I have decided, in my infinite wisdom, that the "Dirty Talk" forum is useless.
Well, I mean, I suppose all forums are pretty useless, but still. I'm looking at the threads here...let's just go through them, okay?
Goatse - A thread dedicated to someone posting a picture of them reenacting goatse.cx. Okay, it's been done, but it has a certain nostalgia charm. I remember when I used to be in some way bothered by that image. I'll let it slide.
What does 'powerfuck' mean? - This is a question about a term used on ebaumsworld. Yeah. Trust me, the people there know their shit.
Stick it in My Dirty Ass - This thread is 17 PAGES. Of people saying, "Bump." And "lol this thread is the best." WOO HOO!!!
saggy balls - Complaints about saggy balls. WELL EXCUSE ME BUT MY BALLS AREN'T FUCKING INTERNAL, OKAY??? WHEN IT'S WARM, THEY HANG, WHEN IT'S COLD, NOT SO MUCH!! FUCKING BLOW ME!!! Besides, they're fucking testicles. Sure, it's cute when a woman starts that thread, but let's go see what happens when I start a thread about how I hate distended labias. Just fucking deal, you picky, porno-saturated children of the internet.
Just like in the movies - "I don't mean is anyone macho enough... but has anyone gotten a blowjob from a girl, or anyone given one, just by asking/being asked?"
Yeah, one time my mom introduced me to this friend of hers and I was like hi and then I just fuckin' went down on her. I am such hot shit.
Perpetual 'got some' thread - I really like that moment, you know, the postcoital afterglow where you're both sweating and panting and then she says "Let's cuddle" and you jump out of bed and say "NO HOLD ON I MUST POST ABOUT THE SEXUAL EXPERIENCE WE HAVE JUST SHARED ON THE INTERNET!!" Because I'm a romantic at heart.
the tall girl appeciation thread - Whatever. I like talking trash about things I have no particular problem with, but in this case nothing's coming to mind. So I'll just say I have no particular problem with it.
the penis?? ugly?? - First of all, yes. I mean, I'm sorry, but yes. Have you ever seen those threads where guys post pictures of their cocks? Nothing else, just a big (or not so big) ol' dick on the screen. And you sit there thinking, "Okay. You are anatomically correct. Congratulations." There's just no eroticism to the fuckin' thing. I dunno. I suppose if I swung the other way, I might see it differently, but I've heard this from women too. Second of all, the point the guy is making is that vaginas are ugly. And while there are, truthfully, a few covers of pornos that I've seen that make an absolutely stunning argument to that effect, I'm really not sure that it's the best point to make at a site about naked women. Unsurprisingly, there is a four page dogpile on the guy who would dare say such a thing, I'm pretty indifferent to that, too. Who gives a shit if some guy thinks they're ugly? More for me.
Except that's not how life works and I'm damn near celibate.
Shit.
help me come inside a girl - Um. Okay. How about when you're fucking her, I'll just jam my hand inside your girl's cunt and jerk you off from the inside? Short of that, I can't see any solution that you can't work out between the two of you fucking for extended periods of time and, like, finding out about each other's bodies. You know, the way people used to before there was an internet to post on. God, were we ever so young?
Whatever. Someone's going to get upset about this, I know it. So no, I wasn't trying to sass anyone, I'm just sorta bored and feel like writing about something that has nothing to do with PETA, which was the subject of my damnable research paper (which I got a "B" on despite having a shitty thesis [some bullshit to the effect of "PETA's shock tactics such as posting a billboard of Mayor Rudolph Giuliani with a milk moustache and the slogan "Got cancer?" is an effective way of getting their message across, in spite of naysayer's complaints] and with almost no research whatsoever). So I defaulted to insulting things on the internet. It's fun, it's therapeutic, you should all try it some time.
Well, I mean, I suppose all forums are pretty useless, but still. I'm looking at the threads here...let's just go through them, okay?
Goatse - A thread dedicated to someone posting a picture of them reenacting goatse.cx. Okay, it's been done, but it has a certain nostalgia charm. I remember when I used to be in some way bothered by that image. I'll let it slide.
What does 'powerfuck' mean? - This is a question about a term used on ebaumsworld. Yeah. Trust me, the people there know their shit.
Stick it in My Dirty Ass - This thread is 17 PAGES. Of people saying, "Bump." And "lol this thread is the best." WOO HOO!!!
saggy balls - Complaints about saggy balls. WELL EXCUSE ME BUT MY BALLS AREN'T FUCKING INTERNAL, OKAY??? WHEN IT'S WARM, THEY HANG, WHEN IT'S COLD, NOT SO MUCH!! FUCKING BLOW ME!!! Besides, they're fucking testicles. Sure, it's cute when a woman starts that thread, but let's go see what happens when I start a thread about how I hate distended labias. Just fucking deal, you picky, porno-saturated children of the internet.
Just like in the movies - "I don't mean is anyone macho enough... but has anyone gotten a blowjob from a girl, or anyone given one, just by asking/being asked?"
Yeah, one time my mom introduced me to this friend of hers and I was like hi and then I just fuckin' went down on her. I am such hot shit.
Perpetual 'got some' thread - I really like that moment, you know, the postcoital afterglow where you're both sweating and panting and then she says "Let's cuddle" and you jump out of bed and say "NO HOLD ON I MUST POST ABOUT THE SEXUAL EXPERIENCE WE HAVE JUST SHARED ON THE INTERNET!!" Because I'm a romantic at heart.
the tall girl appeciation thread - Whatever. I like talking trash about things I have no particular problem with, but in this case nothing's coming to mind. So I'll just say I have no particular problem with it.
the penis?? ugly?? - First of all, yes. I mean, I'm sorry, but yes. Have you ever seen those threads where guys post pictures of their cocks? Nothing else, just a big (or not so big) ol' dick on the screen. And you sit there thinking, "Okay. You are anatomically correct. Congratulations." There's just no eroticism to the fuckin' thing. I dunno. I suppose if I swung the other way, I might see it differently, but I've heard this from women too. Second of all, the point the guy is making is that vaginas are ugly. And while there are, truthfully, a few covers of pornos that I've seen that make an absolutely stunning argument to that effect, I'm really not sure that it's the best point to make at a site about naked women. Unsurprisingly, there is a four page dogpile on the guy who would dare say such a thing, I'm pretty indifferent to that, too. Who gives a shit if some guy thinks they're ugly? More for me.
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help me come inside a girl - Um. Okay. How about when you're fucking her, I'll just jam my hand inside your girl's cunt and jerk you off from the inside? Short of that, I can't see any solution that you can't work out between the two of you fucking for extended periods of time and, like, finding out about each other's bodies. You know, the way people used to before there was an internet to post on. God, were we ever so young?
Whatever. Someone's going to get upset about this, I know it. So no, I wasn't trying to sass anyone, I'm just sorta bored and feel like writing about something that has nothing to do with PETA, which was the subject of my damnable research paper (which I got a "B" on despite having a shitty thesis [some bullshit to the effect of "PETA's shock tactics such as posting a billboard of Mayor Rudolph Giuliani with a milk moustache and the slogan "Got cancer?" is an effective way of getting their message across, in spite of naysayer's complaints] and with almost no research whatsoever). So I defaulted to insulting things on the internet. It's fun, it's therapeutic, you should all try it some time.