Alright beloved dudes and dudettes of all awesome and radness... This is gonna be a long one, so lemme warn you before-hand... Hence this paragraph... And stuff...
Let's rock...
Lemme just slam on the DFA1979, and get this badboy rollin'...
FUNFACT: I have the liniest hands anyone's ever seen.
They're usually called "old man hands", but I don't get why. Old man hands are wrinkley, mine are liney. I guess the lines make wrinkles, yes... but oh well. They're really soft, I swear! Except for like three heavily calloused tips due to bass (pictured in my last post)!
[EDITED TO ADD: If you're wondering why my fingertips are red, it's because I went to a Static-X concert where they used the same stage-gates as a Gwar concert two days prior. I gripped said gates for my life. (Fuck moshing when you got front-row-centre!) Gwar hosed said gates with Sharon Osbourne, Michael Jackson, and Paris Hilton blood. They tried to clean it up, but it still came off on my hands. It didn't wash off for a WEEK! Hahaha! I couldn't make the Gwar gig (sadly), but I still managed to get some Gwar on my hands and take a li'l home Gwar home with me! How rad is that!)
Well, I've been tagged (by the lovely Saraphine, I might add!). Thank god! I've been dying for some attention! Haha!
1. - What do you like more hugs or kisses?
I'm with Saraphine on this one, they both serve completely different purposes. I find hugs more consoling, and kissing more passionate, though. During sex with a girl I really like I kiss her like fucking crazy. I dunno. I'm a make-out artist.
2. - If you had to make a speech on national TV tonight what would you speak about?
Probably bless them with the wise words of my mom.
"How do you expect to be respected as an individual, if you don't accept others as individuals? Treat others how you'd like to be treated. To each his own. You're different to them as they're different to you. You're polar opposites, but the exact fucking same. Unite."
I'd probably close off with a big "Rock Fucking On!!!"
3. - If you could have one band play a private show on your birthday, what band would it be?
Probably Rancid. Or Queens Of The Stone Age. But something more punky would suit the mood. If I could have any, living or dead, Sublime, hands down.
4. - Tomorrow you can have a two hour lunch with anyone in the world, who would you have lunch with?
Oh jesus... Probably my father. I haven't spoken a word to him in like, nine years. I miss the guy. Nicest person I've ever met (even if it was just once a month).
5. - Whats your favorite body part?
Fuck dude. I love every part of the body. But I mostly love how a girl carries herself or uses it, so technically: The Brain.
6. - What are you looking forward to most this year?
There's talk of a road-trip through the states, to groupie-follow the SuicideGirls Burlesque Tour. We'd hit up all my friends in the states that I haven't seen in a year, all down the West Coast. We'd hit up every show, gig, band, and burlesque along the way. Camp out in cars. Steal personal hygiene from unsuspecting peoples' garden-hoses. And most importantly, follow SG around like a psycho ex-boyfriend.
7. - Do you ever fantasize about an old love?
Guilty as charged.
8. - What did you spend a lot of time doing as a child?
Ask as many questions about everything and anything I possibly could. Play Teenage-Mutant-Ninja-Turtles. Play Ghostbusters. Play Alien, Aliens, Alien 3. Play Transformers. Play Starship-Troopers. Play Play Play Play Play. And learn...
9. - You have been given a large sum of money to help reconstruct a struggling city, which city would you help?
The piece of shit I'm in right now. Maple fucking Ridge. It's soooooooo shitty. It needs all the helps it can get. It's nothing but Wiggers, Rednecks, and "Gangsta-Drug-Dealers". It's fucking sick. Large sum of money would be a LOT of napalm. And I'd "reconstruct" it back into the rock-and-dirt it was only ever meant to be. Hahaha! Maybe not, I'd help all the homeless in Vancouver, help criminals and druggies rehabilitate, and a LOT more prevention squads. Yeah...
10. - You are homeless. You can either stay at a hostel or with a rich but total stranger what do you do?
Stranger. I'm quite the handy sex-slave. All you gotta do is give him the time of his life any way you can, work your way into his will, and BAM! As you can tell, I'm not new to this dance-floor. I know the "stranger" option is supposed to sound risky, but it seems like a better option than "a hostel". Especially after the movie! Jeeeeez! Movies and TV don't lie! Hostels = Death.
11. - Do you think androgyny is sexy?
Sexy? No! Confusing? Yes?
12. - Have you ever been toe fucked?
I got hobbit feet dude. It ain't happening. But on the giving-end... It's might have happened... But as a joke, nothing serious...
13. - How important do you think sex appeal is in music?
It's just a flavour. I don't find punk at all sexy, but it's my favourite. I find Queens Of The Stone Age extremely sexy, and bands like them I love too! It's not needed, but it's a good taste from time-to-time.
14. - What are you wearing right now?
Osiris Louie-Barletta's (Black/Gray/Charcoal), Gray socks, brand-spankin'-new Fruit-of-the-Loom red boxer-briefs, baggy-as-hell jeans, black-and-white-checkered-stud-belt, "PNKRSLUT" belt buckle, checkered-black-and-white wristbands, SuicideGirls Men's Foil Skull Tee, ring on my middle finger, skull-and-crossbones-toque, and under that is a crusty old fauxhawk. (All of which are coincidentally in some pics in my picture-folders! I change my clothes! I swear!)
15. - How many times have you been turned on today?
Once or twice. I saw a chick with a blood-red-mohawk at the mall, 'twas freakin' rad. Insta-boner. And then I woke up thinking about the last time I got laid, so... yeah. I know, I don't think about sex often, but I'm the most over-sexed person you'll ever meet. I just can't get enough. I think that's it... I'm sexed so often that it doesn't exist in my brain, it's just in reality. I don't think about it often. Wierd for a teenage male, eh?
Well, that concludes me tagging. But my post is nowhere near done... I know... I'm sorry! I just feel the need to overcompensate for the lack of adventure going on! So yeah, lemme tell you about my day, and then I'll show you a thing or two...
I woke up to a phone call, as per usual (becuase I sleep in 'til about 1-3pm everyday). It's a chick from HMV.
Her: "Hey, is Christoph there?"
Me: "Yeah, speaking."
Brother: "He's sleeping! Call back another time!"
Me: "James you fuckin' retard, hang up! I got it!"
Brother: "No you're gay!" *CLICK*
Me: "Sorry about that!"
Her: "It's cool! Was that your li'l brother?"
Me: "Ummm... yeah... " *Thinking about what girl I know, that has my number, and doesn't know about James?!*
Her: "That was awesome! Well anyhow, I'm Megz from HMV, we finally got that Sublime CD Wallet you ordered."
Me: "Sweet shizzle almighty!"
Her: "But..."
Me: "Uh-oh..."
Her: "Yeah, there's always a 'but', isn't there? Haha! I'm sorry, but it appears to be damaged..."
Me: "Awww, that's too bad. What's the damage-report?"
Her: "Well, it looks as though if you were to open it, the zipper is gonna fall apart. If you want, you can totally like, order a new one, get this one as a discount, or forget about it completely, it's not problem."
Me: "Oh, rad. Just put me down for another one!"
Her: "Rock on! Lemme just put this into the computer here... How long did it take for you to get this, by the way?"
Me: "Hehehe, like four months."
Her: "Holy shit! And you still shop here?!"
Me: "Yeah. I'm a sucker for abuse."
Her: "So is it the Lou-Dog one, or the Blunt one? I dunno which is which, they only come up in text on the computer, so..."
Me: "The one you're holding is Lou-Dog. I already ordered and recieved the Blunt one."
Her: "Blunt eh? Haha! Sounds rad! What's it like?"
Me: "It's your typical CD Wallet with Sublime all over it, and the words are in the shape of a gi-nourmous ganja-cigarette!"
Her: "I'm sooo fucking ordering that now! Sounds super-deluxe-cool!"
Me: " It is!"
Her: "Speaking of Sublime, and the bad-boy I'm holding right now, I fucking LOVE Lou-Dog! He's so cute and so cool!"
Me: "I'm a big fan of the Lou-Dog myself, y'know!"
Her: "Really?! You'd totally love these posters we have of him right now in the store! It's all the members of Sublime and it's got Lou-Dog on the far right as one of the band members and it says -"
Me: "It says 'Sublime: Livin' with Louie-Dog's the only way to stay sane!' on the bottom!"
Her: "Yeah! You've seen them?!"
Me: "I am looking at it on my wall right now!"
Her: "Oooooh! Too coooooool!"
Co-Worker-Giving-Her-Shit-In-Background: "Shouldn't you be getting back to work instead of fucking around and flirting on the phone?"
Her: "Fuck off, you sloppy bitch!"
Me: "Wow... You rock!"
Her: "Thanks babe! You too! You know, they're prolly gonna throw this thing out now that it's damaged... I wonder if I can make off with it... I can't remember, did you want this one, or you wanna order a new one, or... ?"
Me: "Tell you what, put me down for another order, I'll wait for it. In the meantime, you place that one somewhere, and swindle it, and thank me for it some other time!"
Her: "Really?! Awwww, thank you baby! You're the best! I'm ordering you a new one right now, and EXPECT a call from me in the future! Make sure I'm the one giving it to you when you come pick it up, okay?"
Me: "Oh totally!"
Her: "Say, have you heard the album that came out called 'Look At All The Love That We Found' ?"
And this conversation went on EVEN LONGER than I quoted from it. It lasted like forever. Poor girl got in so much shit from her boss. I've never been flirted like that over the phone from a total stranger before. It was a fucking awesome experience! Woke up to being macked on by a total stranger. If only I had the balls to take initiative and ask her out... She seemed so rad... Oh well, no regrets!
Hey lovely peoples, you know what? We're not even close to done here. Yeah! Hahaha! I'm going for a record of a post. It's gonna be huge!
The only reason I made this post's readability so long and hard, is because that's the way you like it! 
Let's see... Oh yeah, before we get to some pictures, allow me to tell you about my dinner experience. I'll keep this one brief-ish, I promise.
Me and Nix are out, on one of our dinner-nights. Tonight was pasta night. We're enjoying our meal, and taking turns macking on the cutesy-as-all-fuzzy-hell waitress. Out of nowhere, a BUNCH of LG's are seated near us. There's like a dozen of them. Oh! If you don't know what an LG is, it stands for "Little Girl". It doesn't mean they're necessarily young, it just means that they act like little girls in the way that they present themselves. You know, kinda like "Valley-Girls" except they're not all trying to look the best, they're just trying to look like eachother. But the most notorious characteristic of the not-so-elusive LG is the ability to get in their pants with any single or combination of the folliwing things: alcohol, a couple years of age ahead of them, a car, or simple manipulation. "Omigawd! Like, Whateverrrrr! I totally saw that skank wearing the same thing two days ago!" You guys know what I'm fucking talking about...
Anyhow, there's a fucking dozen of them next to us. We ignored them to the best of our ability and enjoyed our meal immensely. Coincidentally, they were leaving as we were leaving. Nix pulls some of her usual mischief and pokes fun at me. Nix then grabs my jacket of the hanger and throws it onto the LG's plates of leftover food. So, quick with words and fuelled with revenge I go "Haha! Easy now Nikki, watch what you do to me! You wouldn't want me to mention VERY LOUDLY, ANYTHING ABOUT YOUR EMBARASSING RASH!" And the WHOLE restaraunt turns around, stares poor Nix down and laughs their asses off. The LG's took a moment to get it... but they eventually came around and started an eruption of sissy-giggles. I went to take a leak while Nix takes care of her half of the bill. It was so perfect. I was laughing so hard, all alone, by myself, to myself, about how genius that was. I laugh so hard while I'm filling the urinal, that like fall over and end up soaking the wall beside it. I come out still tittering like a school-girl. Smiling away at Nikki. Nikki seems giggly herself. Something's not right... The LG's are exiting the restaraunt screaming "OMIGAWD! There he is! Hahahahaha! Everyone! Look! There he is! Eeeeeew! Hahahaha! Gross! Teehee!" I look at the cute waitress, I ask her what that was all about. She goes, "That was pretty funny! Why would you talk about your own rash like that in public?"
"What?!"
"It sounded like 'Nikki, don't tell them about my rash!' And when we all asked her if that's what you said, she told us all about your little... ummm... condition..."
Nikki laughed SO hard. I explained, rather hastily, what I actually said. He all shared a laugh. But SO many people, and little tittering LG's all took off talking about the "Big Kid With The Rash"...
Ugh... Lesson learned... Be there to clarify, if your audience can't hear your revenge over their own "Omigawd" 's...
Oh man... This entry has taken me almost two fucking hours to complete... yeesh! Time to get to the "good stuff"...
Wanna see what happens when your Aunt stops by, surprises your family by taking them out to the most expensive restaraunt in the province? You start drinking for such an occassion... After six double-double-shotted-keg-sized-long-island-iced-tea's...
Aaaaahhh, facial contortion. Something I mastered long ago. Thank god this picture of my ugly mug isn't a first impression! Haha!
That's my little brother, James. Everyone calls him James. Sometimes, when he feels like acting like a retard, I call him "Jim-Fuck". He used to be a "hardcore juggalo", but now he's taking after his big brother. He's even let me give him a fauxhawk like me! Isn't that rad?!
Yes... Yes it is...
[RANDOM-CURRENT-EVENT-INTERRUPTION: Today, I went to the mall with my good buddy Roh-Ban-Cop. We picked up a nice black T-Shirt for c456's project. I'm so fucking excited for it, I can't wait! Oh, and I also bought Nix some rockstar-esque sunglasses!]
Since there's been this RIDICULOUS drought of adventure lately, I'm gonna hafta post an old one. It's new to the world of SG, but it happened like... October or some shit...
I seriously wish my friends will smarten the fuck up already. All my female friends are trying to fuck me, and all my male friends are either shit out of luck for adventure, or they're just being insociable pricks right now. Must be a full fucking moon or something, because you're all acting like a bunch of fucking retards.
Anyhow, you remember those old marble-dealies? The big colourful, plastic contraptions? You build it yourself lego-stylie, and roll a ball down it for fun? Think elementary school... It's kinda like marble-madness for the NES... But better...
Know what I'm talking about?
You do now...
It was glorious...
It stood a total of like 12 feet high, and about 16 feet across. Those pictures are decieving. I think... That's just an estimate, mind you... I was drunk, you see...
It went through three rooms: dining-room, kitchen, living-room...
It didn't come out too fast, but it was fucking hilarious and fun!
Also, please not... Lack of facial hair. A rarity with me. I usually have a goatee or chinstrap or something... Here I am clean-shaven... Treasure this moment, for these are rare...
Yup... It was hella fun... We woulda have made it waaaaaaaay bigger... But we gotta get our hands on more kits of these things. We only had two kits, because Uggy's mom is a teacher and she had them kicking around...
In all seriousness, if you got some of these Marble-Works things and wanna get rid of 'em, or know where I can score some, let me fucking know, we plan on going waaaaaaaaay bigger...
It takes a while to get to your mouth... But the sheer awesome- and rad-factors nullify anything wrong with such a device...
This is so stupid... I don't even drink often, I swear to god! I drink like less than five times a year! However... I AM legal age now... Hmmm...
I'm sorry you guys see/hear so many "alcohol-induced" adventures! We're usually sober! Most of us anyways... I got some more stale adventures kicking around on one of these computers somewhere... If you'd like, anyhow... And we always got more on the way...
Anyhow... Once again, a fucking huge post. This one's gotta be a personal record though. I've never written so much about myself... I think... It's taken me almost 150 minutes to write this. Wow. Time for fucking bed, methinks.
And again, if you've read all the way to here I fucking owe you one! Thanks for fucking everything guys and gals. You guys are true-blue!
Once more...
Sorry about the size (teeheeheeeheeeheeeeee... (sorry, it's late and I'm giggly))...
And thanks for being rad!
Take it fuckin' easy!
- The "PunkerSlut" Stoph
ADDED:
{If you're FriedHamster you've been tagged. If you're PunkNiteMike you've been tagged. If you're DireChocobo you've been tagged. If you're Temper you've been tagged. If you're Jordan you've been tagged.}
Let's rock...
Lemme just slam on the DFA1979, and get this badboy rollin'...
FUNFACT: I have the liniest hands anyone's ever seen.
They're usually called "old man hands", but I don't get why. Old man hands are wrinkley, mine are liney. I guess the lines make wrinkles, yes... but oh well. They're really soft, I swear! Except for like three heavily calloused tips due to bass (pictured in my last post)!
[EDITED TO ADD: If you're wondering why my fingertips are red, it's because I went to a Static-X concert where they used the same stage-gates as a Gwar concert two days prior. I gripped said gates for my life. (Fuck moshing when you got front-row-centre!) Gwar hosed said gates with Sharon Osbourne, Michael Jackson, and Paris Hilton blood. They tried to clean it up, but it still came off on my hands. It didn't wash off for a WEEK! Hahaha! I couldn't make the Gwar gig (sadly), but I still managed to get some Gwar on my hands and take a li'l home Gwar home with me! How rad is that!)
Well, I've been tagged (by the lovely Saraphine, I might add!). Thank god! I've been dying for some attention! Haha!
1. - What do you like more hugs or kisses?
I'm with Saraphine on this one, they both serve completely different purposes. I find hugs more consoling, and kissing more passionate, though. During sex with a girl I really like I kiss her like fucking crazy. I dunno. I'm a make-out artist.
2. - If you had to make a speech on national TV tonight what would you speak about?
Probably bless them with the wise words of my mom.
"How do you expect to be respected as an individual, if you don't accept others as individuals? Treat others how you'd like to be treated. To each his own. You're different to them as they're different to you. You're polar opposites, but the exact fucking same. Unite."
I'd probably close off with a big "Rock Fucking On!!!"
3. - If you could have one band play a private show on your birthday, what band would it be?
Probably Rancid. Or Queens Of The Stone Age. But something more punky would suit the mood. If I could have any, living or dead, Sublime, hands down.
4. - Tomorrow you can have a two hour lunch with anyone in the world, who would you have lunch with?
Oh jesus... Probably my father. I haven't spoken a word to him in like, nine years. I miss the guy. Nicest person I've ever met (even if it was just once a month).
5. - Whats your favorite body part?
Fuck dude. I love every part of the body. But I mostly love how a girl carries herself or uses it, so technically: The Brain.
6. - What are you looking forward to most this year?
There's talk of a road-trip through the states, to groupie-follow the SuicideGirls Burlesque Tour. We'd hit up all my friends in the states that I haven't seen in a year, all down the West Coast. We'd hit up every show, gig, band, and burlesque along the way. Camp out in cars. Steal personal hygiene from unsuspecting peoples' garden-hoses. And most importantly, follow SG around like a psycho ex-boyfriend.
7. - Do you ever fantasize about an old love?
Guilty as charged.
8. - What did you spend a lot of time doing as a child?
Ask as many questions about everything and anything I possibly could. Play Teenage-Mutant-Ninja-Turtles. Play Ghostbusters. Play Alien, Aliens, Alien 3. Play Transformers. Play Starship-Troopers. Play Play Play Play Play. And learn...
9. - You have been given a large sum of money to help reconstruct a struggling city, which city would you help?
The piece of shit I'm in right now. Maple fucking Ridge. It's soooooooo shitty. It needs all the helps it can get. It's nothing but Wiggers, Rednecks, and "Gangsta-Drug-Dealers". It's fucking sick. Large sum of money would be a LOT of napalm. And I'd "reconstruct" it back into the rock-and-dirt it was only ever meant to be. Hahaha! Maybe not, I'd help all the homeless in Vancouver, help criminals and druggies rehabilitate, and a LOT more prevention squads. Yeah...
10. - You are homeless. You can either stay at a hostel or with a rich but total stranger what do you do?
Stranger. I'm quite the handy sex-slave. All you gotta do is give him the time of his life any way you can, work your way into his will, and BAM! As you can tell, I'm not new to this dance-floor. I know the "stranger" option is supposed to sound risky, but it seems like a better option than "a hostel". Especially after the movie! Jeeeeez! Movies and TV don't lie! Hostels = Death.
11. - Do you think androgyny is sexy?
Sexy? No! Confusing? Yes?
12. - Have you ever been toe fucked?
I got hobbit feet dude. It ain't happening. But on the giving-end... It's might have happened... But as a joke, nothing serious...
13. - How important do you think sex appeal is in music?
It's just a flavour. I don't find punk at all sexy, but it's my favourite. I find Queens Of The Stone Age extremely sexy, and bands like them I love too! It's not needed, but it's a good taste from time-to-time.
14. - What are you wearing right now?
Osiris Louie-Barletta's (Black/Gray/Charcoal), Gray socks, brand-spankin'-new Fruit-of-the-Loom red boxer-briefs, baggy-as-hell jeans, black-and-white-checkered-stud-belt, "PNKRSLUT" belt buckle, checkered-black-and-white wristbands, SuicideGirls Men's Foil Skull Tee, ring on my middle finger, skull-and-crossbones-toque, and under that is a crusty old fauxhawk. (All of which are coincidentally in some pics in my picture-folders! I change my clothes! I swear!)
15. - How many times have you been turned on today?
Once or twice. I saw a chick with a blood-red-mohawk at the mall, 'twas freakin' rad. Insta-boner. And then I woke up thinking about the last time I got laid, so... yeah. I know, I don't think about sex often, but I'm the most over-sexed person you'll ever meet. I just can't get enough. I think that's it... I'm sexed so often that it doesn't exist in my brain, it's just in reality. I don't think about it often. Wierd for a teenage male, eh?
Well, that concludes me tagging. But my post is nowhere near done... I know... I'm sorry! I just feel the need to overcompensate for the lack of adventure going on! So yeah, lemme tell you about my day, and then I'll show you a thing or two...
I woke up to a phone call, as per usual (becuase I sleep in 'til about 1-3pm everyday). It's a chick from HMV.
Her: "Hey, is Christoph there?"
Me: "Yeah, speaking."
Brother: "He's sleeping! Call back another time!"
Me: "James you fuckin' retard, hang up! I got it!"
Brother: "No you're gay!" *CLICK*
Me: "Sorry about that!"
Her: "It's cool! Was that your li'l brother?"
Me: "Ummm... yeah... " *Thinking about what girl I know, that has my number, and doesn't know about James?!*
Her: "That was awesome! Well anyhow, I'm Megz from HMV, we finally got that Sublime CD Wallet you ordered."
Me: "Sweet shizzle almighty!"
Her: "But..."
Me: "Uh-oh..."
Her: "Yeah, there's always a 'but', isn't there? Haha! I'm sorry, but it appears to be damaged..."
Me: "Awww, that's too bad. What's the damage-report?"
Her: "Well, it looks as though if you were to open it, the zipper is gonna fall apart. If you want, you can totally like, order a new one, get this one as a discount, or forget about it completely, it's not problem."
Me: "Oh, rad. Just put me down for another one!"
Her: "Rock on! Lemme just put this into the computer here... How long did it take for you to get this, by the way?"
Me: "Hehehe, like four months."
Her: "Holy shit! And you still shop here?!"
Me: "Yeah. I'm a sucker for abuse."
Her: "So is it the Lou-Dog one, or the Blunt one? I dunno which is which, they only come up in text on the computer, so..."
Me: "The one you're holding is Lou-Dog. I already ordered and recieved the Blunt one."
Her: "Blunt eh? Haha! Sounds rad! What's it like?"
Me: "It's your typical CD Wallet with Sublime all over it, and the words are in the shape of a gi-nourmous ganja-cigarette!"
Her: "I'm sooo fucking ordering that now! Sounds super-deluxe-cool!"
Me: " It is!"
Her: "Speaking of Sublime, and the bad-boy I'm holding right now, I fucking LOVE Lou-Dog! He's so cute and so cool!"
Me: "I'm a big fan of the Lou-Dog myself, y'know!"
Her: "Really?! You'd totally love these posters we have of him right now in the store! It's all the members of Sublime and it's got Lou-Dog on the far right as one of the band members and it says -"
Me: "It says 'Sublime: Livin' with Louie-Dog's the only way to stay sane!' on the bottom!"
Her: "Yeah! You've seen them?!"
Me: "I am looking at it on my wall right now!"
Her: "Oooooh! Too coooooool!"
Co-Worker-Giving-Her-Shit-In-Background: "Shouldn't you be getting back to work instead of fucking around and flirting on the phone?"
Her: "Fuck off, you sloppy bitch!"
Me: "Wow... You rock!"
Her: "Thanks babe! You too! You know, they're prolly gonna throw this thing out now that it's damaged... I wonder if I can make off with it... I can't remember, did you want this one, or you wanna order a new one, or... ?"
Me: "Tell you what, put me down for another order, I'll wait for it. In the meantime, you place that one somewhere, and swindle it, and thank me for it some other time!"
Her: "Really?! Awwww, thank you baby! You're the best! I'm ordering you a new one right now, and EXPECT a call from me in the future! Make sure I'm the one giving it to you when you come pick it up, okay?"
Me: "Oh totally!"
Her: "Say, have you heard the album that came out called 'Look At All The Love That We Found' ?"
And this conversation went on EVEN LONGER than I quoted from it. It lasted like forever. Poor girl got in so much shit from her boss. I've never been flirted like that over the phone from a total stranger before. It was a fucking awesome experience! Woke up to being macked on by a total stranger. If only I had the balls to take initiative and ask her out... She seemed so rad... Oh well, no regrets!
Hey lovely peoples, you know what? We're not even close to done here. Yeah! Hahaha! I'm going for a record of a post. It's gonna be huge!
The only reason I made this post's readability so long and hard, is because that's the way you like it!
Let's see... Oh yeah, before we get to some pictures, allow me to tell you about my dinner experience. I'll keep this one brief-ish, I promise.
Me and Nix are out, on one of our dinner-nights. Tonight was pasta night. We're enjoying our meal, and taking turns macking on the cutesy-as-all-fuzzy-hell waitress. Out of nowhere, a BUNCH of LG's are seated near us. There's like a dozen of them. Oh! If you don't know what an LG is, it stands for "Little Girl". It doesn't mean they're necessarily young, it just means that they act like little girls in the way that they present themselves. You know, kinda like "Valley-Girls" except they're not all trying to look the best, they're just trying to look like eachother. But the most notorious characteristic of the not-so-elusive LG is the ability to get in their pants with any single or combination of the folliwing things: alcohol, a couple years of age ahead of them, a car, or simple manipulation. "Omigawd! Like, Whateverrrrr! I totally saw that skank wearing the same thing two days ago!" You guys know what I'm fucking talking about...
Anyhow, there's a fucking dozen of them next to us. We ignored them to the best of our ability and enjoyed our meal immensely. Coincidentally, they were leaving as we were leaving. Nix pulls some of her usual mischief and pokes fun at me. Nix then grabs my jacket of the hanger and throws it onto the LG's plates of leftover food. So, quick with words and fuelled with revenge I go "Haha! Easy now Nikki, watch what you do to me! You wouldn't want me to mention VERY LOUDLY, ANYTHING ABOUT YOUR EMBARASSING RASH!" And the WHOLE restaraunt turns around, stares poor Nix down and laughs their asses off. The LG's took a moment to get it... but they eventually came around and started an eruption of sissy-giggles. I went to take a leak while Nix takes care of her half of the bill. It was so perfect. I was laughing so hard, all alone, by myself, to myself, about how genius that was. I laugh so hard while I'm filling the urinal, that like fall over and end up soaking the wall beside it. I come out still tittering like a school-girl. Smiling away at Nikki. Nikki seems giggly herself. Something's not right... The LG's are exiting the restaraunt screaming "OMIGAWD! There he is! Hahahahaha! Everyone! Look! There he is! Eeeeeew! Hahahaha! Gross! Teehee!" I look at the cute waitress, I ask her what that was all about. She goes, "That was pretty funny! Why would you talk about your own rash like that in public?"
"What?!"
"It sounded like 'Nikki, don't tell them about my rash!' And when we all asked her if that's what you said, she told us all about your little... ummm... condition..."
Nikki laughed SO hard. I explained, rather hastily, what I actually said. He all shared a laugh. But SO many people, and little tittering LG's all took off talking about the "Big Kid With The Rash"...
Ugh... Lesson learned... Be there to clarify, if your audience can't hear your revenge over their own "Omigawd" 's...
Oh man... This entry has taken me almost two fucking hours to complete... yeesh! Time to get to the "good stuff"...
Wanna see what happens when your Aunt stops by, surprises your family by taking them out to the most expensive restaraunt in the province? You start drinking for such an occassion... After six double-double-shotted-keg-sized-long-island-iced-tea's...
Aaaaahhh, facial contortion. Something I mastered long ago. Thank god this picture of my ugly mug isn't a first impression! Haha!
That's my little brother, James. Everyone calls him James. Sometimes, when he feels like acting like a retard, I call him "Jim-Fuck". He used to be a "hardcore juggalo", but now he's taking after his big brother. He's even let me give him a fauxhawk like me! Isn't that rad?!
Yes... Yes it is...
[RANDOM-CURRENT-EVENT-INTERRUPTION: Today, I went to the mall with my good buddy Roh-Ban-Cop. We picked up a nice black T-Shirt for c456's project. I'm so fucking excited for it, I can't wait! Oh, and I also bought Nix some rockstar-esque sunglasses!]
Since there's been this RIDICULOUS drought of adventure lately, I'm gonna hafta post an old one. It's new to the world of SG, but it happened like... October or some shit...
I seriously wish my friends will smarten the fuck up already. All my female friends are trying to fuck me, and all my male friends are either shit out of luck for adventure, or they're just being insociable pricks right now. Must be a full fucking moon or something, because you're all acting like a bunch of fucking retards.
Anyhow, you remember those old marble-dealies? The big colourful, plastic contraptions? You build it yourself lego-stylie, and roll a ball down it for fun? Think elementary school... It's kinda like marble-madness for the NES... But better...
Know what I'm talking about?
You do now...
It was glorious...
It stood a total of like 12 feet high, and about 16 feet across. Those pictures are decieving. I think... That's just an estimate, mind you... I was drunk, you see...
It went through three rooms: dining-room, kitchen, living-room...
It didn't come out too fast, but it was fucking hilarious and fun!
Also, please not... Lack of facial hair. A rarity with me. I usually have a goatee or chinstrap or something... Here I am clean-shaven... Treasure this moment, for these are rare...
Yup... It was hella fun... We woulda have made it waaaaaaaay bigger... But we gotta get our hands on more kits of these things. We only had two kits, because Uggy's mom is a teacher and she had them kicking around...
In all seriousness, if you got some of these Marble-Works things and wanna get rid of 'em, or know where I can score some, let me fucking know, we plan on going waaaaaaaaay bigger...
It takes a while to get to your mouth... But the sheer awesome- and rad-factors nullify anything wrong with such a device...
This is so stupid... I don't even drink often, I swear to god! I drink like less than five times a year! However... I AM legal age now... Hmmm...
I'm sorry you guys see/hear so many "alcohol-induced" adventures! We're usually sober! Most of us anyways... I got some more stale adventures kicking around on one of these computers somewhere... If you'd like, anyhow... And we always got more on the way...
Anyhow... Once again, a fucking huge post. This one's gotta be a personal record though. I've never written so much about myself... I think... It's taken me almost 150 minutes to write this. Wow. Time for fucking bed, methinks.
And again, if you've read all the way to here I fucking owe you one! Thanks for fucking everything guys and gals. You guys are true-blue!
Once more...
Sorry about the size (teeheeheeeheeeheeeeee... (sorry, it's late and I'm giggly))...
And thanks for being rad!
Take it fuckin' easy!
- The "PunkerSlut" Stoph
ADDED:
{If you're FriedHamster you've been tagged. If you're PunkNiteMike you've been tagged. If you're DireChocobo you've been tagged. If you're Temper you've been tagged. If you're Jordan you've been tagged.}
VIEW 25 of 71 COMMENTS
and i didn't follow the boy here, i met him about 6 months after i moved, but he was my main reason for staying. he and i are still friends, but no longer dating.
and funnily enough, about 50% of the reason why i'm moving back to winnipeg is cuz of a boy. you boy types make me so fucking crazy!!