sofia6969

I am updating on my lunch. I am at home because I need to gather some things. It's freezing in my bedroom. I can hear the wind howling against the walls. It's sounds eerie.
This morning my car was frozen solid as I left Santa Cruz. It read 36 in my car. The days are definitely starting to get colder and colder. This makes it difficult, for me, to be sleeping alone in a bed. It always feel so much lonelier when it's cold outside.
The seasons changing have been really screwing with my emotions. Not only that but four of my closest friends are experiencing this as well. At least I am lucky enough to know that the ones I love the most are experiencing the same shit.
I am eager to make my way to the snow. I am eager for a vacation. I am planning a vacation for my birthday. I am hoping to go to Seattle. I am keeping my fingers crossed. I think this would help with all the crap that's been going on. It will give me a break from both jobs and a sense of stability which I need more than anything right now.

I wrote this last night...it's going to be a continual story. I hope my writing skills haven't failed me over these past years.

Take care kids

The Finale
His breath is hot against the down comforter. His heartbeat raced as he kept thinking he couldn't breathe. His dark hair is matted against his forehead from sweat. The taste of salt makes its way to his mouth. He felt like he was dying. His body convulses from anger and sadness. His life has been in turmoil for the past two months, which really felt like a decade.
Wes had been feeling like this for weeks. It was so hard to explain to her. He wanted to give up so badly while feeling the need to continue. It could be because he likes torture or he believes her somewhat.

Twenty miles away, Ami, was feeling the same adverse reaction due to the prior conversation with Wes. Her breathing was in short spurts that made her lungs hurt. She was trying to fight back her tears so no one at work saw her attack.
Ami politely excused herself to the bathroom. There, she looked at the mirror, raised her fist only to realize breaking the mirror would further escalate the situation. After all, she wanted to punch herself and not glass. The tears began to swell in her eyes. This made the bags and dark circles under her eyes worse. Ami began to throw up in the unclean toilet. A knock at the door interrupted her. Her heart shot out of her chest, hit the bathroom door and slid down. Ami's heart was making an awful bloody mess. She straightened herself up. Picked up her body parts and exited quickly.

Wes tried to concentrate at slowing his breathing down. This did not help. His lungs felt like they were being ripped to shreds due to his sporadic breathing. Through tear filled eyes, he looked at his bunny, then to Ami's hamster. He tried to focus on the background noises. He felt his breathing go back to normal. He let out a sigh of relief.
Wes still felt the impact resting on his shoulders. He also felt the two sides of his conscious battling. Wes just wanted this to all go away. He either wanted to move on or walk away completely.

By the time Ami made it to the back storeroom she felt like a million eyes were staring at her. It took so much muscle strength to hold it all together. There is a war going on in her head. Missiles of thoughts are swerving around her synapses. The shooting is making her head pound.
Ami's not sure whether she should just do them both a favor and end it. Or if she should just continue, knowing full well what she got herself into.

Wes couldn't believe the events that have unfolded. History repeating itself is all he could hear in his head. Ami's words felt empty just like his stomach. He couldn't trust her. He knew he need to talk to her once again, it would have to wait until tomorrow.
His eyelids became heavy. Wes felt himself slip out of consciousness. He fell asleep with a heavy weight on his heart. It felt like it was bolted to his throat. Despite how hard it was to breathe he managed to drift into slumber.

Ami finally reached a sense of peace. Her limbs finally stopped shaking. It was only a matter of time before she could sleep and wake up to a brand new day.

Little did she know what was waiting for her in the morning.

to be continued...

I posted a bulletin on MySpace asking for people's support. These past two months have been extremely difficult for me. And now I need my friends and family more than ever. Even as something as silly as a message, or an email, or a IM on AIM, or a phone call or text, helps me out. So, anything is appreciated by ANYONE, it doesn't matter if we are close or not.