"While some will say that Black youth -- and so-called minorities -- shouldn't wear certain clothes because of the "stigma" attached to them, we cannot be so small minded as to believe that the clothing of Black males would have stopped them from being hunted, lynched, and murdered all throughout the history of this country."
I'm in another place mentally.
I have 3 older brothers(35, 38, and 42), and 2 older sisters. The girls are the oldest.
My bro, who is 38, text me on the 16th of this month, telling me that the family needs 290 by March 31st or our parents' home will be foreclosed. The other 5 are all married with two incomes. I'm the only single one. So they actually don't need my money, they want me to give them 290. I told him on the 18th that I will let him know by Friday if I can since Friday was payday. My initially thought was no because this is the second time since my father passed(my mom passed in 2000) that no one has kept up with the tax payments and the first time it happened, they expected me to pay the whole tax bill. No asking me to do it, just demanded I do it. I was like no, I don't have the money to do it. So they compromised after I said no.
Fast forward to Friday, he text me at 3:45 pm for my answer. I was still at work and swamped. I left work around 5:30 pm, did some errands. I got home around 6:30 and I get this text from saying;
"U told me to text u on fri about the taxes and now u r ignoring me. I thought we were better than this so now your other bros and sisters have to find a way to pay your half. U aint right for leaving us hanging but obviously u don't give a damn. U r acting like your dad and the way he used to treat mom and the rest of us. I am very disappointed in you. We might lose the house but fuck it as long as u don't have to pay. I GET IT!"
Keep it mind that I never said no, and the other 5 have two incomes, I only have one. I just recently moved 3 weeks or so ago and I still have legal stuff to pay for the remainder of the year which doesn't include them possibly giving me more classes to attend etc.
So I responded with;
"First, I got your text while I was still at work so I hadn't had time to respond. Second, I don't appreciate the last text because a) the day is not over, b) I hadn't said no, and c) you jumping to conclusions without me even responding. I don't give a damn? Come on now. 290 dollars for me, considering all the financial obligations that I have, is not something that I can just pull out of thin air without considering everything else. I said I was going to text you today and I meant it but them last texts were out of line and uncalled for. I'm turning my back on anyone, yall are still my family regardless but the guilt tripping me has to stop."
He goes on to try to blame me for the last time and then after I stopped talking, he wants to compromise. Why not lead with the compromise to begin with? Why come at me all sideways when I haven't even said yay or nay? It is like he, and I know there are others because that is how my siblings roll, immediately got offended because I wasn't immediately gung ho about dropping 290. My sister pulled the same shit the last time...just going to tell me what I am going to do and then when I am like "No", the guilt trip comes and "oh, you don't care about the family blah blah." I am tired of this bullshit. I am tried of them feeling like every time I actually have a brain and not follow them like lil Jr used to do, I am the black sheep. They do the same shit to my other brother, (the 33 year old). The older 4 work as one mind and when they have their mind made up on something, we are supposed to be good little soldiers and not say shit. Yall don't want to include me on monitoring the taxes, none of the Big 4 has come up with a plan to stop this shit, so why should I give a fuck? Yes, it is the home I grew up in and my parents loved it dearly, but my parents also took care of the bills and made sure we didn't lose our property over some bullshit. I have no say in the matter so I am basically leaning towards deuces and let them deal with it by themselves. I really don't get how the 5 of them paying an extra 60 dollars, is the end of the world. 5 people who make more than I do and 5 people who have spouses who also make money.
I had talked to a co-worker about it and my friend girl and was thinking of ways that I can get the money to my brother, but after that shit, right there, I'm leaning towards no. Not just no but hell no.
If it wasn't for my friends, I don't know what I would do. Don't get me wrong, some of my siblings have been there to help when I needed them, but the help comes with a price tag. The price tag is the constant reminder of what was done and I am forever indebted. My mom was never like that, my dad was.
Peace
I'm in another place mentally.
I have 3 older brothers(35, 38, and 42), and 2 older sisters. The girls are the oldest.
My bro, who is 38, text me on the 16th of this month, telling me that the family needs 290 by March 31st or our parents' home will be foreclosed. The other 5 are all married with two incomes. I'm the only single one. So they actually don't need my money, they want me to give them 290. I told him on the 18th that I will let him know by Friday if I can since Friday was payday. My initially thought was no because this is the second time since my father passed(my mom passed in 2000) that no one has kept up with the tax payments and the first time it happened, they expected me to pay the whole tax bill. No asking me to do it, just demanded I do it. I was like no, I don't have the money to do it. So they compromised after I said no.
Fast forward to Friday, he text me at 3:45 pm for my answer. I was still at work and swamped. I left work around 5:30 pm, did some errands. I got home around 6:30 and I get this text from saying;
"U told me to text u on fri about the taxes and now u r ignoring me. I thought we were better than this so now your other bros and sisters have to find a way to pay your half. U aint right for leaving us hanging but obviously u don't give a damn. U r acting like your dad and the way he used to treat mom and the rest of us. I am very disappointed in you. We might lose the house but fuck it as long as u don't have to pay. I GET IT!"
Keep it mind that I never said no, and the other 5 have two incomes, I only have one. I just recently moved 3 weeks or so ago and I still have legal stuff to pay for the remainder of the year which doesn't include them possibly giving me more classes to attend etc.
So I responded with;
"First, I got your text while I was still at work so I hadn't had time to respond. Second, I don't appreciate the last text because a) the day is not over, b) I hadn't said no, and c) you jumping to conclusions without me even responding. I don't give a damn? Come on now. 290 dollars for me, considering all the financial obligations that I have, is not something that I can just pull out of thin air without considering everything else. I said I was going to text you today and I meant it but them last texts were out of line and uncalled for. I'm turning my back on anyone, yall are still my family regardless but the guilt tripping me has to stop."
He goes on to try to blame me for the last time and then after I stopped talking, he wants to compromise. Why not lead with the compromise to begin with? Why come at me all sideways when I haven't even said yay or nay? It is like he, and I know there are others because that is how my siblings roll, immediately got offended because I wasn't immediately gung ho about dropping 290. My sister pulled the same shit the last time...just going to tell me what I am going to do and then when I am like "No", the guilt trip comes and "oh, you don't care about the family blah blah." I am tired of this bullshit. I am tried of them feeling like every time I actually have a brain and not follow them like lil Jr used to do, I am the black sheep. They do the same shit to my other brother, (the 33 year old). The older 4 work as one mind and when they have their mind made up on something, we are supposed to be good little soldiers and not say shit. Yall don't want to include me on monitoring the taxes, none of the Big 4 has come up with a plan to stop this shit, so why should I give a fuck? Yes, it is the home I grew up in and my parents loved it dearly, but my parents also took care of the bills and made sure we didn't lose our property over some bullshit. I have no say in the matter so I am basically leaning towards deuces and let them deal with it by themselves. I really don't get how the 5 of them paying an extra 60 dollars, is the end of the world. 5 people who make more than I do and 5 people who have spouses who also make money.
I had talked to a co-worker about it and my friend girl and was thinking of ways that I can get the money to my brother, but after that shit, right there, I'm leaning towards no. Not just no but hell no.
If it wasn't for my friends, I don't know what I would do. Don't get me wrong, some of my siblings have been there to help when I needed them, but the help comes with a price tag. The price tag is the constant reminder of what was done and I am forever indebted. My mom was never like that, my dad was.
Peace