socialcoma

Today is the third day of the rest of my life.

August 28th, 2002

Not much is happening. I was a bad girl yesterday and ate Chinese food for dinner, but I tried to compensate by walking all the way home, which is a good half a mile. I stopped from entering my house when I saw my ?stepfather?s? car parked outside the house. That...
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you'd think he'd call. i worry ya know. these kids man, this is why falling in love is a huge pain in my fuckin ass, i have to get up in 4 hours and i can't fall asleep cause he didn't call, so i don't know if he's ok, so i'm up on this damned radiation microwavin computer doing my fuckin laudary and i'm going...
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tonight was ok fine. i stop wanting so much from him. i stopped trying to tweak what didn't make him perfect... i just sat there and enjoyed his presence in my life...danced in the street, and reveled so deeply in his embrace, whispered i love you every chance i got, thinking in the back of my mind how i didn't want things like this to...
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he pulled me out my work last night. his breath smelled of skyy vodka, and his eyes were red.

"michelle, i want you to be the mother of my children..
i love you so much it hurts me heart, and i feel like there's no space for the love i have for you.."

and she looks up to him, which is quite a distance, since...
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hola children of the night, come join my raunchy erotic fluffy dungeon of the underground. not really, but hey break out those partridge family records cause it's gonna be a wild one...

actually, not much going on, i just had a heart to heart with my loved one. i think i was willing to leave the confusion and misunderstanding than to actually talk about things...
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dear me. i keep checking my cellphone, did he leave a message? is my phone broken? there is a total disbelief in the capabilities of a phone when somone calling you is involved.

i need a life. i really need another life from being "in love"... actually it's just in love with out the qutations, i just try to give myself for credit cause i...
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i don't understand males... or maybe it's just him. i feel like he's getting too controlling, but it's not big things, it's the little things. ALWAYS the little things,..that accumulate into a big picture in which you not quite happy with the outcome. it's not a fabulous day. just a day.

eh, what's a life with out a few moments of depression? sheer blind bliss....
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today was nothing out of the ordinary. i worked. i sweat. i lit firecrackers in a residential area.

my mother knows i bring daniel home into my bedroom... and we don't exactly solve algebra problems. actually this the 2nd time i did it, and the 2nd time she's actually cool about it. she doesn't want me to stop having sex, she just doesn't want me...
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audio: ludacris - phat rabbit


yo. i haven't gone near this site in a while. -pets- i missed you, oh, did i miss you. anyway life can be taking some crazy loopy turns sometimes. hmm.

i <3 you so fucking much. god.

my eyes are drooping...
and my vision starts to take on an angle of say... 20 degrees...

like i said, I <3 you.

well, i don't update this ma-jigga much, since i do all my updating @ my love website crack-smoke.org. but regardless, i neglect any aspect of updating since my life isn't all that exciting. though, i really should put more appreciation into the value of life... i sound like a self help guru, OH, and for 58 easy payments of 19.95, YOU CAN BE JUST LIKE...
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mhm. here i am.