soeffinhappy

Sometimes things happen for a reason. The whole world spins out of control and it's all your fault. Instead of sleeping, you spent the night surfing SG and playing video games, instead of keeping your mouth shut you said something nasty to a co worker, instead of telling the truth you shoveled out a few more lies. Sometimes when things spin out of control, it's no one's fault. Sometimes, things start to slowly turn. That turn speeds up, getting faster and faster until all of a sudden you're caught in a mad maelstrom. You sit and watch as everyone you love gets depressed, everything you think is good turns to shit and it seems like nothing but hate fills the world. You sit there and ask a question of everyone. Why? Everyone and noone, God and man, they all shut their mouths and avert their eyes. Because sometimes there is no reason why. The tornado has to hit somewhere, and this time it picked your place. Sometimes it's not so bad. You wash the basement and replace a few windows and all is well. Sometimes it's a disaster though. Sometimes it destroys your house and your barn and even gets inside your head, blowing all your thoughts around into a crazy mix of guilt and blame and anger and serenity and love and hate. When that happens, all you can do is hide in your shelter in the dark until the tornado passes, then pick up the debris and rebuild. Maybe someone will come along and help you and your house will end up being better than before, but most times, you do all the work yourself and the house is never quite the same. Sometimes, you need to count yourself lucky that you have so much anger and rage with no outlet, so much to say and no voice, that you're so remorseful and sad and jealous and happy. Sometimes that means that the tornado picked someone else.