The Bad News:
-I had to work today.
The Good News:
-But the Boy walked me to work and I ended up not having to go to the doctor's appointment that would have made me rush.
The Bad News:
-It was really busy at work and there were lots of orders to work on.
The Good News:
-But my favorite co-worker was in and she spent all evening with me helping me finish orders and chatting.
The Bad News:
-Once she left I had to deal with a scary crack-head customer for close to an hour. He was sweating like crazy, and his hands were shaking and he kept saying weird things. I was all alone on my side of the store, boxed into behind my copy centre and he was making me feel very uncomforable just by being there. I went to my manager and explained and asked if he could come be near me to make me feel safe. He said "He's harmless" and went to go stock shelves. I had to talk to the crack-head for at least 45 minutes, and he took apart all my business card sample binders, made me copy 35 of the pages for him, and mixed up the order. He then found the other book, and when I asked him not to take pages out, he did anyways. He finally left without buying anything, only to spend an hour in the computer section bugging the computer associates. I was completey nervous and shaken for the last hour and 45 minutes of my shift, and a really resent my manager for not making me feel safe when I asked him to.
The Good News:
-The Boy (who is currently a semi-recovering alcoholic) had the whole day off today, and when I called him twice to check up he hadn't been drinking. The last three days he had off he sounded drunk ont he phone, but once I accused him, he turned out to be sober. This time I knew he'd be sober, so I finally put my faith in him, and didn't let myself worry. When I got home, I didn't even need to check for signs of drinking, because I knew he loves me, and that this time (after 47 days of sobriety) he would be sober for sure. I made sure to tell him several times how proud I was that he stayed sober, and how happy I was to be with him. I said "You don't even know how much it means to me that you didn't drink today" he smiled and hugged me.
The Bad News:
-As I rested my head on his chest, feeling so happy with how my nerve-wracking day had ended, I smelt his breath. I asking him again if he'd been drinking, and this time he said yes.
So...
I don't mean to sound like a whiner, but I've been feeling like an emotional wreck lately, and I don't know how to handle things anymore.
I hate my job, I've been there almost two years and I still get zero respect from my co-workers. The customers are mean and awful, and 50% of the management refuses to help out or stand up for the staff. The hours suck, and lately I can't help but take all the stress with me when I get home. I find myself dreading going to work every morning and crying for an hour every night when I get home.
I feel very drained and depressed. I've been off anti-depressants for just over a year, but the last few weeks I feel like I might need them again. I feel like this drinking thing is the straw that broke the camel's back, and I can't deal with this alcoholism anymore.
We've been living together for amost a year, and although he's doing much better than when we first moved in, I still feel like I have a huge weight on my shoulders and a huge dagger hanging over my head. Every time I leave the house and he's home I spend my whole day wondering if he will be passed out when I return. Then when he stays sober long enough for me to let my guard down, he gets drunk again. I'm terrified about christmas, because he has christmas eve day off, and I work. What if my parents pick him up and he humiliates me if front of them again?
I know it's my choice to live with him, and maybe I've made my own bed here, but I feel like I can't handle this happening again. It's taxing enough on a good day, but I'm feeling like I'm stressed to the max already, and that I don't even have the emotional resources to deal with this.
I don't even know why I'm posting this here, I'm not expecting advice or anything, I just have no clue how to react right now.
On the bright side: My cat is very cute, and she's sleeping next to me right now.
[/RANT]
-I had to work today.
The Good News:
-But the Boy walked me to work and I ended up not having to go to the doctor's appointment that would have made me rush.
The Bad News:
-It was really busy at work and there were lots of orders to work on.
The Good News:
-But my favorite co-worker was in and she spent all evening with me helping me finish orders and chatting.
The Bad News:
-Once she left I had to deal with a scary crack-head customer for close to an hour. He was sweating like crazy, and his hands were shaking and he kept saying weird things. I was all alone on my side of the store, boxed into behind my copy centre and he was making me feel very uncomforable just by being there. I went to my manager and explained and asked if he could come be near me to make me feel safe. He said "He's harmless" and went to go stock shelves. I had to talk to the crack-head for at least 45 minutes, and he took apart all my business card sample binders, made me copy 35 of the pages for him, and mixed up the order. He then found the other book, and when I asked him not to take pages out, he did anyways. He finally left without buying anything, only to spend an hour in the computer section bugging the computer associates. I was completey nervous and shaken for the last hour and 45 minutes of my shift, and a really resent my manager for not making me feel safe when I asked him to.
The Good News:
-The Boy (who is currently a semi-recovering alcoholic) had the whole day off today, and when I called him twice to check up he hadn't been drinking. The last three days he had off he sounded drunk ont he phone, but once I accused him, he turned out to be sober. This time I knew he'd be sober, so I finally put my faith in him, and didn't let myself worry. When I got home, I didn't even need to check for signs of drinking, because I knew he loves me, and that this time (after 47 days of sobriety) he would be sober for sure. I made sure to tell him several times how proud I was that he stayed sober, and how happy I was to be with him. I said "You don't even know how much it means to me that you didn't drink today" he smiled and hugged me.
The Bad News:
-As I rested my head on his chest, feeling so happy with how my nerve-wracking day had ended, I smelt his breath. I asking him again if he'd been drinking, and this time he said yes.
So...
I don't mean to sound like a whiner, but I've been feeling like an emotional wreck lately, and I don't know how to handle things anymore.
I hate my job, I've been there almost two years and I still get zero respect from my co-workers. The customers are mean and awful, and 50% of the management refuses to help out or stand up for the staff. The hours suck, and lately I can't help but take all the stress with me when I get home. I find myself dreading going to work every morning and crying for an hour every night when I get home.
I feel very drained and depressed. I've been off anti-depressants for just over a year, but the last few weeks I feel like I might need them again. I feel like this drinking thing is the straw that broke the camel's back, and I can't deal with this alcoholism anymore.
We've been living together for amost a year, and although he's doing much better than when we first moved in, I still feel like I have a huge weight on my shoulders and a huge dagger hanging over my head. Every time I leave the house and he's home I spend my whole day wondering if he will be passed out when I return. Then when he stays sober long enough for me to let my guard down, he gets drunk again. I'm terrified about christmas, because he has christmas eve day off, and I work. What if my parents pick him up and he humiliates me if front of them again?
I know it's my choice to live with him, and maybe I've made my own bed here, but I feel like I can't handle this happening again. It's taxing enough on a good day, but I'm feeling like I'm stressed to the max already, and that I don't even have the emotional resources to deal with this.
I don't even know why I'm posting this here, I'm not expecting advice or anything, I just have no clue how to react right now.
On the bright side: My cat is very cute, and she's sleeping next to me right now.
[/RANT]
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
- Your job sounded screwed up and if it continues like that maybe you should look into another job.
-That manager sounds like he/she thinks they are above the drama of customers until they are Required
- Has the boy looked into AA? Perhaps the process and structure could help him to quit. Other than that just let him know how happy you are when he doesnt drink and that he has your support.
- I love animals, whats her name?
I worked with an alcoholic boss, who made our lifes hell at times. I ended up leaving that job with nothing to go to and it was a scarry time for me. Things worked out in the end and I felt 100 times better for going.
I am not trying to suggest what you should do, that is your choice, but alcoholism is a very difficult addiction to deal with. If your bf drinks, it does not mean that he does not love you, but addiction can dominate the life of the addict and their loved ones.
I have a cousin in America who is a reformed alcoholic, and he has kept of the booze for a long time, but not everyone is that strong.
It's good that you have the commitment to help him, but you need to think about yourself too.
Whatever choice you make, I wish you well.