soeffinhappy

You don't just leave sweat on the mat, you leave it all. Your heart is pumping to burst, your arms and legs burn, your lungs feel like plastic wrap being peeled off of hot soup and you keep going. Don't give up. When you've poured all that you are onto the mat, open up the doors in dark cellars of yourself and pull out the ugliness that lives there. If there are five more left, you do five more. If it's twenty seconds til time, you go for twenty seconds. You hate it but you love it. Discipline is the girl who you have the screaming, crying, throw all your stuff out the window fights with. At the time, it hurts and you hate it, you only wish it would end, but when it's over.....ohhhhh MAN when it's over. Is anything so sweet? Years ago I'd come home from work and my feet would ache and my mind would be cloudy. The old shirt that washes up on the side of the lake, yeah that was me. I felt like less than human. Now when I come home, I'm tired, but I feel alive. My muscles tremble with the dull ache of those who are pushing their bodies to the limits. I would think my feeling of freedom was an illusion if not for one thing. The dull ache in my muscles is still there and the scrapes on my knuckles still burn.


The rubble is mostly cleared. The plans, long ago dreamt and drawn are now moving forward. If people lived who wished to celebrate, they would have gathered around the site and popped champagne corks as the ribbon was cut. Some can see it, though the supports are not in place and the walls wait to be erected. I can see it. Where once there was sky and smoke, there will be strength. The very artlessness of it makes it beautiful to behold. Tall and glittering, it commands the eye to move away from the blue that surrounds it so that you can better see it's splendor. I do not yet know who will inhabit it, or what type of business will be conducted in it's fluorescent white corridors, but I do know this: IT WILL STAND.