Hey, kids! Do some drugs!
I will warn you now, this blog may get a little graphic.
I should probably be reading Autobiography of a Yogi right now for my teacher training course, but yesterday I read Manson's autobiography strait through in one sitting, so I'm gonna waste a little more time on this. Plus, this book has failed to really capture my interest. The next one on our reading list is Gabriel Cousins, a raw foodist, and I've already read some of his work so that should be a little more down my alley.
Yesterday was a good waste of a day. Spent all morning in bed with my pseudo-ex
Lay a blanket on my front lawn and read some Manson. Grilled some portabella mushrooms, threw them on buns with ketchup and mustard, and ate the shit out of them. Deliciouso! Sat down with the aforementioned pseudo-ex and smoked all of the pot I had left. I'm actually planning to practice sobriety for a while (until I get this no-smoking of cigarettes under control... I'm on day 3 1/2, for the most part, without a cigarette! Whooo!) so I wanted to just kill everything that I had. You know. To keep it from getting stale... Haha.
4th of July was pretty cool. Went to DC to the Smoke-In.
SPOILERS! (Click to view)
Riding on the Metro...
Yes, we cannabis!
We always have the bombest chill spot. My pseudo-ex, Dean, is the one with his finger in his nose... The ladies are my beautiful sisters!
Jammed on the metro. Booed some cops out of the event. Made some new friends. Smoked fat j's on the National Mall while watching some ok bands. Got to see this one pretty awesome band play, which was fan-fucking-tabulous. The show seemed to be running behind, though, and I thought they had a pretty skimp set. Phenomenal, though, nonetheless.
Wanna talk about sex?
SPOILERS! (Click to view)
So last night I crawled into bed at 4 am, still kind of stoned, and I was thinking about masturbation. Because I don't, and I haven't, but Dean and I have been talking about experimenting with toys and I have been playing with the idea of getting a vibrator. My therapist always encourages me to go to town on myself, but 24 years of emotional baggage causing one to feel like doing such a thing is "wrong" makes it a bit difficult. So, I was wondering, ladies. What are your thoughts on the issue?
I must say, I am proud of myself recently. I wasn't raised in a catholic household, but I am a 2nd Gen. recipient of catholic sexual views. It is still sometimes hard for me to not feel wrong about sex, but Dean and I have made great leaps and bounds as far as experimenting and voyeurism. I've always had a thing about sex in public places. Recently I've been wearing a lot of skirts with nothing underneath... Yesterday was fun. We fucked on his kitchen counter and his dining room table. He tied me up with an electrical cord and threw me around by my hair for a bit
This is two plus years in the works though... When we first started dating, I in no way felt confidant enough to express myself sexually around him. And I'm still working on being OK with him going down on me.
I have also been playing with the idea of hooking up with girls for a little while. Last summer was my first real foray into the world of making out with girls, and I must say. I kissed a girl, and I liked it. Girls are beautiful, I have no problem admitting that... I don't think that I am sexually attracted to girls, or attracted to them enough to want to have sex with them. But making out with girls is fun. For me, there isn't that sexual pressure that you get when making out with a guy. And, as stupid as it is, there is something rewarding about the shock factor-- no matter how close we progress to gay rights, when two girls kiss, it always kind of catches people off guard.
I went to a bar with some of my friends the other evening, to hear another friend's band play, and we drank a few beers and rolled a j out on the patio.
I blew my hit into one of my guy friends' faces, shotgun style, and this girl that we'd met said that it looked like fun and she wanted one... I kissed her as I blew her the shotgun. Believe me, it was hot. She was pretty cute too... And totally into it. We didn't sit there and make out, but nonetheless that was pretty exciting for me-- my first chance to kiss a girl since last summer.
Random aside: I've been thinking about getting some ben wa balls.
So, I'm gonna go pawn some shit to make sure I have enough money to cover this tattoo I'm getting in a week (!!!).
Nothing is more important than fresh ink! And I have yoga all weekend, 25 fucking hours of yoga over the weekend, so hopefully that will jumpstart me back into my gym routine. I think I'm going to go to a class tonight. And if I get motivated, I will go run for an hour beforehand. Not smoking does wonders for stamina levels.
Drink more water!
That is all.
Love
Zuraih xoxo