song

I know he won't ever see this so i'm using this entry to scream : i'm sick from the mess that my romantic life has become. In every which way. He is a liar. A fucking liar. And he has the nerve to think he can still be my friend after fucking me over so royally. I hate people who mislead you. I was stupid to fall for that spoiled little rich boy rebel without a cause. I'm serious when I describe that this love of mine is a passionate human one moment and then like a snap turns into a feelingless robot. And i fucking know he has feelings, but he'll NEVER show them to me and that's just not good enough. There are other lovers out there who will let me in. Who won't lie. Who won't run hot and cold. Someone who has always been so beautiful to me is daily turning ulgy. As fuckin dubbya couldn't put it I will : FOOL ME ONCE SHAME ON YOU. FOOL ME TWICE SHAME ON ME. and it really is such a shame because if nothing else, anyone should feel lucky if I care enough to love them. With all the hate and anger i feel towards so much in this world - i took the time to be courageous and love him so dearly.

leave it to diane arbus to capture the feeling of today . . . . Hand Grenade