So I wonder what makes women tick. I'm sitting here reflecting on yet another failed attempt to get to know someone and all I keep thinking is: "you fuckin idiot!!" All you had to do was be patient but you screwed it up!!"
I pushed too hard. Asked too many questions. Made the rash decision to assume it was gonna just TAKE OFF and we would land in a state of blissful companionship.
Maybe it was her? Maybe it was both of us? It was probably me though, just to be honest. I always assume responsibility. I should've been Moore understanding. More patient. More considerate of with whom I was dealing: A delicate soul that needs to be nurtured. A broken heart that needed to be mended with the gentleness and compassion of a kind and caring human being. Which, quite frankly I'm still learning to be.
I would have never imagined it would be this hard to obtain what I truly desired. I never really thought it through either. I tend to live life in the "spur of the moment" and I always seem to lose in the end..
Just a soft, gentle touch. A feathery caress across my skin. The passionate heat from a woman's body, is all I yearn. I just need to keep in my thoughts theneeds and desire of the one I wish to connect with.
Knowing that these treasures, these gifts,..that I seek, will be my reward. No, I'm not single for lack of want, or desire. I'm single because our souls haven't met yet. Our beings haven't intertwined concretely. Our hearts hanger homed in on each other's beacon yet.
Yet.
I don't even know what to look for. Not even how to recognize it when I do.
I'm like a sea turtle in the deep blue ocean, alone and forever swimming through the vast depths of life. In search of that one piece of me that puts my fatigued soul at peace.
She's out there. I know in the deepest parts of me this to be true. Like a magnet, it will be. Drawing us close by some unseen force of nature.
Then,....I can die.
