up "gang-signs" and crouch in front of their "pimping" rides? Well...
"Caravan Motherfickle! What!"
This is Emily, Kylee, and "Other Girl". "Other Girl", or "OG" as I will refer to her as, was quiet and had bad taste in music. She insisted on being in some photographs. I only humoured her because she was generally bubbly, but more importantly - stared at me lots and creeped me out.
"Hey Stoph! Ever have your eye licked?"
"Maybe but I can't remember... Why?"
"Come here!
"
There's seriously something wrong with me. Punk chicks rock waaaaaay too hard in my books. Sometimes they rock so hard, that they leave scars! It's beautiful!
Definately tastier than any thigh-high dominatrix boot I've ever tasted. And that says a lot! (Ahhh, Chuck Taylors, are there anything you can't do?!)
Okay, this is where my journal gets a little fucked up...
That night, I got so fucked up on beer with Ash-hole...
I ended up handing her a camera, stripping down to nothing but aviators, skate-shoes, beer and a smile... Oh! And a fucking loincloth.
So...
If you are at all offended by pleasantly chubby and moderately fuzzy Italian boys, parading around all scantily clad, intoxicated in public... PLEASE STOP READING!!11oneone
The answer to my trivia question at the end of my last journal was guess correctly by several people! It was a frame from Sublime's "Wrong Way" video. I love that thing...
But as promised, I will show you some partial nudity of myself... Lord knows I'm probably gonna regret it... (Like honestly, what good can come from posting pictures of yourself, punk in drublic, wearing nothing but a loincloth?! Hahahaha!)
Before...
Aaaaaand after...
Sorry you had to see that. But I was so drunk, and it was so spur-of-the-moment, to not post those would be a waste. Unfortunately for all of my friends, I am naked quite often. There were a lot of cock-&-ball shots (I was bouncing around like a fucking retard on a trampoline after all), but you won't see any of those! It was a very cold night, and I can make a MUCH better first impression, haha!
One more happy-fun-drunk-picture-deluxe of me and Ashley, and then we'll be on our way...
Alright, so (technically) yesterday, we went about to make a huge fucking sandwich. It was fucking amazing...
But on the way to Uggy B's place, we wondered what would happen if we gunned his Neon into this hill that connects to his front yard. This is what would happen:
Fate intervened and we fucked up his yard and sunk in too deep to hit the hill itself! Hahaha! It was so funny and unexpected!
When I was like... Twelve, I always thought "How rad would a picture of me, eating a huge sammich, with a shocked look on my face be?!"
This rad:
As wierd as it sounds - I fulfilled another fucking dream. I got better expressions in other pictures, but this one turned out the best (fucking Uggy's gotta learn how to take a fucking picture! Goddamn!).
I want you guys to soak in the sheer size of this delicious creature...
I'm a big kid, and the sammich is like almost three feet long, so don't underestimate the size on scale here...
It was so beautiful, I cried a little. I also used it as a pillow in between eatings:
Have you guys seen Viva La Bam: Seasona 4 & 5? All of Bam's shit is fucking hilarious, go check it out. But if you've seen season 4, you'll get this:
"I wrote WonderWall."
Hahahahahaha! Me and Uggles shared a good fucking laugh there, I tell you what! Hahaha!
Wow... Today is V-Day... And for the first time since I was twelve, I don't have a fucking partner... Shitty... Should I get laid? Dr. McGillencutty's Fireball is cinnamon hearts/Valentines-Day flavoured. Maybe I'll drink away my sorrows and find a mate! Haha! Only kidding... But I do crave the warm embrace of a female ever so badly...
Well buddies! It's been another wonderful post! Sorry you had to see parts of me that should have been left unknown (and thankfully not ALL of them)! Sorry about the length! I make my posts so big, I'm sorry! Bad habit I know! Maybe I should stop...
Again: You're all ever-so-fucking-rad. Thanks for stopping by, and for reading all of this I hope you get eight hours of mind-blowing sex this Valentines Day (I'd give it to you myself, but you're all so far away!). Lord knows I'm gonna try! Haha! Have fun! Play safe! Win some hearts!
FUNFACT: I am seriously the God of videogames. I am not fucking kidding here. As pathetic as it sounds, I am practically undefeated at almost every game I own/enjoy. The ones I really take to heart (like Halo 2 for example), I enjoy so much, I perfect my skills and accept any challenge that crosses my path and remain a God. Ironically enough, I can not stand competing online for said games. Given, a guilty pleasure of mine is CounterStrike: Source, I just can't stand internet-games. I prefer the "everybody-system-linking-in-one-or-two-rooms" type of gameplay. The "couch experience" if you will. When you go online, there's too much crap and risks. You don't know who you're up against, which is shitty because the truth is it's usually a "gangsta" nine-year-old using words his mom dare not hear him utter, or the inbred fatass with the redneck lingo who willingly goes against every objective for laughs. Oh, don't forget the fact you hear "fuckingfaggotkillmeI'mgoingtocometoyourhouseandfuckingsnipeyourfaggotasssuckmydickbitchfaggot" every thirty seconds. Then there's laggers, hackers, you name it... It's just not worth the effort... (This was all proven with the time I competed in the Halo 2 nationals and got ripped off, haha!) I like to laugh with everyone in the room. Enjoy the company and competition of friends. It's better than anyhting the internet can offer! I'm not a nerd. I'm not an introvert. I'm not any form of lame. I was just raised on the old NES instead of a babysitter, so my hand-eye-coordination is fucking insane. Videogames are wicked worlds to escape to, blow some shit up, exercise your mind, piss some people off, and share a laugh. Fun times... But still, you cannot beat me at Halo 2. I'm sorry, but I haven't heard of anyone that can stack up to me at it, and I'm always welcoming challengers...
Wow, what a long fact! A nerdy one too! Haha! I got even that stereotype out with some adventure! I'll post some pictures in a bizzle! But for now, there are a few things I'd like to mention...
I fucking missed the fucking Vancouver fucking International fucking Burlesque fucking Festival... Fucking stupid fucking work... Fucking stupid fucking friends bombing fucking out of naked fucking women... Oh well... I got to hear all about it from the ex. Sorry girls! I promise to make the next one!
I did a little re-modeling of my living space. I got this wicked couch that's fucking magical I swear. It's a big squishy sectional, and when you sit on it, you go to a different place. A happy place. A place where you can't feel anything other than euphoria. I swear to God... All of those who have encountered said couch can not disagree. There truly is something special about it. I'll hafta post pictures of it another time, when I have batteries for my camera... (I'm thinking of giving the motherfucker a name! Any suggestions? I was thinking something like "Cosmonaut" or "SpaceBoy"... Something spacey! Or piratey! Or robotic!
)
Final Destination 3 has a lot of good laughs in it. Some brutal kills too. I enjoy everything so don't take my advice, but I liked it.
XBox 360 is a little over-rated.
Girls are still fucking nuts in the head, but at least I'm surrounded by the better kind of "fucked in the head" girls...
Death From Above 1979, Rancid, NOFX, Sublime... Wow... Words can't describe what they do to me...
I'm broke as a joke these days, so my adventure meter is running on empty lately, but still I manage to squeeze some fun in there.
On the weekend, we got some good weather, so we went out and had a good time, cruising around, acting like morons with some friends I see not-so-often, listening to some good music (Dropkick Murphys, DFA'79, NOFX, Rancid, etc.), and taking pictures. Let me share some with you...
This is Emily and Kylee. They, like you, are rad.
"Objects in the mirror are closer than they appear." It's true! In Jusassic Park, did you NOT see how close that T-rex was compared to how the jeep's mirror depicted?! It's crazy! Haha!
"Rock the fuck on!"
If I had to choose one picture to describe how homo-erotic yet heterosexual me and my best friend can get at times, this would not be that picture.
My shirt reads "Unicorns are Kickass" but, the trainee at Bang-On effed up the "A". Haha! (Pleae note Uggy B, (the fat one on the right) designed this shirt for me. Not shown: A giant sparkly unicorn on the back of said shirt.)
You know those pictures where wiggers throw up "gang-signs" and crouch in front of their "pimping" rides? Well...
"Caravan Motherfickle! What!"
This is Emily, Kylee, and "Other Girl". "Other Girl", or "OG" as I will refer to her as, was quiet and had bad taste in music. She insisted on being in some photographs. I only humoured her because she was generally bubbly, but more importantly - stared at me lots and creeped me out.
"Hey Stoph! Ever have your eye licked?"
"Maybe but I can't remember... Why?"
"Come here!
"
There's seriously something wrong with me. Punk chicks rock waaaaaay too hard in my books. Sometimes they rock so hard, that they leave scars! It's beautiful!
Definately tastier than any thigh-high dominatrix boot I've ever tasted. And that says a lot!
(Ahhh, Chuck Taylors, are there anything you can't do?!)
Okay, this is where my journal gets a little fucked up...
That night, I got so fucked up on beer with Ash-hole...
I ended up handing her a camera, stripping down to nothing but aviators, skate-shoes, beer and a smile... Oh! And a fucking loincloth.
So...
If you are at all offended by pleasantly chubby and moderately fuzzy Italian boys, parading around all scantily clad, intoxicated in public... PLEASE STOP READING!!11oneone
The answer to my trivia question at the end of my last journal was guess correctly by several people! It was a frame from Sublime's "Wrong Way" video. I love that thing...
But as promised, I will show you some partial nudity of myself... Lord knows I'm probably gonna regret it... (Like honestly, what good can come from posting pictures of yourself, punk in drublic, wearing nothing but a loincloth?! Hahahaha!)
Before...
Aaaaaand after...
Sorry you had to see that. But I was so drunk, and it was so spur-of-the-moment, to not post those would be a waste. Unfortunately for all of my friends, I am naked quite often. There were a lot of cock-&-ball shots (I was bouncing around like a fucking retard on a trampoline after all), but you won't see any of those! It was a very cold night, and I can make a MUCH better first impression, haha!
One more happy-fun-drunk-picture-deluxe of me and Ashley, and then we'll be on our way...
Alright, so (technically) yesterday, we went about to make a huge fucking sandwich. It was fucking amazing...
But on the way to Uggy B's place, we wondered what would happen if we gunned his Neon into this hill that connects to his front yard. This is what would happen:
Fate intervened and we fucked up his yard and sunk in too deep to hit the hill itself! Hahaha! It was so funny and unexpected!
When I was like... Twelve, I always thought "How rad would a picture of me, eating a huge sammich, with a shocked look on my face be?!"
This rad:
As wierd as it sounds - I fulfilled another fucking dream. I got better expressions in other pictures, but this one turned out the best (fucking Uggy's gotta learn how to take a fucking picture! Goddamn!).
I want you guys to soak in the sheer size of this delicious creature...
I'm a big kid, and the sammich is like almost three feet long, so don't underestimate the size on scale here...
It was so beautiful, I cried a little. I also used it as a pillow in between eatings:
Have you guys seen Viva La Bam: Seasona 4 & 5? All of Bam's shit is fucking hilarious, go check it out. But if you've seen season 4, you'll get this:
"I wrote WonderWall."
Hahahahahaha! Me and Uggles shared a good fucking laugh there, I tell you what! Hahaha!
Wow... Today is V-Day... And for the first time since I was twelve, I don't have a fucking partner... Shitty... Should I get laid? Dr. McGillencutty's Fireball is cinnamon hearts/Valentines-Day flavoured. Maybe I'll drink away my sorrows and find a mate! Haha! Only kidding... But I do crave the warm embrace of a female ever so badly...
Well buddies! It's been another wonderful post! Sorry you had to see parts of me that should have been left unknown (and thankfully not ALL of them
)! Sorry about the length! I make my posts so big, I'm sorry! Bad habit I know! Maybe I should stop...
Again: You're all ever-so-fucking-rad. Thanks for stopping by, and for reading all of this I hope you get eight hours of mind-blowing sex this Valentines Day (I'd give it to you myself, but you're all so far away!
). Lord knows I'm gonna try! Haha! Have fun! Play safe! Win some hearts!
VIEW 25 of 120 COMMENTS
And my thats a huge sandwich
I can look at a guy and say "Oh yeah, he's cute" and I have and will always do that... but it's just girls I prefer to sleep with. I have never really had the desire to want to sleep with guys. Penii (muahahaha) in general turn me off and creep me out.