somuchrain

I'm convinced, half drunk, at 4.19 and all, that most of the important moments can be summarized by showing a person the Cat Power "Lived in Bars" video - that's just sort of it. There's a back-story to this, that involves a dinner conversation with my mother about "hope" and "despair" and " ....... 'revolution' ....... " and my trying to convince her that however much I wished killing a top hat would make a difference, it is in convincing people that they are miserable, no matter how happy they feel, that politics, or rather, art, or wait .... i think yes ... politics .no.art. wait politics yes politics it's misery that a new world lies .... no lies yes lay down it is in making everyone sure that there is something better than even their best moments that art is wait was no was is that it will be ? there needs to be a new world for politics to lie down upon to sleep when its too tired and scared to organize and make certain of feeling you know that moment when "The Boxer" stops being "simply" a love story, and starts being a story or nationalism without politics? That's the border that politics needs to always live on right?

There's something significant watching another person be perfectly happy, and perfectly part of something. However much we hold onto our "thinspiration" and triggers and all the things we know will make us miserable and thus, duh, much better artists, with the drinking, smoking, and assorted self-abuse contests that accompany and prove it all without ever quite being able to say what 'it' is.

that'll come later I imagine, with photographs of the desk that she stained to make a kitchen table out of, the kettle mamo gave her, and the bule cabinets that smell like turf.