abstracted from the shangri-la that I dreamed would last forever blinded from seeing any place of complete bliss, my eyes have been ripped out
Thrown into that place again where hope is like looking for a shadow in darkness and told time and time again that things would get better
I am the king of lies as I try to tell myself that I'm OK
and there is nothing left of the person I once was
My heart is once again broken, but from a new source, myself.
As I feel around in my kingdom-desolation, painted in black like oil from the ground,I pick up the pieces of my shattered heart and begin to put them back together. I place them in order from the smallest to the largest each time seeing a memory that I thought was beautiful, pure and lovely not realizing that as I'm putting my heart back together, it begins to get cold.
As I put the final pieces into place my heart is a blue piece of ice beating ever so slightly, just enough to keep me alive. I place it back into my chest and give a sigh of relief trying to pace myself, I have to learn how to breath in a new way to accommodate my newly reformed heart.
I struggle and fight to stop the voice within taking over telling me the same thing. Then I give into the darkness, give into my new heart, laying in the darkness and coming to terms with the truth
my heart will be cold and a piece of ice, nothing more
All things laying in waste due to my imbecility are flashing before my eyes. Nothing I've done matters, everyting I am is comsumed in bile.
I am just a rotten piece of meat that has no meaning or purpose in the world anymore. I cant stand the Idea of making my life any better because I start to get a sick feeling in my stomach. Its a deep encloseing feeling as if my body is caving into itself. I cant see anything anymore, so why keep my eyes inside my head when all I see is my failure, my curse.
Thrown into that place again where hope is like looking for a shadow in darkness and told time and time again that things would get better
I am the king of lies as I try to tell myself that I'm OK
and there is nothing left of the person I once was
My heart is once again broken, but from a new source, myself.
As I feel around in my kingdom-desolation, painted in black like oil from the ground,I pick up the pieces of my shattered heart and begin to put them back together. I place them in order from the smallest to the largest each time seeing a memory that I thought was beautiful, pure and lovely not realizing that as I'm putting my heart back together, it begins to get cold.
As I put the final pieces into place my heart is a blue piece of ice beating ever so slightly, just enough to keep me alive. I place it back into my chest and give a sigh of relief trying to pace myself, I have to learn how to breath in a new way to accommodate my newly reformed heart.
I struggle and fight to stop the voice within taking over telling me the same thing. Then I give into the darkness, give into my new heart, laying in the darkness and coming to terms with the truth
my heart will be cold and a piece of ice, nothing more
All things laying in waste due to my imbecility are flashing before my eyes. Nothing I've done matters, everyting I am is comsumed in bile.
I am just a rotten piece of meat that has no meaning or purpose in the world anymore. I cant stand the Idea of making my life any better because I start to get a sick feeling in my stomach. Its a deep encloseing feeling as if my body is caving into itself. I cant see anything anymore, so why keep my eyes inside my head when all I see is my failure, my curse.