soliloquist

I'm living in Lisbon now. It's been three months. I like the city. Most of the moments it just looks like a common, quite normal European city. Sometimes it's extremely beautiful. I've been wanting to get outside with one of my lomos, or my canon, but I've been so busy lately that I never seem to have patience necessary to do it. I like the course I'm taking, I think it was a good choice. I'm on Communication Design, and so far it meets all my expectations.


TODAY I FELT SPECIALLY ALONE.
Partially because I was really physically alone all day. But mostly because I find that I have come to miss a lot of things.
I miss my mother. It's been 8 months since she passed away and I miss her a lot. I miss the house we had in Faro, the most perfect house ever. My house since I was a baby. Our family's house. The house that is no longer ours. My mother was a beautiful person both on the inside and on the outside, and that's how I always think of her now. I'm proud of who she was and of what she achieved in her short life. I wish she could have seen how great she was. I miss all my friends from Faro that are now all across the country, also studying. It's weird not having them in my life on a regular basis now. The people I've come to know here in Lisbon (so far) have nothing to do with me. I don't want to offend anyone, but they're mostly a bunch of cocky nerds.





I feel like smoking. I don't have cigarrettes though. Don't even have money for cigarrettes just now. I need money bad. Who doesn't? I've thought about giving a shot at modelling for Suicide Girls and earn me some money, but I'm not sure if I'm willing to strip for money yet. Even though I always enjoyed the nudity "provided" by Suicide Girls, I don't know if I want to be one of the providers.

Better days will come.


My beautiful mother.