So my account expired for a while but i just worked out how to get it back. I've been living back at my mum's place now for about 6 months and saving money but i might move out to my own place again soon.
I've been pretty much in the pits with depression for most of this year but i've just started a new medication called Reboxetine and it seems to be starting to work, but its early days. It's an adrenergic drug which means it increases the availability of noradrenalin in the synaptic cells in the brain.
Anyway, i wrote this poem about depression a few nights ago.

A stream of darkness drains
Into a void and draws me there.
I cling to a strand of consciousness
Like a beacon of light
Shinning on the edge of
Unmet savagery.

No light will call.
No sound will comfort.
Every effort will fail.

No levy can hold back the tide
Of this black flood.
By degrees I drown
And life is painted over
Without colour.

Outside is moving without concern.
In here is dying without death.
Thoughts are a coal dark shade
And memories hurt to recall.
The sky is turning black and the earth cracks.
Into this pit I fall.
And there's nothing to learn here - nothing at all.

Bury me deep, deep in the earth.
Protect me from things unknown.
Bury these dead feelings
And shield me from the world.
I can unearth nothing but disappointment.
Perspective is gone.
Confidence is crushed
And joy unthinkable.
A dark pain pervades without incision.
And these walls close around me like a prison.

Bury my tears.
Let them fall into the earth
And wash away the fear of loneliness.
I will wrap myself in the warmth of many
And fill this empty blackness with my kin.