So I've been trying a new things in life. First and foremost, getting out of the house more. 99.9% of the time that means doing things alone, but that's just how my life is as I don't know anyone here and don't know how to change that. The more I stew on loneliness, lack of friends, and lack of happiness because of it, the more it'll bring me down. And to be honest I am getting pretty down and backsliding a lot in escaping anxiety and depression. So I'm thinking I should learn to do more things solo that I'd like to doing with other people.
That being said I've taken to getting out and about for basic things. Just the other morning I went out and had breakfast by myself at a restaurant, then went for a walk downtown, and sat awhile in a coffee shop and just watched people go by. I'm not really sure if such exercises will help or not, but at this point I'm willing to try change; what I have been doing is obviously not working. And perhaps with time I'll learn to be happy alone. Then maybe I can find someone else to be happy with, even if it's just friends. I hope so, because I'm kinda scared that I might live the rest of my days this way.
Work is work. I enjoy the tasks I preform, and the coworkers I share my space with, but I really kinda hate my boss. He's just...ugh. He shifts blame for his mistakes to me, micro-manages every move I make, and generally does everything he can to show that he's "The Boss" and I'm his insubordinate. And when he doesn't have anything to complain about in my performance he'll find something. Just today it was my sideburns. Really? It was pretty much just like this. But at least I have a job and I'm not homeless, even if some days I'd really rather be begging for change or blowing some guy behind Arby's for a roast beef deluxe.
I just have to remind myself it's a stepping stone to somewhere better. Or at least I hope it is.
That being said I've taken to getting out and about for basic things. Just the other morning I went out and had breakfast by myself at a restaurant, then went for a walk downtown, and sat awhile in a coffee shop and just watched people go by. I'm not really sure if such exercises will help or not, but at this point I'm willing to try change; what I have been doing is obviously not working. And perhaps with time I'll learn to be happy alone. Then maybe I can find someone else to be happy with, even if it's just friends. I hope so, because I'm kinda scared that I might live the rest of my days this way.
Work is work. I enjoy the tasks I preform, and the coworkers I share my space with, but I really kinda hate my boss. He's just...ugh. He shifts blame for his mistakes to me, micro-manages every move I make, and generally does everything he can to show that he's "The Boss" and I'm his insubordinate. And when he doesn't have anything to complain about in my performance he'll find something. Just today it was my sideburns. Really? It was pretty much just like this. But at least I have a job and I'm not homeless, even if some days I'd really rather be begging for change or blowing some guy behind Arby's for a roast beef deluxe.
I just have to remind myself it's a stepping stone to somewhere better. Or at least I hope it is.
VIEW 6 of 6 COMMENTS
Anyway, I'm rambling now. But I feel ya. Keep fighting the good fight, brother man.
As for the boss, sorry to hear about that. Luckily, I've always managed to work for cool people. But i hear the horror stories. Too many people in management positions just like to power trip; it's sad really, and unfortunate people have to spend their days working for them. Fucking Lumbergs!