If not for one thing, I would have a completely ordinary life. I would watch TV, study for classes, chat with friends, and overall I would actually be better off than most.
Of course, if it wasn't for it I might not be in college. In fact there's a good chance I would be working a minimum wage job somewhere, getting by day to day, but I would be happy. Not as driven, not as smart, but happy.
But there's always this feeling, that I should be doing something. Something important. I don't know what it is, but it's always there. That feeling. Waiting for a moment where I don't keep myself busy. The nagging sensation that there is something vitally important to do, and that every second I spend not doing it is one second too long.
And so I learn. Trying to better myself, figure out what it is. I start clubs to keep myself busy, and on the off chance that they will somehow lead to whatever it is I am supposed to be doing. I work on my art, when I can, to distract myself. I take a lot of asprin when I get the headaches.
And I wonder what it is that Im supposed to do.
I think I will find it eventually, whatever it is. And somehow things will be better once I do. Not just for me, but for everyone it touches. Whatever it is I have to do, Ive the feeling it's a "Win win" thing for everyone involved
Edit : And if anyone else feels like I do... Give a shout out, Im sure we could help each other figure out whatever the heck it is we have to do
Of course, if it wasn't for it I might not be in college. In fact there's a good chance I would be working a minimum wage job somewhere, getting by day to day, but I would be happy. Not as driven, not as smart, but happy.
But there's always this feeling, that I should be doing something. Something important. I don't know what it is, but it's always there. That feeling. Waiting for a moment where I don't keep myself busy. The nagging sensation that there is something vitally important to do, and that every second I spend not doing it is one second too long.
And so I learn. Trying to better myself, figure out what it is. I start clubs to keep myself busy, and on the off chance that they will somehow lead to whatever it is I am supposed to be doing. I work on my art, when I can, to distract myself. I take a lot of asprin when I get the headaches.
And I wonder what it is that Im supposed to do.
I think I will find it eventually, whatever it is. And somehow things will be better once I do. Not just for me, but for everyone it touches. Whatever it is I have to do, Ive the feeling it's a "Win win" thing for everyone involved
Edit : And if anyone else feels like I do... Give a shout out, Im sure we could help each other figure out whatever the heck it is we have to do
lycoris:
I felt the same way at 22. So did everyone else I know! It's normal, and probably a necessary part of growing up. Keep moving, any direction, just don't stagnate.
nexttuesday:
Happy National Chicken Appreciation Day!