0
A Little Christmas Story

When four of Santa's elves got sick, the trainee elves did not produce toys as fast as the regular ones, and Santa began to feel the Pre-Christmas pressure.

Then Mrs.Claus told Santa her Mother was coming to visit, which stressed Santa even more.

When he went to harness the reindeer, he found that three of them were about to...
Read More
0
Her hair was up in a pony tail,
Her favorite dress tied with a bow.
Today was Daddy's Day at school,
And she couldn't wait to go.

But her mommy tried to tell her,
That she probably should stay home
Why the kids might not understand,
If she went to school alone.

But she was not afraid;
She knew just what to say...
Read More
0
A new teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses. She
started her class by saying, 'Everyone who thinks they're stupid, stand
up!' After a few seconds, Little Larry stood up. The teacher said, 'Do
you think you're stupid, Larry?' 'No, ma'am, but I hate to see you
standing there all by yourself!'



Larry watched, fascinated, as his mother smoothed...
Read More
0
A truly touching story amidst all the chaos going on in my life:
I met a girl in the park last night. There was an instant spark between us and she immediately dropped to her knees and laid on the grass at my feet. As we lay making love, I thought ''These taser guns are well worth the money.''


0
I TRULY DID NOT KNOW THIS!

Las Vegas Churches accept gambling chips

THIS MAY COME AS A SURPRISE TO THOSE OF YOU NOT LIVING IN LAS VEGAS, BUT THERE ARE MORE CATHOLIC CHURCHES THAN CASINOS.

NOT SURPRISINGLY, SOME WORSHIPERS AT SUNDAY SERVICES WILL GIVE CASINO CHIPS RATHER THAN CASH WHEN THE BASKET IS PASSED.

SINCE THEY GET CHIPS FROM MANY DIFFERENT CASINOS, THE CHURCHES HAVE...
Read More
texy:
Haha, awesome, I did not know this
0
ONE
I was walking through the cemetery this morning and saw a guy crouching down
behind a tombstone.
I said, "Morning."
He said, "No, just taking a shit."

TWO
When I was a kid, I used to pray every night for a new bike.
Then I realized that God doesn't work that way.
So I stole a bike and asked Him to forgive me...
Read More
0

Four Catholic men and a Catholic woman were having coffee.

The first Catholic man tells his friends, "My son is a priest, when he walks into a room, everyone calls him 'Father'."

The second Catholic man chirps, "My son is a Bishop. When he walks into a room people call him 'Your Grace'."

The third Catholic gent says, "My son is a Cardinal. When he...
Read More
0
A police officer pulls over a speeding car. The officer says,' I clocked you at 80 miles per hour, sir..'

The driver says, 'Gee, officer, I had it on cruise control at 60; perhaps your radar gun needs calibrating. '

Not looking up from her knitting the wife says: 'Now don't be silly, dear -- you know that this car doesn't have cruise control.'

As...
Read More
0
I won't be on for a few days so, I hope everyone has a great Thanksgiving...

A young man named Dave received a parrot as a gift. The parrot had a bad attitude and an even worse vocabulary.

Every word out of the bird's' mouth was rude, obnoxious and laced with profanity. Dave tried and tried to change the bird's attitude by...
Read More
0
After their baby was born, the panicked father went to see the Obstetrician. 'Doctor,' the man said, 'I don't mind telling you, but I'm a little upset because my daughter has red hair. She can't possibly be mine!!'

'Nonsense,' the doctor said... 'Even though you and your wife both have black hair, one of your ancestors may have contributed red hair to...
Read More
0
A hooded robber burst into a Texas Bank and forced the tellers to load a sack full of cash.

On his way out the door a brave Texas customer grabbed the hood and pulled it off revealing the robber's face.

The robber shot the customer without a moment's hesitation. He then looked around the bank and noticed one of the tellers looking straight...
Read More