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Ahh, everything is amess, my room, my school work, my life. I feel like I am being pulled in a million different directions. I signed a lease today at a new apartment, im not sure how i feel about that yet. I have so much work to do for school and I just dont want to do it. I just want a breather...and well Spring...
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Im off to see the girls show....so excited!! Cant wait to see ya! ok, gotta go get ready!
VIEW 6 of 6 COMMENTS
raen:
hey lady, i saw the show the night before in miami... very hot. the chocolate syrup was just the most perfect, beautiful thing. shame we couldn't hook up at the same show.
quickdrawgc:
I really wanted to go to the show but i had to work that day, im horribly jealus.
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Ahh..back to school. As a new semester and a new year starts, I think about myself and where I am going...suprise: a black screen. But today I feel this is a good thing. I am always troubling myself with hopes and dreams and disappointing myself when they don't come true. I think if I leave them out and just go blindly then I wont disappoint...
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hastwothumbs:
Haha. My sister's a gemini and she does the same thing.

Personally, I disagree with your views on not setting dreams. I, too, know what it's like to fail in a desired task. In fact, one might say I'm pretty successful at failing. However, Alan Moore, a favorite author of mine, said something like, "Always set goals that are above and beyond your reach. After all, if you achieve all your dreams, what are you left with? You've nothing to strive for."
This struck a chord with me. So now I set my sights impossibly high. For example, one of my goals is to be a successful writer. But I want to write comic books as well as novels. So I'm aiming at becoming a success in both fields and dreaming about raising aawareness about the comic book field, you know, trying to bring a little more respectability to it. I'm not sure how you feel about the medium, but I personally feel it's a very valid one. Like Harvey Pekar said, "Comics are just words and pictures. You can do anything with words and pictures."

Although, I know this is a very, very difficult (if not utterly impossible) task, I'm still going to try.

If I fail, I fail. And I'll kick myself for it in the morning. Until then, I'll let my dreams run rampant. smile

And I always seem to ramble when I post in your journal. wink
But here's some more: Good for you in letting yourself go with the fun. But don't count on it to come to you. I've wasted years of my life hoping for divine intervention to deliver happiness to me. And it's yet to arrive. frown (Although, I can't say that I regret much. So that's a sure-fire sign of a good life.)
Going with the flow is great, but it'll only take you so far. Create your own good times. And may you find them in abundance. smile
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Well, I am feeling lonely today. My 2 roomies are fighting with their boyfriends, and as much as I hate hearing them fight it just reminds me that I have no one to fight with. It sucks, and I am suporsed to be studying for my final exam on tues and all I want to do is be alone and not think, although is that...
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quickdrawgc:
Are you taking finals at UCF?
hastwothumbs:
Buck up, little hero. I'm going to try to offer some advice, but to do so I'll have to assume a few things. Please forgive me if my assumptions are incorrect and I end up looking like an asshole or something.

First off, let me confess that I look at life as one long learning experience. Hopefully, that will help you understand where I'm coming from and ease the brunt of some of my statements.

Sure, being alone after a relationship of any length is hard. But that's really only because it's hard to let go of a set way of living. In this case, you've had this guy as a supporting column to your spiritual... well, temple (my analogy's need work). You've obviously spent a long time with this guy. And any change, relationship-wise or otherwise, is scary.
You're still young and have an entire liftetime ahead of you. Five years ago, both of you were what? Fourteen? Think about the reasons you entered into the relationship. With most teenagers, relationships are caused by need not want. (The need for a kindred friend to help fight off the world because, at that time more than ever, you feel alone; I hope that makes sense.)
Are you still the same person now that you were then? Of course not. You've learned and grown. Your needs and wants have changed, most likely. And with that growth, you and your ex-boyfriend apparently started traveling down different paths. This is normal. And even if you hadn't ended it when you did, think about ten years from now. Your ideals will be radically different in comparison to you now and five years ago. ESPECIALLY in comparison to you five years ago.
Use this period to contemplate what makes you happy and what you're looking for in a mate. You might be surprised with what you come up with. (I know I was a little surprised when I figured out what I was looking for.) Also, try to keep in mind that the characteristics that appeal to you might change over time. Sorry - I know I'm pretty much asking you to predict the future, which is impossible, but it can't hurt to try, right?
Yeah, we would all like to live the "childhood sweetheart evolving into lifetime romance" fantasy. But, honestly, how boring is that? Think of all the people you've been involved with in your life so far (romantically and platonically). How have they influenced you? Now try to imagine that, for the rest of your life, you're with this guy. Don't you think it would limit you in terms of being exposed to new influences? After all, your friends and lovers affect you in different ways.

So let me be the first to congratulate you: You're beginning a new journey which will help form you into the best you imaginable.
Just as there will be ups, there will be downs, sure. But the only way you can truly be defeated is if you allow yourself to cease motion. Only motion can bring life. If you stand still, you'll stagnate.

Use the past to influence you, not define you. (Now I know that doesn't make much sense, but I can't think of a better way to phrase it. Sorry.)

And if you ever want to yell at someone, I have a thick hide. Just click on my name and leave a message in my journal. Or if you do it in yours, I'll try my best to stop by regularly. (My name changes a lot, though, so if you want to add me to your friend list, feel free.)

smile
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Ahh, study study study, I am so tired of studying. But it's ok, Tues I will be done with classes for this semester. Plus I have a mighty stress releaver tonight....a massive party! It's not like I will find anyone fun there, but hell, I can get drunk on someone else's tab. biggrin Well, I am off to the gym and then back to studying ARRR!!!
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Theanks for the welcome, yeah my name means something. Solum means alone in latin, so I am an alone child, its depressing I know but hell, its the truth.
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This is my first entry, I'm a newbie, so if any of you have any suggestions let me know...I'm so excited to get to know all of y'all. kiss
maelsblood:
HOLA
hastwothumbs:
Welcome to the site. smile

Interesting name. Does it have a meaning or is it just something you thought sounded cool?