soeffinhappy

I apologize for the lack of fresh journals(Lord knows I've chastised YOU for entries that stayed there for too long) but I've been stuck in a disgusting gray period that has blocked out all my creative energies. I feel like Cheif Bromden, feeling my way through fog from a massive and sinister machine controlled by forces bent on my submission. I'm not sure that those forces really exist, unless the whole world is really just one huge organization conspiring to grind my body and mind into gray slate. I suppose anything is possible but I was never one to believe in the black helicopters, you know? Things were going amazingly well for a while and I think that's the main reason why I'm slogging through the mud now. I'm that kind of a person-I'm not just doing good I'm doing GREAT(insert Tony the Tiger voice). It never really lasts though. I'm sort of like a road flare, or a fuse, I burn really brightly, but only for a little while.
I need to take a lesson from Heat. I need to make sure that there is nothing in my life that I can't walk away from in two seconds when I see the heat coming around the corner. I need to be able to quit my job at my leisure and go on tour. I need to not worry about paying so many fucking bills. I need to be able to pack up, move out and start over whenever I want. Hopefully, by this time next year, the only recurring bill I'll have is SG and rent. Wish me luck.