decided to keep the account for right now. don't want to have to bother re-establishing all my preferences after a month off. shit, it's only a few bucks a month.
i was sitting here, tired and a little high on coffee after a long work day of not much exciting going on. i was sitting, and for some reason this old porno flashed in my mind from long ago.
i was maybe 18 when i saw it. nothing much was remarkable about the flim. the bored looking actresses, the overheated men, the grainy worn-out quality of every piss-poor low rent late 80's early 90's porno film.
what was striking about the flim however, was not the women or the tits or the postures or the fake orgasms. what was striking about the movie was that it had been filmed just a week or two after the last great San Fran earthquake.
this was not immediately explained. the actors and actresses just fucked away, jackhammering in a blank white walled room. they were fucking next to giant slabs of concrete and rock that had either been thrust up out of the earth into the apartment, or had fallen down from the apartments above. dust was over everything. out the window you could see slight evidence of a city in destruction.
they never said a thing about it. it was as if they just had a script that was 'written' before the earthquake, and then just decided to film it without changes afterwards. in the same place. with concrete fucking pillars laying about.
it was a surreal experience. i had to watch it (and again, it WASN'T all that good or stimulating of a film) ten times before i understood.
it wasn't even explained on the cover, or on the brief description of 'studs fucking and sluts sucking' on the back.
crazy that i just remembered that for the first time since i'd seen it.
i dunno
me
ps- i felt like shit today. just so much seems to be falling down around me. i'm pretty insecure about my job capabilities and my future prospects and that i keep pushing women out of my life when they threaten to break down a little wall that i never realized i could put up (i mean, i'm just not supposed to be that kind of guy).
but i got to talk about it for an hour with a friend. man, i just need to stop isolating myself. everything is better when i get to talk about it
i was sitting here, tired and a little high on coffee after a long work day of not much exciting going on. i was sitting, and for some reason this old porno flashed in my mind from long ago.
i was maybe 18 when i saw it. nothing much was remarkable about the flim. the bored looking actresses, the overheated men, the grainy worn-out quality of every piss-poor low rent late 80's early 90's porno film.
what was striking about the flim however, was not the women or the tits or the postures or the fake orgasms. what was striking about the movie was that it had been filmed just a week or two after the last great San Fran earthquake.
this was not immediately explained. the actors and actresses just fucked away, jackhammering in a blank white walled room. they were fucking next to giant slabs of concrete and rock that had either been thrust up out of the earth into the apartment, or had fallen down from the apartments above. dust was over everything. out the window you could see slight evidence of a city in destruction.
they never said a thing about it. it was as if they just had a script that was 'written' before the earthquake, and then just decided to film it without changes afterwards. in the same place. with concrete fucking pillars laying about.
it was a surreal experience. i had to watch it (and again, it WASN'T all that good or stimulating of a film) ten times before i understood.
it wasn't even explained on the cover, or on the brief description of 'studs fucking and sluts sucking' on the back.
crazy that i just remembered that for the first time since i'd seen it.
i dunno
me
ps- i felt like shit today. just so much seems to be falling down around me. i'm pretty insecure about my job capabilities and my future prospects and that i keep pushing women out of my life when they threaten to break down a little wall that i never realized i could put up (i mean, i'm just not supposed to be that kind of guy).
but i got to talk about it for an hour with a friend. man, i just need to stop isolating myself. everything is better when i get to talk about it
VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
tessabbie:
you are the sweetest! thanks for the comment in my journal. i know it's ok to be sad sometimes, but i just hate when it lasts more than a day or two. now, if i could just quit crying so much.....argh!
normlisovrated:
sounds like a pretty rotten day... thanx for bein my friend btw. accept this 
and smile 
and smile